The Whiskey Rebel's Diary Archive
1-17-07 to 3-31-07
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since 05/28/01
03/31/07
A full, but odd day. Soon after arising I wound up dealing with a tarantula that had decided to make his home on the wall of our house right by the front door. That won't do. After my second cup of coffee I took a broom outside and waged war against it. I beat it to death..and left it swept out into the middle of the street.
It seemed black and hairy on the wall perched there and rather peaceful. When I smacked it a few times it seemed to experience a great deal of pain. It unclenched it's legs and sort of gave up..revealing a pink and bloody red core.
Hey, what are you gonna do? Flies and mice can be construed as harmless I suppose, but rats and fucking tarantula's need to be dealt with.
I did a good deal of homework and eventually made my way to the grocery store around 9:00 p.m. My cop car Merc ran fine heading down there, but wouldn't start when it was time to make the trip home.
No warning at all. I was stuck. I returned a bucket of ice cream I got for Marla for a refund and set out walking home.
I knew that at that hour on a Saturday what few people I know in this burg are planted on bar stools. Marla was at work in Austin, no other help was to be had and unfortunately very few and infrequent to reach cabs exist in this town. I've often wondered since living in this town if I could survive the walk from the core town square of bars to our home which is perched way the hell so high up a Texas hill country incline we're next to a grave yard placed there to take advantage of it's resistance to flooding.
The walk home would've finished me off a year ago. As a student I've been forced to get my legs back in shape. It was a pain in the ass and I wouldn't want to do it in 105 degree weather, but I made it home.
When I got there I played back a message on ye olde answering machine. It was Mark telling me about a Dual Exhaust show taking place at a bar about 3 blocks from where the Merc was stuck. I might've gone...but..no vehicle. I usually don't like going to shows I hear about at the last minute..and that seems to be the case most of the time since I pick up a local music fishwrap guide about once every five years.
Marla eventually got home. We were unable to start the Merc. Needs a battery or new starter I guess. Fuck....I have zero mechanical skills. Makes me appreciate Marla. She probably knows more about auto repair than 90% of you he-men out there.
Got home and began drinking and watching the Ken Burn's jazz documentary. I watched 4 hours or so covering the years 1942-1954 or so, most of which had a be-bop back track churning along.
Old Burn's really snubbed the R&B I love from this period..referring to Louis Jordan as a "novelty" act. FUCK that stuck up egghead. I resolved that 1) I like Thelonius Monk 2) Charlie Parker bores me after about 30 minutes and 3) DAMN! what a bunch of rip-off junkie losers jazz musicians of this period were.
Burn's really ripped into the beat poets as a bunch of misguided clowns who completely misunderstood the be-bop artists. I was surprised. Oh well. Fuck 'em all. Gimme R&B and C&W and movies and cars and architecture from that era; you can fucking stuff your precious jazz horse shit. Except for T. Monk and Sun Ra of course ( whom was never even mentioned !!).
03/27/07
Only about 5 more weeks of classes, then finals and finally a fatassed break.
I'll be registering for my Fall classes in a couple weeks. A couple tough ones are awaiting me, including the Senior creative writing study and the final grandiose History seminar.
I got a letter in the mail notifying me that I'm to be awarded at a ceremony ( obviously with other awardee's ) the "achievement in History" certificate. Oughta look good hanging on the wall next to my Dean's list award.
In the spirit of looking for ways to increase the size of our "carbon footprints" Marla and I joined the new Sam's Club in town. We're hoping as a couple to vastly increase our consumption in general. We chose our purchases thoughtfully taking care to buy products packed in difficult to recycle material such as plastic and Styrofoam. We searched the store for produce that was out of season and transported long distances. We purchased bulk recyclable diapers...I'll fill 'em on weekends and during Summer break. We picked up a couple extra appliances and plan on doing our bit by running them constantly and heedlessly.
We bought extra meat, butt wipe and of course junk food we'll turn on the neighborhood kids to "do our part" as members of the global village. When no one was looking we flicked bougars on the organic vegetables.
We deliberately held back from buying a few things we needed in order to discipline ourselves in the need to make extra trips and thereby consume more fossil fuels.
Oh yeah...I bought a brand new, shiney axe I'm going to take on outings this Spring and Summer to State parks and National forests.
I'm sure glad that we were inspired to do all this by that attention seeking ( they're probably fishing for a book deal ) couple in NYC that gave up butt wipe and diapers for their child.
Oh yeah..one more thing. We drove seperate vehicles to Sam's Club to compensate for any wacko carpooler's. Just doing our share.
3/24/07
"Carbon neutral" can KISS MY ASS.
What short memories humanoids have. How many times over the ages have individuals pushed the panic button and ran around acting like frantic boobs predicting some sort of doomsday? Do you know? Have you thought about it?
Please allow me to remind any hand wringing carbon neutral loving, gloom and doom sob sisters that imminent doom is not a new thing at all.
Are you aware of all the instances in which people over the ages have shucked their worldly possessions and ambled naked to a chosen spot upon the latest day of supposed doom? Have you forgotton about all the people who went over the edge during the cold war, building fallout shelters and drilling their family's in survival maneuvers? Do you even remember Y2K and all the accompanying crybaby whining?
If we're gonna die, I prefer to go with DIGNITY. The fools giving up toilet paper and public transportation and other modern conveniences seem like pathetic losers to me. No style..gullible as the dopes who always seem to fall for the latest crisis.
Could our planet be annihilated sometime soon? Oh yeah; the nukes could start flying anytime. A strain of flu could decimate the population. A meteor could do some really serious damage.
Global warming? I'm not a scientist but the whole charade stinks to high fucking heaven to me, based on the sort of loonies who are espousing it. I think the whole thing has been cooked up by environmentalists with an agenda. It's a sad truth that what I consider to be admirable "causes" as causes go...concern for the environment and animals..have been commandeered by extremists as uncompromising and single issue minded as abortion clinic bombers.
The propensity for people to blindly jump onto the doomsday bandwagon is high due to the fact that so many people have had their heads softened by an incredible barrage of conspiracies. The conspiracies come to us at a faster rate these days due to the fast ability to communicate via the internet. Throughout my lifetime I've always been aware of fringe groups and their wacky theories ( flat earth, phony-moon landing allegations, Joseph Smith's invisable slates ) but there seem to be more floating around sucking more people in than ever before.
I've thought for at least 20 years that you can never under estimate the blind stupidity of the humanoid, but I've got to say that the ease at which so many people seem to get sucked into believing nonsense is shocking.
People worldwide in large numbers seem to have lost sight of the fact that you can get a batch of scientists or "experts" to authentic any nutty theory you can come up with. Surveys and polls should be accepted only after the agenda of those behind it are scrutinzed. Eerie coincidences often occur that have no bearing on any event that may happen in the future.
The people you should be suspicious of above all are POLITICIANS, members of the MEDIA, CLERGY and acolytes of all faiths, people with unlimited time on their hands ( such as trust fund types ), ACTORS and other public figures who stand to gain from getting their name out there in the media and of course teachers, union spokesmen, lawyers, etc.
