updated: 08/21/05 updated: 08/21/05
To get your band or label release reviewed send to:
Phil Irwin PO box 1781 San Marcos TX 78666
NEW WEBSITE FEATURE FOR 2005...MUSIC REVIEWS.
HEY, WHY THE FUCK NOT??
My bowel movements aren't all that flashy anymore..so I need something to go off on.
I've tried to avoid turning this humble, personal "diary" into a cesspool of plugs for every band I know. But, what the fuck. For 2005 just for the fun of it I want to shake things up a bit. For the rest of this calender year, I hereby GUARANTEE to review..however briefly...every commercial music release (CD and vinyl formats) sent to me for this purpose RIGHT HERE on this page.
I will review small time projects by unknowns side by side with more celebrated releases. I will review any genre of music you send in with the understanding that I don't like very much music from certain genres (such as whiney alternative, ska-pop and hip-hop) and will likely not have anything pleasant to say about stuff I hate.
I've been a big fan of every rock genre from rockabilly to punk to metal for a long goddamned time. I dig funky shit..and ancient R&B and soul. I'm especially prone to liking stuff by one man bands. I enjoy some bizarre noisy projects. I'm a huge traditional country fan of course. If you have any new classical recordings laying around I'll frigging review THEM.
I will consider releases dated 2003-2005 as "new" since I consider a release a couple years old fairly "new".
Here's the catch: I will be honest 95% of the time.
As a reviewer in the past I've always shown a special liking for creative or unexpected sounds as opposed to bands who sound like the flavor of the month or the year or the whatever the fuck you have. FUCK TRENDS...I THEE WHISKEY REBEL TRANSCEND ALL TRENDS. I also like many bands who are diehards for their type of sound whether or not they're doing something "new" or not. I like different cd's and records for different reasons. For instance, I wouldn't judge a surf release using the same identical standards as I would a country cd.
I can't return anything sent in....and I can't be pushed to observe a deadline. If you're a band or label feel free of course to use whatever I have to say about what you send in.
In the past I've been a bit hesitant (with a few exceptions) to review releases by bands I know since I'll be hurting the feelings of a dozen other bands who I know and don't mention and who are often equally deserving.
I'll begin next time with a review of the new Antiseen CD and a brilliant new e.p. of their as well.
DON'T BE SHY...SEE YOUR BANDS NAME ON THIS PAGE...for better or worse. Send your cd's and vinyl to: Thee Whiskey Rebel c/o brilliancy prize records P.O.Box 1781 San Marcos, Tx. 78666
REMEMBER!!! No cd or record will be considered too retarded or fucked up to either have a good laugh at...or receive a Texas sized dose of praise.
LABELS...Include whatever written matter you want to include to explain the project to me...but beware of offending me with over the top hype.
ANTISEEN: "Badwill ambassadors" CD & "Dear Abby" vinyl 7" e.p. (TKO records Huntington Beach, Ca.). Also: "Thee from parts unknown E.P." (Scarey records Italy).
What a helluva great way to launch my reviews section of this webstite in an upbeat manner. As many of you know of course, I'm a long time friend of ANTISEEN. As far as I'm concerned they've become one of the best bands in the world any way you slice it. My ardent support for these guys once lead to me being accused of being closet gay by a drunken rock star who later met and befriended the band. I watched it all unfold..but No..I didn't say "I told you so turkey!! That was all a LOOONNNG time ago. Let's get to these releases at hand.
First off "Thee from parts unknown EP" which is pressed on superior euro-vinyl..and therefore pleasing to one's hand upon removing the platter from the beautiful gatefold sleeve lavished with pictures of the band sporting wrestling masks with the ease that the worlds dumbest bimbo Paris Hilton likely styles and profiles a face and mouthful of semen. "Dumps and dives" is a low pitched rumbling number that sets a tone of danger and delightful macho aggresion for this outing. "Mad, bad & dangerous to know" is a pumpin', humpin' and jumpin' swaggering upraised finger of a number that alone would terrify most pacifists to the point they wouldn't even flip the record for side 2. If they did (they won't) they'd get smacked in the face as if with by a North Carolina catfish from a cold stream by "from parts unknown" which glorifies masked stars of the squared circle that any REAL man will recognize but will make any whine-rock moron just go "Huh?". The disc ends with a rousing live version of a classic Antiseen tune "watch the bastard fry" which if my memory serves me was directed towards that cuddly s.o.b. Ted Bundy (to paraphrase an old SCTV skit I love: "He burned up REAL GOOD!").
The "Dear Abby" EP consists of versions (3 live) of Antiseens epic tributes to four supreme sadist/nihilist wrestlers of all time: Abdullah the Butcher, Sabu, Terry Funk and Cactus Jack. Now, I ask you....have you heard of a more promising premise for a 4 song release in years?? OF COURSE it's fucking great. If you have the sense to appreciate hardcore wrestling but sadly don't know dick about Antiseen..here's a great place to start. There may be hope for you yet. My copy is pressed on lovely blue swirl vinyl incidentally. An insert has been lovingly inserted with directions to Abdullah's home base eatery in Hotlanta. FUCK that Bobby Flay yuppie crap..Go order a big platter of studly ribs..and tell Abby's staff Antiseen sent ya'.
