a.. Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
b.. You've ever lied at a funeral.
c.. You always read the obituaries.
d.. You've ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia 
e.. You wonder why people who have time to kill, spend it with you.
f.. You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion·"
g.. The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
h.. Your car tires are balding faster than your head.
i..  You wish someone would steal some of your sheep.
j..  Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.
k. You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the church ..