The fact that you see something on TV or read about a developement in the newspaper doesn't mean SHIT. As far as internet sources go, even the most fun to read are frequently wrong ( Wikipedia is a fine example ).
Yes, there's all sorts of behind the scenes shit going on politically. Yes, a degree of historical revision is healthy. Yes, "reality" shows are often amongst the most phony scripted events broadcasted. Yes, many, many "holy" people for many years didn't believe in the faith they represented. Yes, cops do sometimes work over helpless people. You are an UTTER FUCKING IDIOT if you think for one second that all the lies and bullshit and crookedness are produced by people from ONE SIDE OF THE FENCE or other.
What's my agenda? I think I make it clear that I'm a goddamned hedonist out to enjoy myself as much as I can. I'm naturally suspicious of peoples true understanding and commitment to "causes". I write about this all the time. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I'm gonna have a good time while I slowly, methodically try to figure it all out. I personally believe that a large number of conspiracy and doomsday theorists know damned good and well that they're stretching the truth. I've learned through the course of my life that quite a few of the people who get sucked into believing their horseshit are sincere, overly trusting souls who are being manipulated.
I've worked on crooked salescrews, been in a couple pro wrestling locker rooms, attended more than my share of revival meetings and managed to outlive quite a few doomsdays. This global warming one makes me want to leave an extra deep carbon "footprint" just out of spite.
In the end, if there's something to it and many of us DIE and I am one of them who does..at least I'll do so with some sort of dignity. What the hell, we're all going to die anyway.
OOPS. I forgot...some of you have been conned into thinking you won't.
3/22/07
Remember any of my columns or diary bits about what I refer to as pathological liars? I'm not going to rehash them here tonight. Wise and perceptive people ( such as true crime author Ann Rule ) understand them very, very well and realize that most people even with good educations don't seem to be able to spot them. I learned the hard way through association with a few. I try to be aware of people I'm around so I don't get suckered again. I was told the other day ( literally..if you're a friend whom I've talked to about this type in the past, hey..it's a completely different guy )by a person close to me that at their place of work a patological liar was outed who had a very high position in the company. It amazed the people who discovered the web of lies he had concocted. Even though they might know about "sociopath's" like Ted Bundy they had fallen for this guys line just like most people do, probably because when somebody always says appropriate things and dresses nicely and seems to know when to react emotionally in a convincing way...most people simply switch off their bullshit detectors.
The lies this guy told included lots of stories about his past military servich which seems to be a frequent choice of pathological liars including one in my past.
He was very close to being in charge of a lot of people and a lot of assets.
Keep one eye open for these people. They can really buddy up to you and worm their way into a close relationship with you. Another favorite common tactic of theirs is posing as a noble defender of you or someone close to you. This is a way of attaching themself to you. They know how to push your buttons and get you to emotionally entangle yourself with them out of a desire to match what in truth is only a calculated concern for you.
These people often graduate from "innocent" lies about what they ate for breakfast or maybe an experience in which they defended you to a mutual acquantance who was badmouthing you ( yeah, sure) to poisoning "loved ones", setting fires ( the most destructive arsonist in history fit this profile ), mindfucking kids behind their parents back, senior abuse and of course murder. They don't all kill of course...I don't mean to imply that.
Most of them have one thing in common; when they're caught and exposed they leave a whole lot of people's mouths hanging open in disbelief. Intelligent people like you and me who simply got suckered by their convincing acting abilities.
Whiskey Rebel's tip for dealing with suspected pathological liars. If you're at the stage of checking one out, don't let them suspect a thing. You don't owe them the chance to cover their tracks. Play it dumb and track what they tell you. When it's time to get them out of your life, be RUTHLESS as you need to be. Cut them out completely. The more data you've compiled the easier this will be for you probably.
Cut 'em off for good. Tell everybody in your circle about them. A few probably won't believe you, just like every sociopath doing time for murder has his or her rash of defenders. I've never known of one who really changed for the better. They are thee ultimate timewasters of the world.
3/20/07
I was happy to wind up with a 96/100 on my Roman History course. If I survive another year of German and the rash of freshman courses I have to take I'll be graduating with a History degree. That's my area of study..that's what really matters in my book. My area of interest is U.S. History, but I'm required to of course complete some non-U.S courses. This one has worked out well. We've been studying the food and drink of Roman's in their golden age lately. It's actually more fun than a class should be.
The Roman's didn't have tomatoe's or potatoes or oranges during this period, but they had a huge variety of foods beyond that and probably ate a much healthier diet than most modern people since they sucked down more vegetables and grains and hadn't yet developed McDonald's "special sauce" or other fastfood flavoring devices.
They considered mice a real delicacy and were known to consume large numbers of them in a sitting ( fried ). As my Prof. pointed out, modern people eat a lot of weird shit too like snails. "Why not mice"? as he put it.
I manged to get an 85 on my German midterm, which is a miracle. He must've used some sort of curve. I love the guy. Again, as I wrote earlier here I had the material down pretty well but there wasn't nearly enough time. It's pretty clear that I'll at least pass the damned course even if I collapse in the final, meaning I'll be starting on a 3rd semester next August. Hopefully I'll be getting the same instructor. There's more emphasis on vocabulary and reading as you proceed from what I hear which is fine with me. Grammer is my weakness.
Yeah, I've learned how to cram all those vocab words into my memory. I just clear my mind of all details including all phone numbers, computer login info, my friends, social life, avoid whiskey except on weekends, music, sporting events on TV that rely on statistics, communicating with relatives, reading any books at all for pleasure, etc. It's easy. You memorize 150 new words per week and when you're done studying sit in a chair in a quiet room with a couple cats ( whose names you've forgotten ) guzzling 6 hours worth of beer in 2 while playing PS2 games to relax you ( of course forgetting the game control's button functions every now and then ). When I hear people talking in public or on the shuttle bus I get out a pair of my hot pink ear plugs and block their dialogue out. I attempt to induce vocabulary building dreams as I drift off to sleep at night. See, it's easy to learn another language.
See...it's easy!
I wrote 9 sentences on my test describing my last birthday in detail making only 2 slight grammatical errors. Obviously the next course will have us writing entire pages and reading lengthy articles. It kinda sneaks up on you.
I sure haven't felt like I've missed out on current events in the news. Whenever I tune in to a news show for a few minutes it's the same old partisan crap. It's absolutely fucking amazing to me how there's supposed to be such a big interest in the far away election, but nothing of consequence being said. It's meaningless posturing with the exception of extremists who stand no real chance of nomination.
What gets me is the fact that people who follow politics for fun find nothing wrong with this; they want to see their candidates straddle the fence and hem and haw and avoid above all making any incorrect statements that can be converted into sound bites by the opposition to send their campaign on a way way trip to the shithouse in Vermont Howard Dean wound up in last time.
The hope is if their candidate waffles enough and spouts "sincere" ideological statements and avoids specific binding stances that they can appeal to a broad enough base within their own party to survive.
It's a game of survivor; how can meaningless fluff impress so many humanoids for another year and a fucking half? The anal exams the media gives these folks is just too far gone. They can't say a fucking thing with any amount of ballsiness or substance. They know this. They're engaged not in a contest to share their ideas but to avoid having to. The winner will be he or she whom makes the next to last mistake in front of a microphone.