Which leaves us with "badwill Ambassadors"...an epic full length release that has been declared as their best by a good friend of mine in a thoughtful review in Carbon14 magazine. Well, trying to name the best Antiseen album is like trying to pick which one of your teeth is your favorite. They ALL have a special purpose and are all capable of being declared "the best" based if only on the sentimental memories you attach to your personal preference. A new Antiseen full length release is to savy listeners educated in the realm of rock and roll what a new Scorcese film is to movie buffs. That may seem like exaggeration..but who amongst all ye Antiseen fans hasn't played every one of their albums even more often than you've watched "Taxi driver" or "Goodfellas'"? If there's a "theme" at work here it would be that several of these songs seem to be a response to the sort of pansy, psuedo-intellectual critics who think Antiseen are a bunch of non-politically correct barbaric rednecks. The point is, OF COURSE they are! But that's a GOOD thing from the standpoint of many of us. That's precisely why we love this band. "No apologies", "scapegoat" and "F.T.K." (fuck the kids) will be as welcome to the do-gooder creeps who hate everything these guys stand for as a handful of Mr. Fuji's sneaky blinding salt. If that doesn't have 'em peeing in their crusty punk britches "Pledge allegiance to the bomb" will definetly do the job. "The devil meets the longhaired weirdo" is a Southern rock classic that may be the best cut on this CD. Then again, "ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag" and "weight of the world" will likely be the favorites of others..it's hard to say.
Musically, I'm very impressed. This isn't mere punk rock..this isn't pure metal..this is ROCK AND ROLL pal. The usual Antiseen toe-tappin' factor logs in high here once again. The vast majority of great heavy handed kickassss rock and roll bands sound whimpy and over produced by their 3rd or 4th album. That's sure as hell not the case here. There's a damned sure connection to the early Antiseen albums at work..but they aren't just lazily going through the motions. Most importantly, unlike some of their peers..they aren't afraid to be compared with their own great earlier work which has been embraced by a lot of fans world wide.
Let's see. CAN I THINK OF SOMETHING BAD TO SAY about these releases? Sure, it's easy. They keep playing the same 7 notes (and the accompanying sharps and flats) over and over again; when will they come up with some new notes? And hey..why aren't the two EP's full length releases?? HHmm??? See. They could be releasing several full length albums per year, right? Why can't they play every two-bit fucking little town in the U.S. on a regular basis to suit every last existing handful of rabid fans?? HHmm? Yes, they may have to sacrifice their personal lives and abandon their loved ones and subsist off of peanut butter to do so.....but don't they owe it to us??
YEAH......SURREEEEE!!!!!!
The BORN LOSERS 7" Vinyl e.p. (Scarey records, Italy).
This label is home to some red hot rock and roll by heavyweights like Bootleg Bill, Antiseen, The Dead Kinds and my neighbours up the road in A-town the Bulemics. Imagine my surprise when I unwrapped this one to find that this band is from a place I used to consider my hometown..Portland, Oregon (a.k.a. Snoreland Boregon).
Portland is loaded...I mean fucking crammed cheek to cheek with schmoozing, "music scene totem-pole" type bands. The last time I went there my pal Mike McNally drove me around shaking his head all the while...pointing out how you rarely see anybody but trend following hipsters in many parts of the "rose" city.
I wondered..how did this weinertown band wind up on Scarey records label..which seems to have a pronounced taste for good old sick Motherfuckin' rock and roll?? HHm??
I slapped the platter on the turntable and let 'er rip; I was nodding like a dope within seconds. THE BORN LOSERS no matter what else I may write about them here understand rock and roll. They are on the right side of the fence as of this release no doubt. The songs "for Chicago girls" and "streets of this town" are kicked off by well executed catchy guitar riffs that hold my interest and then some. "Red light valentine" is a bit slower but churns damned well. There's not a trace of "alternative" pop sensibility to be heard here. Of course, that's a GOOD thing in my world. Hey, it would've been a handy thing if I had been provided with a lyric sheet. I can't tell enough about the bands "attitytude" as they say in Hostile city without one. I don't think these guys are misanthropes..but you don't have to be a sick Motherfucker to rock.
BOTTOM LINE: YES..I will play this disc for friends...and they'll likely enjoy it.
As an inquiring mind type guy, I decided to explore their website. Wouldn't you know it...they aren't native Portlanders. They're from the lovely State of Alaska. The big question is this: will they let themselves be sucked into the pretentious music scene in Snoreland in an all out push to "get signed"?? Or will they carve out their own following of REAL rock and roll fans a few sets of ears at a time?? It's their choice.
A third option is for them to pack their trunks and head to a city with balls. Hey, there's Tacoma just back up the highway 100 miles.
An odd far-fetched coincidental note; the bands name "the Born Losers" was the title to the 1st movie in the "Billy Jack" series...which directly inspired the name (and choice of hat!) of Portlands legendary wrestler Billy Jack Haynes. Rock and roll is loaded with eerie coincidences like that. Will the band enjoy Mr. Haynes success as fan favorites?? Or turn into a foaming at the mouth heel act and scare the shit out of everybody..just for the fuck of it?? We shall see.
I knew this was something special from the first listen. I've taken my time about reviewing it and have listened to it more times than most releases because I want to do it justice.
Not all that many years ago fans of loud, kickass genres of music tended to gather in tribes dedicated to one of metal or punks sub-genres. People who cultivated the "look" of that sub-genre's music naturally swore their allegiance to that sub-genre and in many cases wouldn't be caught dead listening to anything else. It was almost comical when I'd see some extreme fan of a sub-genre walk through the Tower records store I worked at in Philly; I'd laugh to myself speculating as to whether or not they slept in their cool sub-genre identification duds.
It seems to me The NERDS seem to exist in direct opposition to that sort of mentality. It sounds like these Italian boys have been listening to the best of the best from one helluva lot of sub-genres. The result is a batch of 10 very well arranged songs with a lot of layered sounds and moods within the realm of kick-assedness.
HEY!!! Don't get me wrong!!! This isn't a load of prog-rock bullshit.
The average Hookers or Antiseen fan sitting in his dumpy duplex in Ohio or Missouri is going to react to this CD by grunting out between swills from his PBR can: "THAT FUCKING ROCKS!" as a grin parts his perma-scowl just a tad bit.
AND THAT IS GOOD. THAT'S HOW GREAT ROCK AND ROLL SHOULD BE APPRECIATED.
I just want to point out the fact that there's a lot more subtle things going on here than many listeners will recognize or need. The tracks "the traitor" "requiem for the forlorn hope" and "burning ambition" (featuring lovely guest guitar work from Florida rock-god Bootleg Bill) are layered in a similar (but different) manner that the Dead Boys layered some of their album tracks. At times guitar player Monkey Motherfucker's leads present an almost cocky, pleasant contrast to a dark metal like rhythm section.
To put that in layman's terms, it sounds like the band is triumphantly guzzling cold beers in hell. YEAH.
When I write songs for my band I usually take the cowards way out these days and try to make them as simple as possible so we don't fuck them up live (I probably should have gone that route 20 years ago!).
I can see this CD equally appealing to experienced musicians who have played in bands who know how much rehearsal time these guys have put in, AND to the average lovable beer bellied Joe who loves his loud music and his weed who smiles when he dumps beer in his goatee.
I guess I can draw a wrestling parallel here between the NERDS and Lord William/Steven Regal; his work is sophisticated if you know the art of technical wrestling well (not that I claim to) but very pleasing on a basic gut level too.
ANTISEEN / ELECTRIC FRANKSTEIN split 7" TKO records "round 135".
These two veteran bands go together as well as Beam and Bud. Antiseen's tune is "weight of the world". It's swaggering chordal progression pegs about an 8.5 out of 10 on my catchy riff-ometer. Electric Frankenstein's "burn bright, burn fast" doesn't swagger..it rolls in an intimidating fashion resembling a too-fast cab ride down one of those steep ass hills in San Francisco.
Besides the incidental fact that both songs are kickass, I'd like to point out that TKO has busted fanny to ensure that you get an attractive single you'll show off to friends too lazy to buy this for many years to come. The vinyl is a black ink flecked solid green color resembling a kind of nauseating jello I used to see at buffets frequented by old farts (it usually had soggy marshmellows in it). There's 2 kinds of colored vinyl: 1) ordinary colored wax available from most pressing plants for a few pennies extra (yawn)..and then there's 2) fucking COOL colored vinyl that is unique like this slab. Hey, there's a quality full color cardstock sleeve wrapped around this split that's probably more amusing alone than most run of the mill bands actual records.
If by some coincidence you've just snapped out of a decade or so long coma or have just been released by your State's correctional system and haven't heard of these bands, this is a great release to begin your remedial music appreciation study course with.
What we have here to my understanding is a band that achieved a significant amount of commercial recognition in the realm of modern commercial punk rock, played some damned big stages in this country and overseas...and then crashed and burned losing a couple band members along the perilous path of "success". Hell, the title spells that out.
Quite a few of the songs are a bit too civilized for my personal taste which tends to lean towards the bizarre and the tasteless, but I could say the same thing about David Allan Coe or the Buzzcocks. I always focus on songs that I like by acts like those and ignore tunes written in the interest of paying for the groceries as Jeff Clayton once put it. I want to extend the same courtest to the Generators.
There's a song on this CD that is so fucking good I declared it a table thumping smash the first time I heard it. It's titled "dying in a rock and roll band"..and it kicks fucking butt. I mean, it REALLY does. I'll be playing it for everybody that happens by my turntable probably for the next couple years. It perfectly reflects the immortal "what the fuck!" attitude that has inspired punk rock nihilists to carve their arms up, get shitfaced and romp around in a fun but stupid manner since 1977.
These guys are on the right side of the fence for sure. It's not easy to come up with even one timeless classic like "dying in a rock and roll band". I also like some of the other songs such as "wasting your time" which reminds me of many pests of both sexes I've known over the years, but HEY...how about that "Dying in a rock and roll band" song??
I must have 4 Buzzcocks LP's around here, but I always wind up playing
"orgasm addict" and "noise annoys" over and over again
in spite of the fact that they have other good songs. That's the way I'll
likely deal with this CD....UURRPP. Got a problem with that???
"We're
getting closer to the grave each day- a Hank Williams tribute" CD (Devils
shitburner records..Germany).
This one wasn't exactly submitted to me since I play on a track; oh well..so fucking sue me. I make the rules here and I can change, break or augment them at will.
Actually, it's not a bad thing to point out that from the perspective of a guy who has appeared on a jillion compilations and a few tributes over the years, this one is one of the very best without doubt.
We can thank the fine Devil's shitburner label for that. A helluva lot of hard work went into this as opposed to many a comp I've played on that frankly stunk. The absolute worst one Rancid Vat ever appeared on was by the "Mystic records" label based out of some fucking gutter in L.A.