My Political Science class had a guest speaker; a bona fide political insider specialist from Harvard whose written books and is well known.
When he took questions, I managed to ask him if he thought we were going to hear any substance in this L-O-N-G campaign or if all of the candidates were being coached to avoid anything that could be a campaign doomsday soundbite.
He said "I think you're on to something there!" and nodded his approval.
There's your two party system. It's not just the other party you don't support that engages in this ridiculous backbone-less, dickbone-less fist pumping. It's YOUR party too.
Well, unless you support a tiny alternative party that supports a candidate with no chance of being elected what so fucking ever.
ICK! How can you stand sucking up to these assholes? I'd rather eat mice with the Romans.
03/19/07
I've developed a new beer drinking habit. This outstrips in importance the negative new trend over the last few years of my dousing my lovely goatee with beer every other sip ( an absolutely uncontrollable phenomena..I can announce out loud "OK..HERE I GO..I WON'T spill beer in my beard..and I will anyway..).
As you may know, one of my quirks is I don't walk to the refrigerator for beers one at a time; I get two..which is ideal..and sometimes more when I'm in a hurry like I seem to be these days as a busy student. I find myself nightly, compulsively grabbing about 4 beers at a time..and then for some reason automatically and confidently popping them all open at once.
I'm not drinking as a result any more or less. Why have I started doing this?
This is a matter worthy of thought. I assumed I became set in my beer drinking ways years ago; but as usual it proves to be a challenging and frequently mysterious hobby the subtle wonders of which non-drinkers will never experience.
I took a shit on an out of control toilet on campus. It had one of those new fangled auto-flush devices and I found it flushing and releasing a jet stream of water to bathe portions of my bum every 20 seconds or so. Was it deliberate? Should I be thankful? I didn't enjoy the experience much I've gotta admit. The only liquid I want on my ass is from anal seepage.
How 'bout you? Well, to each his own.
I avoid that toilet now. I shower often enough. Water just makes the buttwipe ball up and stick to my rim. Urp.
03/18/07
I don't think I'm dead..am I? ( YES PHILIP YOU ARE )
It was Spring break week and many of my college classmates crowded destinations like South Padre Island.
More power to 'em. As for me, I packed my suitcase ( of Bud ) and a duffle bag of clothes and headed to Dallas for some late night, sprawled out in your shorts on the bedspread drinking. I watched stupid TV and threw beer cans around the room as they were emptied.
It's a good way for me to get my head ( what's left of it ) together.
Oh yeah; I played in the SouthWest collegiate chess championship tournament too. It was part of an event that attracted 1,500+ K-12 kids and their parents and annoying siblings. There had to be 6,000 people in that hotel there to play or watch kids play chess.
There were 44 of us college students a floor up above locking horns. It was one of the strongest tournaments I've participated in before or after my 23 year chess "retirement". There were several of the absolute best U.S. chess players under 25 including several "titled" masters.
I wound up with 3 1/2 points out of a possible 5. Pretty good, really. My one loss was to a young Texas master who praised my fighting comeback spirit after a mid game mistake. I almost whupped him...not quite.
I was most proud of my tenacious motel drinking; a good deal of my TV watching that accompanied it was directed at some of the most juvenile horseshit programming ever. I want to describe it in full, but am too drunk and tired right now.
Fuck SXSW and their $150 bracelets. I'm a chess player first. All my other interests can wait in line. Except for the innocuous cubicle-like motel rooms of America with their
bland, unimaginative, alluring decor.
I've got to post more here tomorrow.......I need to go into detail....
03/12/07
I've completed 1 1/2 semesters ( required by the Texas State Legislature for all students ) of a Sophomore level Political Science survey course. I've gotten A's on every test I've taken and expect to complete the course with a couple more.
I hate politics, but what the hell..I've listened to enough talk radio over the years to inform me of all the lefty-righty arguments on most of the issues. Factoring that contemporary "knowledge" with my basic understanding of political history as a history major and I guess I'm bound to do pretty well.
I could never see myself studying it any further though; it's too goddamned frustrating. All of the issues are discussed rigidly within the bounds of the two party system that has created most of the problems in the first place!
The first few lectures of the symester consisted of the Prof. ( I like her by the way..and think she does a good job of keeping her own opinions out of the mix ) chalking up positions on issues ranging from the political left and right on a huge blackboard ( yunno, far left on the extreme left of the actual blackboard..moderate positions were marked in the middle ).
After a few days of pinpointing where all the political notables weigh in on this scale, I raised my hand and remarked to the class that as a registered Libertarian, I had no place on the blackboard; the Professor agreed.
Guess what..NOBODY CARED. So what..I'm used to it. To be completely honest, I'm not even in agreement with most Libertarians over quite a few issues.
As I've read issue oriented chapters in my textbook I've noticed a distinct lack of FUCKING COMMON SENSE. Just tonight, 28 pages on the "no child left behind" program that is aspiring to have 100% ( NOTE! not 99.9% mind you ) of U.S. students completely literate, graduating together with locked arms...NO DROPOUTS...with the school campuses completely drug and violence free. School systems that can't reach that goal will be penalized and lose funding and in some cases the schools will be revamped from the ground up.
28 pages of rhetoric by teachers associations, school boards, the Dept of Education. Senators, etc..meant to completely explore this topic. Where's the problem here? It's OBVIOUS. You'll NEVER get 100% of students to be literate much less graduate..probably 90% is too high. Use some COMMON SENSE. "Drug and violence free"? How noble. They're not going to be anymore successful at that then they have been in the incredibly expensive and idiotic "war on drugs".
Neither of the 2 parties want's to be the one to stand up and point out the ridiculousness of this sort of goal. Hell, plenty of students don't give a fucking rats ass...plenty more are fucking dumb as posts. Add to that the ones who try but simply fail.
One more thimg; this comprehensive textbook didn't include ONE WORD of education of kids being partly the responsability of parents; NOT ONE WORD.
Here's a common sense suggestion: let's start holding our teachers accountable to raising test scores significantly for the percentage of students that PARENTS deliver to school regularly with homework completed. If the parent can't induce their child to cooperate in class and show up most of the time and do the work, I suggest this. If the kid is 15 or less, keep working to improve the situation. 16 or over...the kid's OUT. Take the funds spent on the dropouts and 1) educate the remaining students better 2) build a few more schools oriented to job skills or the arts. 3) This would lower the number of students in each classroom.
Quit trying to educate people who aren't receptive; when you do you drag down the achievers.
Then there's the ever popular issue of a military draft. Some righties would just love that..they think it builds charachter. I dunno. Lately it's been anti-war types advocating a draft as a clever reverse logic "stunt" to turn people with draft age kids against the war.
My common sense says this: WHO want's a drafted army fighting for us? You'd think only an extreme idealist from one side or the other would be so blind as to not understand the fact that not everybody's cut out for military service. You hear lot's of discussion about whether women would be drafted, blah blah blah...but the bottom line is, about 1/3rd of the CLOWNS I see on the shuttlebus going to school in the morning I wouldn't trust to play with plastic swords much less control sophisticated weaponry.
As far as immigration goes, well it's a delicate issue..I have mixed feelings on this one. I say the common sense solution is this: ENFORCE THE LAWS ON THE BOOKS..with a special emphasis on the long neglected mass prosecution of employers hiring illegals. It's the big pockets guys from both parties who are blocking this. They love cheap labor. Provide a period of 6 months to 1 year for employers to revamp their hiring practices. Then, GO AFTER THEM. Without exception.
This will either solve the problem to a large degree or light a fire under some asses in Washington to get off the fence.
Global warming...do you want my COMMON SENSE take on it? Are you ready? If the leading activist for this dangerous threat to our planet is fucking Al Gore..well, it's got to be a con job.
On a different note, I notice that some officials from Iran have come out against the new movie "300" which is a dark looking ( from what I can tell ) comic book take with sexual overtones on the battle of Thermopylae ( sp?). I don't know whose going to bitch louder about the film being a distortion of reality, distressed Iranians or history professors. If I went to see movies I might go, but if I did this week I'd take my chances on the new Zodiac killer film..although whaddya wanna bet it's full of inaccuracies too?
I just reached Superstar status on PS2 Tiger Woods golf..been working at it since 2005. Well, actually I started from scratch again in August. I beat Sunday Tiger sporting a red shirt. I tried to get my onscreen charachter to look like me, but it's impossible to get it fat and old enough ( handsome and intelligent too ). The "me" fella breakdances a lot though and wears pimp clothing. Gonna go try out my new driver.
3/10/07
The Motherfucker had really bad teeth to match his crazed stare. His backpack stank like it was loaded either with severed body parts, or a 10 pound bag of garlic wrapped in manure.
I saw a cartoon image of the fella in an old Beevis and Butthead episode ( the guy was some sort of killer the authorities were looking for I think ).
It was Spring break 1975..I was 18 years old and headed from Eugene Oregon to Portland for my week off. I drove an olive green Chevy Malibu...a four door ( 1972?).
He was a hitchhiker. I hitchhiked quite a bit back in those days and picked many of them up.
It was pretty stupid to do so in retrospect I suppose. Yes, 9 times out of 10 you got a decent ride or picked up somebody who provided decent company, but that 10th time..WHHEW!
I was a fair sized man in those days...190-220 pounds on my 6' 2" frame. I wasn't capable of dealing with the potential danger though. Lot's of petite women hitchhiked or picked up "riders" in those days. It's always been a mistake when human beings put trust in one another. Well, at least in my lifetime. A few years earlier Edmund Kemper down in Santa Cruz Cali. earned the moniker "Co-ed killer" slaughtering ( amongst other victims ) 6 hitchhiker girls. One of the reasons the cops couldn't find him was the fact that a couple other killers with a similar m.o. were operating in his vicinity. It wasn't safe to hitch hike then, or pickup riders and it isn't now.
Go ahead though...see for yourself. When your forearms are hacked off and you're left for dead, remember: "I TOLD YOU SO!"
Anyway, that was the very beginning of my Spring break. No beaches, no MTV designated destination sites. Just several nights of getting fucked up. I think I drove to the Oregon coast with a couple friends for a day trip and drank lots of beer along the way, smoked alot and laughed at everybody we saw.
A large number of my current fellow students are headed to ski resorts or perhaps South Padred Island. Those sort of pickup spots were popular back in '75, but I wanted nothing to do with them then..and now I'm of course too old and too married to even consider going to those places.
I'm not envious of those who go though. The mating ritual has always disgusted me. Yes, before I was married some of my friends and I occasionally did stupid things that contradict what I'm saying here, but I hate the mating ritual and can proudly say I did before I graduated from high school for the most part.
Nowadays I'd rather pick up some screwy, demented hitchhiker with a nervous tick than be within 100 miles of South Padre during Spring break. Yeah, yeah...I'm too old to be there..well I wasn't always; but I've always felt the same way about it even when I was 19.
03/09/07
This diary has been deader than Grandpa's dick. I've had no fucking time to post here at all except to maybe whine for a few short paragraphs. I've got to be in the right frame of mind to enjoy my own kvetching.
Why? a fucking murderous schedule of midterm examinations that wouldn't be too difficult to deal with if I didn't at the same time have to deal with daily childish busywork for my retarded "mystery" class I'll share with the world one day.
I got an "A" weeks ago in the first b.s. tard class test. The second one was scheduled for a day before a really serious history course I value. I chose to spend about 3 hours studying for the b.s. class and 10+ hours for the History midterm.
Wouldn't you know it..I only got a "76" in the dork class...and questioned my judgement until I got the top score in the History class.
Wednesday was the peak of insanity around here. I had TWO midterms a couple hours apart. My toughest classes, too...German and Roman History.
I wore myself to a frazzle studying beginning on the previous Saturday. The Roman Identification quiz in the morning went good; we were assigned an essay question to write 4-5 pages about at home that was due today. The German class was another matter.
It was a total aborted, traumatic mess for me and clearly most of my classmates.
It was way the hell too long to cover in 50 minutes. Most of us had to start guessing 15 minutes before our time was up to even complete it. I talked to a guy in a morning class of this Prof. who took it; he said 17 out of 20 of their class didn't finish it.
Luckily, the Prof. is a good teacher and a reasonable man rather than a stubborn twat. He couldn't exactly say what he's doing to fix the test ( grade on a curve I suppose ) but he's working on it. He better....I wouldn't be surprised if I got a 65-70 on the damned thing. I was really prepared and am on top of things believe it or not in this class...so...we'll see what happens.
Oh well...at least I wasn't the dude who got a "06" on the History exam!
No curve will pull his prick out of the campfire.
I've been in recovery mode since I got home this afternoon. Can't make it to a bar. No strength. I started studying some chess but forced myself away from it.
I'll stick to PS2 Tiger Woods golf and a couple movies whilst I drink with wreckless abandon for the first time in weeks.
It's ok for me to drink nightly during the school week with regularity, style and persistance, but not with wreckless abandon. I'm surrounded every day by 18-20 year olds who are fucking up their college experience with amateur, peer pressure induced drinking and drugging just like you see on TV. Of course, I did the same back when I was their age; that's why I'm back to finish the job now.
Do I lecture them about staying straight and studying rather than partying? HELL NO. I don't care. 1) Maybe they'll do better long run by failing and then trying again a few years down the road. 2) are you serious? you think I'm some fucking do-gooder now just because I had my picture taken with the Dean and hold back from guzzling too many shots of whiskey on school nights? HAH!
On the other hand, I talk honestly to quite a few fellow History students many of whom have their shit together and are older ranging from their 20's to even some older than me.
The braindead sorority cunts after their "MRS" degree don't talk to me often and I don't approach them ever. I think most of the sensible students I talk to feel the same way about 'em.
Oh well, I need to put it all out of my mind for this upcoming Spring break week and maybe come back here in a few hours and yammer about something entirely non-academic.
Here I come Tiger...
3/04/07
Last night I felt like a frigging sissy. The Texas Stud passed a pint of Evan Williams across a table at me...and I had to sashay and mince my refusal to take a drink with him.
I hope he doesn't hate my guts. I think he understands though.