Not only did I have to buy my 1st copy of it (the "city of thorns" LP) from an overpriced Melrose St. record shop, I had to later buy my 2nd copy on Ebay from a record dealer I know. Not only did we never get a copy (and it was the only vinyl appearance ever for some of the bands) from the notorius loser who ran that label the imbecile who layed out the lettering on the sleeve spelled our band name wrong (Rancid Bat!). It was a really low budget piece of absolute garbage from a notoriously shitty label that fucked a lot of bands up the poop shute without benefit of lubricant.
This Hank tribute is a complete mirror image opposite. The booklet is full color and professional looking; there is a brief note giving this project a nice thumbs up from Hank III himself...and all the bands names are spelled correctly even though the graphics were likely layed out by someone to whom English is a 2nd language. Best of all, the music is damned good from start to finish. I expected of course great songs from long time friends who appear here. I was surprised how the bands I've never heard of seemed to do just as well. The spirit of the great Hank Williams Sr...MY FAVORITE RECORDING ARTIST OF ALL TIME...has been well saluted with this project.
The order of the songs is even very well handled. I haven't completely figured it all out..but it's only right that "ramblin' man" by the Arizona A Bombs kicks off the festivities. The bookend ending tracks are "long gone lonesome blues" by the V 8 Wankers...which would've been a great track to end on..but is a lead in for a version of "alone and forsaken" by Wyldfyre that raises goose flesh on my arms.
The disc passes through a varied batch of moods that Hank layed down himself back in the day. "Jambalaya" by Before I hang" and "Hey good lookin'" by Bootleg Bill are both irreverant renditions that I'm sure Mr. Williams would've slapped his thigh over. Yep...it's not "verboten" to alter his words..legend has it he loved to do it himself in sing along fashion in the back seat of his Caddy burning down the highway to his next show.
In a more somber mood, Germany's Karamasov Bros. provide a salute to Hank (and a deceased pal of theirs at the same time) with a version of "6 more miles" that'll have you bawling in your Jagermeister cup unless you're a cold hearted dickwad.
Right before that, A trio of mighty American "H"-bands rip their way through 3 rousing numbers: The Hammercocks blaze through "settin' the woods on fire", Hammerlock lashes out with a medley of "mind your own business/ I got rights" and the immortal late great Hellstomper romps through "move it on over".
I could continue and comment on every track, but you might think I was over doing things a bit because I like them all and would gladly buy 3 rounds for every damned band represented here. Every damned band that appears seems to understand Hank. It shows...and even though there are some appropriate somber moments, there's not a DAMNED bit of wimpy "alternative" country polluting the works I might add.
If you love Hank...you will track this down. I'll buy it back from you if you do on my word and then end up thinking I'm exagerrating here.
If Jeff Dahl was a food item...he'd be a dependable cheeseburger. If he was an airline pilot he'd deliver a smooth cosy flight you'd easily sleep through.
You won't sleep through this CD though. It's good, dependable rock and roll from a legendary guy whose devoted a large chunk of his life to delivering the goods music wise. He's not an experimenter or a trend hopper. He sticks to what he knows best..the same sort of hybrid punk/rock sound that worked for bands like the Dead Boys, Ramones, Dictators and other worthies from that generation. There are thankfully no programmed drums or samples and absolutely no consessions to "alternative" whine-rock.
There's a good flow at work here from song to song. It starts with a catchy number "lost faith" that acclimates your ears to Jeff's good, solid band. By the time the last track "weak as a kitten" is over my ears at least were happy that I have another disc to add to the elite PLAY STRAIGHT THROUGH pile of CD's I reserve for get boozy togethers and occasions where I don't want to keep having to leap to my feet to skip over dud filler tunes.
The one song that might've gone wrong (but didn't) is a cover of "no matter what" by Bad Company (unless I'm on drugs and it was somebody else who is responsible for it). I've never been a fan of Apple label type bands..but the song works pretty well. I'll cite my favorite numbers here though as "SXSW whore" (pertaining obviously to this weeks upcoming Austin music industry kiss-ass-a-thon) the randy "cock O' the walk" and the aforementioned "weak as a kitten" which ends things on a nice sweaty note.
This isn't retro-punk..since Mr. Dahl is a pioneer of the genre since way the hell back. Fans who are into the glut of well intentioned but pretentious bands of that ilk should have this CD brought to their attention..in a forcible manner if neccessary.
Just think....Jeff's been at it so long..I was an aspiring young businessman when he was starting out; Marla still wore dresses back then..and we both still attempted to please our suburban parents on occasion.
I'm glad Jeff Dahl is a diehard..and that I've had the pleasure to pump his hand in person.
4/06/05
"the YUPPIE PRICKS" CD: "brokers banquet" (Alternative tentacles).
I've always been a sucker for concept bands that sport "unusual" get-ups. If I'm not mistaken this band has been seen about Austin clad in tennis duds..which evidently is their way of staying in charachter.
This is a well written and performed CD that rips into yuppies from all angles. It's not only funny, you can actually understand the words unlike some projects with misguided production. A Yuppie coke binge song "Coke party" leads off the disc. The band sounds great ..the marshalls are cranked. "Hummer in my hummer" is obviously intended as a slap in the face to Gov. Arnold. HHmmm....he might actually get a kick out of it. I don't think the Hilton Sisters would find the verse dedicated to them in "rich bitch" to be funny though. To me, the best number of all is "new rolls" which is a take off on the Damned's "new rose"..I quote: "I got a new rolls..I got it good..yes I knew that I always would..I can't stop to mess around..I'm driving the brand new Rolls in town". HAH...it's as funny as a yuppie cell-phone induced brain tumor and then some. My yuppie pal Jello Biafra joins the fun to close out the CD with "damn it feels good to be a yuppie". I suppose some folks might get tired of the steady stream of mean spirited yuppie jokes herein. TOUGH SHIT! I've been fed up with real live yuppies 365 days per year for a damn long time.
5/08/05
The EARACHES CD "get the revolution out of your head" (Steel cage).
Overall, a fine band..from Seattle..a pretentious town full of spoiled upper middle class weinies..I was a bit surprised. These are some hot musicians who know how to write and perform catchy songs. The production duties are well handled by seasoned veteran Tim Kerr. Steel cage will do really well with this I predict. Songs like "I'm hard up" and "fake radio" and the title track are well honed, meat and potato's Guitar/bass/drums rock and roll.
There's something about this cd I've got to take issue with though. Don't get me wrong; I'd still be happy to knock back some drinks with these guys and I think they're on the right side of the rock and roll fence.
It's a couple slogans stamped on the disc and insert booklet that bug me.
The rhymer to "get the revolution out of your head" is
"take it into the streets instead".
Then, the bromide "start your own band!" is visably plastered all over the place.
I'll lose all credability here if I let that pass without taking umbrage.
These guys mean well, but HUMPING JUMPING JESUS! There are too god damned many bands already; so many that its likely that an ideological band that wants to advocate "change" or "revolution" is likely gonna get lost in the shuffle.
I think the correct strategy is expressed in a rock and roll song penned by thee Cosmic Commander of wrestling and myself a few years ago.."rock and roll fraud". I quote: "be a man..break up your band".
Don't get the revolution "out of your head.."
Instead, USE YOUR NOGGIN! IMPROVE it..educate yourself. Read lots of books. Don't waste your time playing music in bars to drunks...or schmoozing with like minded revolutionaries. There are already too many damned bands. Write a book. Get into a position of power in the "real" world and use it to advance your cause.
Find a way to get normal, Joe lunch bucket type guys to come around to your way of thinking. Don't start the umpteenth thousand political punk band and think you're going to do anything but preach to the converted.
I know I'm fighting a losing battle trying to get this point across.
Look at it this way? If Noam Chomsky had started a band in the 60's..his credibility would've been blown. He wouldn't have accomplished shit.
Just like I love the MC5 in spite of their frequent half baked political slogans, I enjoy this band a lot even though I've dumped on their start a band notion.
Bottom line: a damned good rocking CD.
PILOT SCOTT TRACY "any city" CD (Alternative tentacles).
This is a nice oddball release. Heavy use is made of quirky outmoded keyboard sounds that were fashionable when Devo and Kraftwerk were prominent. Rather than beat you over the head with guitar riffs this outfit sneaks up on you...like an old "love boat" or "fantasy Island" episode you find yourself watching at 4:00 a.m.
There's something slightly off kilter and topsy turvy at work here. No, it's not dance music. This "in-flight band" schtick combo might just wind up choking you out with your overhead breathing device; or, you might gag to death on a tiny sack of California almonds...as the band warbles and plugs away...at a cover of the old chestnut "master Jack" or "human earthquake" (which would've fit in on one of the 1st couple Talking Heads albums..which were great). "Angel of death" is complex and deceptive. Yeah, this band is toying with our brains. The last track "take a flight" is probably my favorite; a perfect background sound to accompany the potential terrors perceived by paranoid travelers like myself.
There are member(s) of the "Causey way" musical cult involved in this ensemble. When I realized that I knew this wouldn't be just another batch of guitar oriented 3 chorders. That's good. The world needs more oddball, quirky, eccentric musical projects.
This cd turned out to be superb background video baseball music..way the hell better than the music programmed for that purpose by E.A. sports. This release is the aural equivalent of Jiffy-pop served to you at 36,000 feet as Muslims wash their feet in a carry on device in the back row by the tiny shitters.
5/06/05
LINCOLN LOVE LOG CD (black hole productions).
This project is manned by a couple drunks from Illinois who appreciate the joys (obviously) of bashing away at distortion unit fueled guitars with gusto. It's a batch of raw numbers heavy on riffs likely to piss off a few sensitive
"Guitar player" magazine technico's. Don't get me wrong..these guys know how to play and bellow into mic's..they clearly simply choose not to sound like yet another over produced, friendly, sanitized MTV punk band (YUCK!) that 9 year olds can listen to with their parents as they eat their milk and cookies. There's a dismemberment/sex/meat theme running through the delightful tunes you can pick up on from the song titles: "gore may", "my sweet BBQ", "double headed dildo", "pink taco", etc. YEAH.
This release is definetly "sick bastard approved".
Look this band up and order the CD if they've got any left; either way, while you're at it make sure and get a Lincoln Love Log T-shirt...they are offensive indeed. Mark wears his when he's in the mood for a few fresh chicks. Maybe you'll have similar luck.
VIVA LLL.
5/11/05
BLARE BITCH PROJECT cd "double distortion burger" (Steel cage).
Musically speaking, this cd really rips. There are 9 tracks..all of which are very well arranged and recorded...and fun to listen to. Frankly, I had my doubts about how good I expected this to be based on the band name (sorry folks..it's heavily used by others,,check the net) the title (huh?) and the cover art.
The cd kicked into impressive high gear beginning with the first notes of the lead off tune "catch me". "Knock me out" "drink"and "shut the fuck up"stood out as instant classics the first time I hear 'em. As I tapped my toe, I gazed at the insert booklet to try to figure out who these people were and what they're all about. Suddenly it all made sense; they're from Hollywood! That explains everything including the 80 or so pictures of band members squeezed here and there and the incredibly long thank you list..everything.