I had my reasons...and told him what they were; I felt like a fool; a lightweight; a gutless wimp. Yeah, I'm supposed to be the "Whiskey Rebel", right?
It ties in with why Marla and I have been pre-cooking and cramming food into the frig. Is a hurricane imminent? No, just a pair of mind numbing midterms for me on Wednesday. I have 5 classes to be concerned about and the mid terms for the two toughest are on the same damned day. My misfortune. Oh well, boo fucking hoo.
I suppose I could lower my standards. I suppose I could just assume the attitude that most of my classmates take and "do my best" in some sort of mediocre manner.
No. FUCK THAT. I repeat: FUCK THAT.
I will bust my ass and try to kick butt in both my German and Roman History midterms. The German mid-term represents my surpassing the point at which I threw in the towel on learning the german language in 1975. That changed my life I supposed. I wound up changing my major several times to avoid a foreign language ( oops..a p.c. error there..it's called a "modern" language in todays lefty Uni-spiel ). I never earned a degree..Marla became pregnant with Elvis...and I spent a quarter century working in one shithole workplace after another. And, what's more...here I am again as a result.
Quite a few of my German classmates are good bohemian sorts of people who don't take it all as seriously as I do. They have their lives ahead of them as I point out; I already blew it once back in the 70's...I've got to do my best. I'm an anti-role model...don't blowoff your homework or you'll wind up like me. They chuckle at that...but it's really true.
I'm deadly serious in that class. A stick is wedged right up my ass...to an extent. Luckily I have a great Prof. who is funny, understanding and tolerant of smutty dialogue I spew out as a result of too little sleep.
My Roman history course is pleasant in terms of me enjoying the subject matter. I was delighted as fuck to get an email from ol' Duke from the Tunnelrats a while back; he's a brainiac...the sort I understand who can combine debauchery in his personal life with intellectual persuits. He really learned to think like a goddamned Roman, that's for sure. I'm trying my damndest.
Will I pull it off? I don't know.
One thing I DO know is that in these tense days of round the clock preperation I don't need to suffer through a long morning-afternoon hangover. So, this brings me back to my turning down whiskey from my good Brother the Texa stud. I can drink beer in vast qunatities and be ok to study the next day, but once I open the door to hard liquor, forget it. I almost went to see Dual Exhaust down the street on Friday night, but was too burned out from my classes and raftload of study. Uh uhh.
Saturday night was a letting down of the hair before this week of studious focus. I was studying at the library 2 hours after I woke up after it all though. I haven't missed a night of drinking all semester. It's been mostly beer though. Judge me as you will.
I've had to alter my usual pace and drink the beer I'm going to drink really fast in the last 2 hours before I hit the rack. It's not my normal way, but it seems to please my psyche and leave me academically capable. I'm working on a rapid beer drunk right now which will be followed by 4-4 1/2 hours of sleep and a full brace of classes. No whiskey tonight either.
No phone calls, no TV and little play with the dumbasses ( cats ). Discipline.
It's possible that the essay portion of my Roman history exam will be made a take home paper. I sure as fuck hope so. No problem. I love thinking about and studying the ways of the Romans who were berzerkers when it came to wild, blood drenched entertainment and thrills. I hereby pray to the god Dionysus that this will be the case. I want to do them justice...and Duke and maybe Mr. Ed too. Uurrpp.
02/25/07
HEY! FUCK! W figured out our email problem..which has likely been causing emails to be returned to us since December or so. If you replied to an original email sent from us, your email likely got returned. Why? Because our server altered our old email address..which wasn't updated by us properly. If you send a fresh new email to WHSKYREB@ CENTURYTEL.NET you should get through..just like a couple people we sent test emails to just have. DON'T reply to an old one we sent you.
GO AHEAD. Isn't it time you emailed me anyway? Sorry for any chaos.
Today was Ric Flair's birthday, which means also of course that it was Marla's birthday too. Happy B-day darling.
We went to dinner with Elvis and his fiance. I ate fajitas served on a portable grill at the table and avoided ( wisely..I'm learning ) the deadly looking Tex-Mex bean side dish.
I managed to pull out a goddamned "97" ( out of 100 ) in my Political Science class with minimal study. I've got two more tests this week..one of 'em damned tough. My worst day of the semester will be March 7th. I have tests in my two toughest courses hours apart: German and "daily life in the Roman empire". Oh well. The Roman history course actually will be continued on to the 9th as well.
I'll be fucking ready for Spring break the week after.
Marla told me to pick out a chess tournament for the weekend at the end of our break the 17th and 18th. I picked a real goddamned lulu. I'm going to a hotel in Dallas to compete in the SW Collegiate championship. YEAH....I checked with the tournament director. I qualify...there's no age restriction. At the same time in the hotel there'll be something like 1,600 scholastic players from Kindergarten through High school. The Collegiate tourney seems to be fairly small...only attracting about 25 players over the last few years.
I'll be there sporting a Texas State "bobcat" T-shirt of some sort.
This is a tournament I'm playing in simply because I can. Well, also because it'll be good to get away and clear my mind.
Many players my age fear playing young players. I say, FUCK THAT. College players aren't really young by chess standards. It'll be a break from 9 year old geniuses who'll be competing in their own sections.
Incidentally, do I have "school spirit"? Probably not in the sickening sense. I realize nobody at the University gives a shit about a chess player representing our school at some college chess event. It's not a chess oriented school, although University of Texas at Dallas grants several full scholarships to strong chess players including the winner of the high school event held in synch with this collegiate extravaganza. There's probably a lurking out of state resident or foreign player here at Texas State, but I've yet to meet 'em. I'll bear the torch as well as I can as a graybeard late bloomer. .
02/21/07
I've suspected for a few months that for some strange reason email sent to my given address here has been being bounced back to some sender's.
The thing that pisses me off is that I get email every day. Whatever the problem is it's only happening in some instances to a few people some of the time..although possibly to some people ALL of the time. WHY?
Hell, I might have time to persue it, but I'm really going whacko trying to keep up with my school bullshit. My memory is maxed out and my brain is not working very well when it comes to non-school functions.
I show occasional symptoms of deep confusion bordering on insanity...I'm serious. I stood in front of a pen display in a store tonight for 15 minutes. I COULDN"T MAKE MY MIND UP which pens to buy. It seemed very important at the time that I select the right ones though.
I can't decide what food to buy at the store or how to prepare it. Since I can't eat at restaurants often this is bad.
I'm usually by nature a very decisive person, but this mental fog accompanying my full load of classes has me hemming and hawing and confused over mundane crap.
I entered a 4 consecutive Sunday chess club event a couple weeks ago; I won the first game although I felt I didn't play all that well. I fought for 5 hours in the 2nd game and had a clear winning advantage in the endgame only to make the most incredible blunder I've made in a tournament game since I came out of retirement a few years ago. It was like my brain simply reached it's limit...and POOF! I'm withdrawing from the event...I clearly can't handle competitive chess at my peak ability until I let go of some of the studious bilge in my brain.