Who cares how many "Blare bitch" or "Blair bitch" projects are located all over the country...since this band is the one based in Hollywood, they are the only one that matters.
No, I'm not being a smartass. I lived in Hollywood for a while. I know how things work there. It's this bands birthright to be the REAL B.B.P. They've earned it.
Anyway, this band features a couple members of Betty Blowtorch...a band I've heard of but never heard. I sometimes have a problem with female vocalists who emulate Pat Benatar or Stevie Nicks; no such "influence"problems are to be found on this release. The singer sounds on a par with Joan Jett on one of her best days (the musicianship blows away the runaways..whom I dig anyway). Some of the lyrics in the insert are a little cliche..and might not exactly get a thumbs up read at a poetry slam, but this ain't poetry..it's rock and fucking roll. If you're into poetry go get a Patti Smith cd.If you want a cd that can follow those of high octane icon bands like the Dictators (or virtually anything I've given a double thumbs up to in this diary) without any let up...look no further. I' ready to hear more.
ELECTRIC FRANKENSTEIN cd "burn bright,burn fast" (TKO records).
This venerable outfit has churned out an incredible load of great stuff over the years..which puts them on a higher level than those initially hot but lazy bands that are able to work up 15-20 mighty songs but can't maintain the momentum to take it futher.
This disc sounds like a hell of a lot of work went into it. It starts off with an acapella little warble that leads into the catchy title track. A nice touch. Track two "everybody's dead again" keeps up the pace with a guitar riff/drum answer build up that sets up a blood curdling yelp by singer Steve Miller. YEAH. I already want to hear the first two numbers again. "Spit it out!" is fast, sweaty and intense..and just the right length. These guys really know how to arrange songs and keep the listener from padding off to the beer cooler or otherwise tuning out the band in mid song. Yep, ELECTRIC FRANKENSTEIN are fucking consumate pro's at the art of shaping a string of songs into something that leaves you primed for more..rather than reaching back to the cd rack after a few songs.
"New world whore" is a sort of blend of the N.Y. Dolls and the Dead Boys..without aping either band. "Electric misery" is the sort of song you'd like to hear from the Alice Cooper band if they reformed. Damn..this bands amazing.
Much like the precious little hunk of chocolate you find inside a tootsie pop or the prize in a box of cracker-fucking-Jacks, E.F. cleverly positioned 3 cover tunes at the end of the CD. The first one "talk talk" by the 60's band the Music Machine is as good as any 60's cover I've heard in quite awhile. The final track is a song I've always hated by the Cars "Candy-O". How can they make a Cars song sound good I pondered. Well, they did. It ain't no skinny tie, pointy shoe, new wave bullshit in the hands of Electric Frankenstein. A nice jolly way to end a 14 song full lengther.
All you lazy asses in one trick pony bands take note! This is a band's band. Strive to emulate their obvious work ethic, their intensity and imagination. UUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP.
5/15/05
THE SHOOK cd "oilville" (label?)
This ones a bit of a challenge. That's ok..I'm up to it. I don't know much about this U.K. band since there's no info sheet included (which is a backassed blessing considering how many of them have turned me against a band) and their website is under construction. There's no lyric sheet; are they heathens? christian? I dunno.
I'm favorably disposed to this cd for a couple reasons. First off, this release is a reminder that our Brit pals have rediscovered electric guitars and rock music in general as opposed to too many years of trendy synth pop. Secondly, the guitarist (named Dara..a female?) reminds me of my wife's playing. Whenever there's a lead or instrumental passage she (I think she's a she) jumps in flailing, snapping and snarling thanks to an assortment of effects pedals. Lots of inertia..and very little feminine pussyfooting around. I like it.
I can only speculate what sort of music these folks consider to have influenced them. Could include any hard rock bands from Cream to Sabbath to even some Seattle crap I hate. The first song "she said" is a good one boasting of some mighty, booming riffy chords. The singer is talented..although maybe not entirely my cup of tea. He reminds me (of all people) of seasoned classic rock pro David Clayton-Thomas in an abstract way at times.
Song two "soapbox paranoia" has some more grinding, start/stop chords..well done. "Forever ends today" is set to a more straight ahead rocking beat. It's not a stretch of the imagination to envision this getting some air play; BUT! after some solid verses the guitar comes riding in like Helios Creed rendering this song too ass kicking to be commercial. This seems to be a pattern: "Hold on" seemed to be the one snoozer on the disc..until the guitar comes to the rescue with a nail garling sound.
It's fun speculating on a band like this I know nothing about. I know a lot of people would like this. I know a lot who would hate it too. As they say..that's show biz. It's very well recorded and constructed hard rock.
STRAITJACKET cd "modern thieves" (TKO).
When I read that this band was from my ex-home town Portland, I groaned; then I saw that they're from the OTHER Portland..MAINE. Whew. So, I listened to it with an open mind and liked it. THEN I LEARNED that they actually are from Portland Oregon..WHOOPS! This band doesn't have murky influences. They're obviously inspired by '77 style U.K. punk bands like the Buzzcocks and the Clash....two bands I've seen play live personally. These guys pull it off damn well with proper respect to the genre. I'm often critical of American bands who sing with crumpet dunking limey accents. To be honest though, I'm not offended by singers who emulate Hank Williams Sr. or 60's-psych bands with singers who sound like Mick Jagger or Detroit sound bands with crooners who bring to mind Rob Tyner; so, what the fuck. This isn't an overwrought "sensitive" band. These guys sound like they're having fun. That's the whole idea of music like this...simple 3 chord blasts with snot dripping guitar bashing and sing along chorus's.