The phone answering machine could flash for days indicating somebody called and I'd never be aware of it right now. Ah, but I got a fantastic score on my first serious German quiz. My brain is bursting with thoughts, factoids and even dates concerning the Roman empire. I got an "A" in the first test in my hated mystery class. My grades will mostly be ok if I can keep from flipping my frigging wig away from school handling silly b.s. like changing my shorts and trying to remember what temperature to heat items in the oven I've prepared dozens of time.
I'm gung ho about my classes in spite of this. I'm not really complaining. I'm more in shock from the realization of how feeble my efforts would be dealing with typical day to day stuff if I HAD THE TIME for it.
Luckily I realize that it's only a temporary condition. My classes will be over for better or worse in a couple months or so.
Meanwhile, if you've sent me email and haven't gotten a reply, get in touch again. I need to know how widespread the problem is. I have plenty of time for idle email chit chat since it doesn't tax my brain or memory.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot; one of the weird quirks I've noticed myself going through is beer related. Usually I buy an assortment of corporate beers..whatever's on sale or strikes my fancy. That's the way I've been for 30 years +. I just noticed that for a couple weeks now I've only been buying Budweiser. It's like I can't expend the extra mental energy to opt to drink anything else. There's nothing wrong with Bud. It's one of my regulars, but I usually have an assortment of beers in my frig.
Am I losing it..? Maybe I'll ask what's her name...or the guy that's lived with us for a long frigging time ( what's his name..) or does he still? Did he move out? I haven't seen him around much..Hnh?
02/17/07
Shit. I just walked outside to gaze at the damned stars as I often do early in the morning and found myself confronting 3 deer. They were about 30-40 feet away just right across the street in the frat-boy rental house yard. I stood calmly and stared the lead deer down for a couple minutes and then walked back here inside. They must've found something good to eat in the damned lawn. For some reason I didn't want to spook them.
I just finished watching a Von Erich's WCCW documentary DVD. Did you know, Kevin Von Erich ( Adkisson ) the only surviving Brother was born within about 5 weeks of me. His attitude about the fate of his family is rather deep. He points out that if you were from many other places in the world it wouldn't be that big a deal for you to have lost even more family members. He doesn't jabber silly rhetoric..he observes in the documentary that his Brothers lived large and packed several years of living into each one. Also, that it doesn't get easier to adjust to the loss, it gets worse with time rather than better. You just move forward and do the best you can to deal with it.
The documentary showed him touring the old Sportatorium in Dallas one final time before it was demolished. I'm usually pretty critical of human behavior, but I have to admit he took it all in stride...or sure seemed to at least. I'd like to meet the man..
It's a topnotch film effort. The deaths of many other non Adkisson's are gone into including Bruiser Brody. Gary Hart steals the show..what a classy man. Truly a wise elder.
One thing not mentioned in the film is the fact that the Sportatorium used to be known years before as the home of the Big "D" Jamboree. Hank Sr. sang there..so did Elvis, Tubb, Cash, Patsy, Haley, Gene Vincent, etc. It was a haven for country music and then rock and roll before housing a great wrestling promotion. It was like a Ryman auditorium for Dallas.
I bet Jerry Lawler never booked Memphis wrestling into the Ryman though?
Thank you Ted for sending me a copy. I'm sure I'm gonna watch the damned thing over and over with a lot of guests over the years. Those of you who don't plan on visiting should get a copy right away.
02/15/07
Finally, a cause worthy of my support! Have you ever been trapped inside some airplane stuck on the ground, cramped, worried and needing to piss or shit, with no explanation ever being offered? I have. Oh yeah, sometimes the pilot will courteously announce to the passengers what the problem is, but not always. I remember one particular flight to Vegas in which we were stuck for 45 minutes with a loudmouthed self styled gambling "expert" a few feet away blathering every minute, tedious detail of his vacation plans and how to win at the tables to his drunken crew. I've been trapped on runways for too long ( without explanation ) in the crossfire of several screaming babies too...ICCKKK. The way it works, if you do start asking questions even politely demanding answers they've got the right to label you in need of anger management. You have NO RIGHTS.
I'm not afraid of flying in itself ( in spite of a near death experience long ago in Alaska). I'm prepared to fall out of the sky and die in a firey ruin if that's what's meant to be. I've never been angered when planes I'm a passenger in have been forced to change plans..once leaving me in a mystery location motel. I AM however in constant fear when on an airplane that I'm going to be stuck for endless hours on the tarmac with a planeload of humanoids. That is a misery worse than death itself. If you don't know why, flip through the backpages of this multi-year diary for edification.
A group of passengers who were trapped for a lot longer than I've ever been are trying to establish some basic rights for passengers. It seems to be a matter of commen sense to me.
I've signed the petition attached to this link below; read the damned
thing and if you agree sign it on-line. http://www.petitiononline.com/airline/petition.html
02/13/07
Marla and I had a pre-Valentines day dinner out at an Italian restaurant that's part of a chain, but not too bad in spite of that. As we ate I told her about the girls on the shuttle-bus.
Don't get me wrong; I talk to a lot of women on campus..hot looking ones, plain looking older women, etc. I don't have anything against women in general. I suppose I prefer strong women with individualist streaks..but hey, I'm only talking to them and I don't turn my back on any who wish to converse. I'm cognizent of the fact that I must appear to be an old, ugly, obese monster to many of them ( just like their Father's, Heh! ).
The ones who never talk to me are the ones I criticize here all the time..the ultra-conformist lambs..the spoiled, proper obvious Sorority girls.
They wear their hair dyed similarly blonde in ponytails clasped at the same geometric angle by the same hair ties. Their hands are soft and clean, their toenails done up ( they always wear flip flops rain or shine ) in an expensive fashion that probably costs more than I spend on my crappy thriftstore and WalMart apparel in a year; they always seem to be wearing the same identical T-shirt on the same days. They don't often carry books, only classy looking cellphones.
It's very clear that they've had any speck, any miniscule iota of individualism strained from their "look".
So, I queried Marla....am I making an assumption about these girls? Perhaps I'm not actually seeing different women everyday, perhaps I see the same ones over and over again on the bus. Perhaps instead of seeing hundreds of women identically made up for public transit I've only seen the same dozen over and over again...like one of those old Hanna Barbara cartoon backdrops.
We thought for awhile and realized that A) there's no way of telling short of strapping dated bands on their wrists like bird or animal specimens being observed and that B) it doesn't matter anyway, does it? Not to me...and of course not to them.
The leaves of lettuce on my salad plate stood in bold contrast..each with a unique look.
Walking to class I passed the legendary writer I had 6 weeks of a class with last term before he bailed out in mid-term with a self centered, vague explanation sent to we students via impersonal email. The lady who took over from the big name bigshot did her best..and I've run into her a couple times and she's been very friendly. I like her.
The legend and I locked glances from a distance. I was glad to see him..for all I knew he went to prison or the nuthouse. He recognized me ( of course ) and said an abrupt "hi" as I flashed a big shit eating grin and gave him a big hello back. I thought he had on his face an irritated "oh no" look that didn't invite any further discourse at all. If I had to imagine his thoughts I'd say they were something along the lines of: "..Oh no...not THAT fucking asshole..I hope he doesn't want to talk.....".