If that isn't good enough for you...what are you doing here? Get your Norah Jones loving ass out of here.
F-U-N. "A new disaster" reminds me of the jolly, guitar driven' Toy Dolls. Songs like "We wanna know" and "blank" and "legendary failure" bounce along infectiously. Some of the songs such as "tunnel vision" and the closing number "won't say sorry" are more bittersweet. Throughout the bass, drum and guitar work are appropriate. Double thumbs up. The guitar player in particular is adept at those stinging little fills between phrases ala Mick Jones and Steve Diggle.
Yeah, yeah..they're from Snoreland Boregon...but don't hold that against them. These guys are a lot better than many a young band I've seen claiming to play old school stuff.
6/05/05
The ESCAPED (self titled) CD TKO records
To begin on an unprofessional personal note, I've got to hand it to TKO. How in the hell do they keep digging up good bands out of my former "home town" Snoreland Boregon? This outfit sounds like it could have grown up listening to my old Portland pals Poison Idea. Their sound is big and ugly yet joyous...like a rainy northwest afternoon spent gargling a few of those old 64 ounce jugs of Old English I used to see in bum stores in Portland.
"Get away" opens the 6 song set with a steady layer of methodical high octane guitar strums. A sort of call to arms. The rest of the band (including 2 pissed off vocalists) jumps in with their boots on. This is when you need to push the "pause" button and head to the kitchen for some liquid refreshment of your own..you're gonna need it. This isn't soothing music to accompany a nap or provide a mundane ambiance for a dinner party. "Resent" is an over the top, frantic blast with the drummer flaining and the singers sounding like they're cracking their skulls together..everything coming near unglued..that to me symbolizes the chaotic high water mark of a malt liquor blast.
"Never be the same" and "regret the day" are proud anthemic numbers with catchy melodic undertones that'll still be rattling around in your noggin' when the high wears off and you're checking your pockets for change for a wake up 40 ouncer.
Overall, a fine batch of songs for fans of romping, stomping bigassed loud hardcore/punk. I'll be playing this one alot down here in Texas for boozing house guests.
The TEMPLARS cd:"Clockwork orange horror show e.p." (Templecombe/TKO).
A reissue of a batch of hard to find oi anthems by the Templars..an outfit that's been around evidently since 1991. There are amusing synth and vocal bits between tracks utilizing "clockwork orange" schtick. It's all very well done and hard not to like. I enjoy having my music served up with a hint of menace and violence. Songs like "you'd better beware" "doing the dirty" and "war on the streets" are middle finger waggling modern urban blue collar street hymns.
On the other hand, the track "Clockwork orange horror show" is amazingly cheery, bouncy and uplifting. That shouldn't be surprising..this band reflects a way of life and several moods. There's a great cover of the Angelic Upstarts "teenage warning". I don't have very much from this sub-genre in my musical library, but I like it alot. You don't have to be from the South to enjoy Antiseen for instance..and you needn't be living in an urban hellzone to enjoy the Templars singalong tunes.
7/06/05
FM BATS CD "everybody out..shark in the water" (Vinyl Dog..TKO distribution). This is a batch of a half dozen quirky tunes that will likely piss off the legions of stubborn Ramones chord purists....but please the equally large number of people who are bored with bands who they feel are beating the "Barre chord" to death.
This is a long running battle. I understand how both sides feel. When we started Rancid Vat a quarter century ago I played lots of single notes because it was all I could do. The FM BATS guitar player is definetly better than I was back then..but his guitar ideas are very minimalist..and will go right up the ass of people who demand that everybody play like Angus Young (whom of course I also dig).
To this I say, TOUGH SHIT.
It's like cheeseburgers and Thai food. Yeah, I like cheeseburgers, but I think folks who eat nothing but cheeseburgers are full of shit trying to hold back those of us who eat other stuff.
Anyway, this bands singer sounds like he's loaded on a couple jumbo bottles of Cisco...I approve. The rhythm section is also "minimalist" but pretty tight. These guys have rehearsed. The result is their collective rock and roll VISION..and it's worth several listens. To rework a familiar rock critic cliche, these guys sound like bastard sons of Captain Beefheart...or maybe the dudes from Pere Ubu.
My favorite tracks are "young mans glory old mans blues" the lyrics of (which reeks of drunken confusion and lust...like an ode to spending a drunken night passed out in a dumpster behind an adult book store?!?) and "18 is dying" which boasts the cheery couplet: "to hear your Mother scream..is like a wet dream"...
UUURRRRRRRPPPPP
7/07/05
THE BAD VIBES CD: "all the right ways to do you wrong" (Steel cage label).
Yeah, the perfect CD to answer the bogus images of Philly as seen in the recent "live 8" coverage. I can personally attest to the fact that most of the monuments and attractions from the art museum to "love" (HAH!) park and city hall simply fucking reek of several score years of bum piss and puke. South street is even worse. Never mind the scum and slime and spent condoms..it's a playground by night for trendies from 75 miles in all directions. Neighborhood streets are populated by sturdy, resilient gaptoothed locals..whose delightful cynicism is matched by their relentless ignorance and lack of interest in things like books and the "arts". The Bad Vibes are based out of Philly. Even though this CD isn't a "concept" album in a contrived sense, to me at least it follows the rock solid NATURAL THEME of emotional reaction towards the waves of humanity you come into contact with on a daily basis living in lovely "Hostile city". The lyrics are general enough to apply to other cities teeming with hostility. I quote: "God damn the hate and the city..it sits and eats away at me".