I could be imagining it I suppose. At any rate, isn't it a special day when you get any sort of greeting out of a legendary, award winning writer? HHmm? They are a sensitive, testy bunch and deserve special consideration, right? UURRPPP....
02/12/07
As I've pointed out here before, I'm not going to write about a certain class I'm experiencing right now; I'm "saving" it for a detailed look. I've got to relate a happening from todays class though..in case I get hit by a bus or keel over before i get a chance to write about it.
It's a very touchy feely class..we're all supposed to be in touch with our sensitive inner selves and all. The question was asked by the lecturer...who did we men in the class see as a well known "handsome" man..not from a sexual standpoint neccessarily....just good looking..yunno.
She looked for raised hands. This was a moment in which we could show how in touch we are with our feminie sides. A hand was raised..."Brad Pitt"..one fellow said. A murmer of approval..
yeah..Brad Pitt another voice agreed. I thought and thought...a couple more popular male actors were named. Finally, my hand shot up into the air as the Prof. strolled past my front row seat.
The attention of 300+ mostly freshmen students was upon me. I could see dozens of students sitting around me paying attention.
To me the answer was clear: "Dennis Rodman"! I declared in an upbeat voice.
The answer was accepted..she repeated my choice through her microphone and asked for more revealing picks from other guys.
How do you like my choice of an attractive man? Guys..girls?
I'm very satisfied with my answer. UURRPP.
I feel like hoisting my cultured pinky in pride as I sit here swilling Budweiser's.
2/11/07
All in all a decent enough weekend. 2 drunks so far and another one in progress.
The one Friday night was with Joey and Marla at a local tavern. We had a good yak about wrestling and Marla managed to correctly correct me on the exact name a wrestler used in the PNW years ago. Seems she wasn't just drooling over Martell and Luger after all.
Saturday I read for something like 9 hours to get caught up ( well, my idea of caught up is ahead a bit ) and my new Fritz 9 ( a desirable chess software program from Germany ) loaded perfectly. It's gonna definitely improve my game. You don't just play against it, it has modes where it analyzes your games and positions fed into it. It beats most of the Grandmasters out there in the world frequently, so it's advise is priceless. It was sent to me by a chess pal from LA who I'm gonna room with at the National open in Vegas ( Marla will be busy then stressing over Elvis's wedding on 7/7/07 ). We chess players are honest amongst one another for the most part and generous. I'll be buying this dude some drinks for sure.
Tonight I played a tournament game at the Austin chess club...the first of a four round event that'll be continued the next three Sundays. Oddly enough I'm the third highest rated. I played a girl who is about 13 or so who has done damned well in Texas scholastic events. Our game lasted 4 1/2 hours or so. She put up a good scrap, but was eventually done in by some endgame finesse by yours truly. The final finishing manuever was a snazzy 4 move mate combination right out of the text books involving a sacrifice of a rook. Fun, but I'm supposed to see stuff like that.
When I got home I learned that I got an A in my first test of the semester. It's in my annoying class I've opted to not write about here; what I'm going through is book calibre material. I don't want to give it away. I was prepared for a frigging C, so I'm glad. Once again my flashcard study technique seems to be effective. The once full theatre room the class is held in should be significantly roomier this week. The Prof. said the average score is 72-73. That means a helluva lot of students failed it for sure. Oh well; 7-11 needs a lot of career Slurpy pulling geeks...and we need more empty spaces in the commuter parking lot.
Oh yeah....a cruel longterm friend of mine ( who'll go un-named here ) detected a fellow employee sneaking drinks from his 2 liter orange soda at work. I helped him gleefully plan his revenge: massive clear laxitive will be employed to drive her to shit her pants on the job! YEE HAW!
2/06/07
I'm a hedonist agnostic. My vague overall purpose in life is to seek pleasure wherever it may be found; to follow my whims and wallow in comforts. I enjoy writing about pleasurable things, yet one of life's greatest ( to me ) is a joy I can't even remember writing about: the lazy nap.
In a world falling apart at the seams due to a myriad of cultural, religious, political and ethical differences, isn't it comforting to know that there's one pleasure out there that adults from all walks of life can enjoy...the NAP.
Here in America if we look closely we can see the ties that bind rich and poor together; in your-town USA on any given day you can see a simple wino in an alley with worn out shoes and stinky clothes leaning his back against the wall of a mighty skyscraper for a few moments of blissful slumber. Meanwhile, the C.E.O. of the corporation that occupies this mighty structure has the same idea. He leans back in his chair in his sumptuous top floor office and nods off. Sleep is a great equalizer. The dreams of the fellow down in the alley a few feet from the gutter may be sweet and pleasant; the dreams of the Captain of industry may be tortured. Somehow in some vague feel-good way a progressive sort may be able to describe better than I, this seems significant to me.
The art of the nap is not exclusive to males, but I'd say women in our culture tend to relax in slightly different ways for the most part ( probably because they're stuck dealing with screaming brats more often than men ). Men gravitate towards hammmocks and sofa's..park benches and porch chairs. Women go to fashionable spa's, places where they have mud packed all over them or if they're from a lower income home tend to get their nap non-deliberately by passing out in front of a TV likely from exhaustion.
I've heard of many intellectuals who were big nap enthusiasts.
I'd like to learn more about cultures where everybody goes home during the afternoon for a big sleep.
I think 8 hours of sleep per day isn't neccessary for people in good health. Gimme 4 1/2 - 5 hours for a couple R.E.M.'S and a couple brief post meal or pre activity naps and I'll be fine.
I fucking LOVE naps; if you don't like that...that's fine. Get your 8-9 hours per night like a squarehead..just DON'T FUCK WITH ME when I'm napping. I don't swim in your toilet..so don't pee in my pool......UURRP.
02/04/07
It was a study day for me in spite of the Superbowl. Yeah, I'm a real Spartan when it comes to hitting the damned books.
I came home from the library in time to finish off a batch of Whiskey Rebel miniature meatballs ( that mated with a zesty sauce marla made ) and my red potato oven dish coated with olive oil and slathered in sweet onions and a delicately chopped red bell pepper.
Elvis, his fiance and his future Mother in law came by to watch the game.
Marla and I reminded all assembeled that even though we're not very avid NFL fans nowdays, we never missed a Sunday for 20 years. We've seen our share.
It was a good game with the Colts proving to be a much more solid team. Hell, how did the Bears get there? Defense? Defense my ASS I should say...they didn't stop the Colts.
It feels a bit strange when I watch football these days, but what the hell. Elvis is marrying into a family of real sports fans. That's better than a lot of things they could be doing.
Prince performed about as well as you can expect for a high profile halftime show. Shit, he played an electric guitar...no rap horseshit. That's a miracle these days. No screechy Mariah Carey crap either. Marla seized up for a minute there when Billy Joel ( YUCK! ) sang our hallowed national anthem. She hates the bastard at least as much as I hate cell phones.
NO MARLA! Don't throw your plate of brisket and potato salad at the TV screen...!! He's almost done....
2/02/07
A few unexpected positive things have happened this week; nothing all that huge, but anything at all seems to really stand out. It's the little stuff that keeps me going in the face of all the typical bad horsecrap.