And: "lose-lose proposition..when it's all you got..you'll drink it down..and pray it hit's the spot".
The music that pumps out behind the vocals is a meat and potato's guitar-bass-drum onslaught that flails along bashing out riffs like loud as fuck hard rock bands are supposed to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...these guys are friends of the Whiskey Rebel. I know for a fucking fact that they've heard every guitar oriented kick ass band from Motorhead to Black Flag to Antiseen to Venom to whomever the fuck you wanna name. They've absorbed it all and boiled it down to simple, short, window-rattling blasts of rock and roll.
The key to this outfit is they sound actually inspired as compared to the parade of hundreds of psuedo-tough sounding mamby pamby touring bands trying to worm their way into a recording contract.
I haven't asked them lately, but I think the Bad Vibes would laugh in your friggin' face if you suggested they tone things down and set their caps on a career as a commercial alternative band...HAH.
This is the kind of practical, down to earth band that makes MTV "punk" bands seem like the load of sterile, CALIFORNIA-IZED pussies.
NOTE! I've been preaching for years the need for music and lyrics and vocals to blend and work together; the BAD VIBES suceed in this and whether you hate their views or their style or this genre of music altogether you'd best recognize that..or STAY AWAY from it. Don't even visit this website anymore..go back to your oh so sensitive and progressive Norah Jones download.
"Lose-lose situation" the opening track is an anthemic wallop of manly, honest existential woe as opposed to MTV kiddy-teen oriented crybaby "angst".
"All the right ways to do you wrong" is an instant classic too. "A Motherfucker called consequence" rocks like a smack in the head from a Les Paul..yet is as poetic as a well worded, crimson mask inspired wrestling promo: "I have my crosses to bear..they ain't for show..they ain't for fun".
There's no slow spots on this disc. If I have to dig to find fault with these guys to convince a few of you that I'm not just hyping my friends band..I'll say this..they maybe could've written a shorter "thank you" list. UUmm UUmm UUmm. Way out of control. That drags them down to about a 4 9/10th stars release out of a possible 5.
"the Radfords" s/t CD (self release).
I recently answered a question in an interview sent to the Netherlands about my opinion on contemporary punk rock. I sagely pointed out that 1) lots of bands who we lump into a "punk rock" category aren't pleased by the association one bit. I can't blame them. I further instructed our Euro-pal's that 2) If you want to hear the BEST punk or raw rock and roll (or what ever fucking name you want to call it) you need to forget about trying to discover worthy bands reading trendy magazines and figure out a way to seek out bands too original, too raw, too brash maybe..and too fucking GOOD to be covered by them. HEY....they are out there..you just have to find 'em. Like the "Dog Shit boys" from Finland..and the band under the microscope today from Regina, Saskatchewan Canada the Radfords.
The Radfords are as full of attitude as any band you've likely heard this year...even though it's likely you've never heard of them unless you're from the central Canadian wrasslin'/hockey/beer belt. They brag openly in their press statement about running another band out of town; they pride themselves on chaotic and unpredictable shows. They love to brag...they live to brag. They say they're the best..and beg you to knock a hypothetical fucking moose chip off their shoulder. UUURRRRRRppppp.
I have to really focus on a lot of the stuff I review here...but the Radfords are as comfy to listen to as it is to squat yer ass on a sofa you've already spilled enough beer on and blown enough farts into the cushions that you can relax and feel COMFORTABLE.
I think that last paragraph is grammatically incorrect, but SO WHAT?? You get my drift..if not, report to the TV "wiggles" web page.
This CD sounds like it was home recorded; good...that means more money the band can blow on beer. The sound quality is better than about 80-90% of home recorded bands. This outfit is a trio...guitar, bass, drums. The songs are medium to fast tempo basic rock and roll. Some songs have 3 chords...some 4. I actually didn't count..but it's a nice stripped down, unpretentious sound. The only "sample" I heard was a wrestling ring bell...and for all I know these guys used a real one.
Instant fave songs of mine are "greasy chops"...an ode to facial hair:
"greasy chops looking long and mean, greasy chops every little girls dream, greasy chops are more than sideburns greasy chops ladies wait your turn"
then there's the romantic "Valentine's day"
"hearts and flowers and cheap romance
go for dinner and some wine then take her to a dance
but my hands just go down in my pants"
Oh oh..this one might offend a few of you..then again it's not so simple.."Queers are less gay"
"even queers are less gay than you
they've got better clothes and smell better too
queers are less gay than you.."
Mention must be made of the song that celebrates their running that other band out of town..: "loser left town"
"loser put his tail between his legs
I gave him just 5 minutes to pack his bags
he ran so fast he put a hole in his shoe
the loser left town cause I told him to.."
My reason for quoting these songs is to show that the Radfords are about as unlikely to uncork a batch of angst filled alternative "relationship" songs as most of the bands I've been pals with for a long time. I'll quote one last number that sums them up damn well..."we're the best":
"well I'm rocking like GG and I strut like Flair
you say you hate me well baby I don't care
with your stupid clothes and your stupid hair.."
You can't be the best without declaring yourself to be so...that's one of my rules. Contact these guys at: theradfords.cjb.net
I'm a bit behind on reviews..I'll try to get caught up and ask Marla to update the "review" page very soon.