For instance, I checked my student email account last niught and was delighted to see an INVITATION to the DEAN'S HONOREE'S RECEPTION for those of us dumb enough to bust our asses to make the DEAN'S LIST last semester.
Won't my Mother be proud? Well, I bet she would be if she stopped talking about all the illnesses her relatives have gone through lately and the weather In Eugene Oregon and her bitching me out for various reasons; it's 50%-50% whether I can get her to shut up long enough to let me tell her.
You might imagine that Marla and Elvis are proud; to an extent I guess. Elvis didn't make the list and hasn't yet in his college career so far as I know. He's done great...and is headed for fine things but not the Dean's February 28th reception. I suspect he's already heard me crow enough about it.
I finally reminded Marla enough times that she picked up a frame for my parchment certificate at the grocery store. She's proud, but has a lot on her mind.
Are the cats proud? er, well never mind.
My bandmates? If I ever talked to them sober it might register with them.
My fellow students? Well, most grit their teeth out of jealousy over awards like this. The few that are happy when I casually mention it seem to be shocked and amused as if I must be as dumb as I look.
When I mentioned making the Dean's list here I never was inundated by congratulatory emails either. I think one or two people ( if that ) added a "good job" to their message likely out of obligation.
So, am I saying nobody really gives a shit about my dramatically coming out of academic retirement after a quarter century and earning a 3.8 GPA?
HELL NO. There are plenty of jolly folks who care; most of them will be at the Dean's reception. I bet the ones from the History department will be enthused especially. I've been forewarned they'll be taking my picture with the Dean of my academic college and that I must wear "business casual" apparel. Great. I've got the slacks and nice boots and shirt I wear to dinner in Vegas. Maybe I'll clip on a tie. Nobody's forcing me to...so why not?
I want to mingle and smile and drink punch with my pinky pointing in the air and eat a couple sodium laced cookies and maybe if I'm really lucky DANCE with the Dean's old lady. Should I pinch her sagging ass?
Remember, academic success has it's pay offs.
How did that line from Animal House go..? "fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life Son.."
Yeah....I've improved on that to FAT, DRUNK and INTELLIGENT. Swell. A fine formula.
01/31/07
Some people call them baby boomers; to me they are all goddamned hippies.
The rotten, stinking, halfwit, ideolistic morons of that generation have plagued me since I was a child.
History lesson: I was born in 1957...too late to be part of their fuckedup crap.
I remember it all too clearly though. Filthy fucking hippie pigs wallowing in their own pathetic drug induced spaced out imbecility. Trying to claim some sort of vision or moral higher ground on the people in charge..the "establishment" the "parents" ....the WWII and depression survivors.
Yes, the WWII gen people were stodgy old fucks. I was raised by a couple who had been through hard times in the 30's & 40's.
Oh well. When I was new in the work force in the mid 70's I had many a boss from the "Bob Dole" generation. They're mostly filling diapers now. Yunno, I didn't mind them much; at least you always knew where you stood with them.
The hippies on the other hand "progressively" have spewed out as they got older tougher stances on moral issues. What? They undid most of what the hell they accomplished in the first place. They epitomized the old "do as I say not as I did" shakey position.
Now everywhere I look in the political scene I see hippies...FUCKING STINKING goddamned hippies in both parties. Some are born again conservatives some are vomit inducing p.c. lib's.
I hate them all....but as of a few hours ago I have new incentive to live to an old age. I finally realized that if I live into my early 70's I'll have the incredible joy of WATCHING THEM DIE IN DROVES.
If you're in your 20's or early 30's you may not quite be able to fathom my happiness. Aren't I being over the top "negative"? aren't I being a "hater"?? Well, walk a mile in my worn out Converse sneakers and you might understand where I'm coming from.
I've been stuck in this in between generation that is small in numbers compared to the hippie assholes my whole life. They've been in the drivers seat most of the time. I'm so sick of hearing how their generation "changed the world" when they've collectively undone anything they accomplished in their struggle against puritan morality.
Bottom line: they may have raised hell in the late 1960's, but that's ancient history. They pussed out, gave us disco and Yanni and are as sappy as their "establishment" parents ever were.
I can't wait to watch them all DIE!!!!!!!!!
01/30/07
It's a fact..I just don't grease farts all the time like I used to. It's gotta be a combination of the low sodium chow I eat and my very beer heavy compared to whiskey ratio as far as my nightly drinking on school days goes. I fart rarely and I...well, I sort of miss it.
Unfortunately, I've experienced a couple wafts of fart scent from other students over the last couple days. Those deadly silenters; it's a shame but I bet I get blamed for a lot of them based on my general appearance and demeanor.
Hey, it's not me..not these days.
On days like today when I'm bombarded by soundbites on the radio and TV of Jane fucking Fonda and Hillary the Nazi p.c. bitch Clinton and that looney Sheehan cunt I want to drop my sweat pants and pump-spew a stream of diareah all over my youthful classmates. But, I just crap a couple times before leaving the house in the morning and all is well for the day I'm afraid.
Sorry. I don't mean to be such a dull bastard.
Our old toilet song "window on the world" is running through my head right now.
Mike Schuppe did indeed make it to our Hause on Saturday night. We drank and whooped it up pretty good I thought. Elvis and his fiance and Mark all came by. It was a pretty straight forward night of good old drinking.
Will my Brother Clinton be the next one to visit?
If so, will he fart, drink something funny or good old corporate beer? I don't know. Even the cats fart more than me these days....and that's a melancholy sort of realization I must ponder in depth...UURRppp......
01/26/07
I'm glad I got married 29 years ago and don't have to drag my ass around the University looking for women.
If I did, I discovered today where I'd start. I ran the idea past Marla and she nodded in approval that my idea is good.
It started when I got stuck on a shuttlebus for 12 minutes ( seemed more like an eternity on a galley slave boat ) with a gaggle of screechy, smiley, immature, look-alike sorority girls. The whole damned bunch of these little bitches are clearly trying to sustain their high school social dominance. Of course WE know that once high school is over, it's OVER..don't we? They'll never dominate things like they did back in what for them all their lives will seem like the "good old days". The best thing they can do is find a husband with good career prospects and a decent sized dick. Yes, I've bitched about these broads in the past. When I'm around 3 or 4 of them I'm able to maintain a passive attitude towards them. When I'm stuck with a mob of them within close range with all their "like like" bullshit talk I go ape. This bunch was no worse than the ones I've seen before; today I happened to look past the plastic grins on their mugs at the other passengers on the bus. I saw two different women about the same age who clearly weren't part of this group. They were both separately ( unbeknownst to each other ) staring FUCKING DAGGERS at the sorority darlings. They seemed to be dressed for comfort...packing large bags of books around.
If I was a guy in that age group shopping around for a woman, guess where I'd start? You got it.
Fraternity men are a much maligned group. A lot of folks don't like em, but it occured to me today looking at that batch of sorority Queen's that those guys have got to be tough as nails and fearless to date those honey's with all the spoiled, catty crap they have to listen to from them. If they start viewing them as convenient pieces of ass..sex objects to be seduced, who can blame them? Let the sweet talk begin. I have a whole new respect for these guys...I couldn't put up with that shit for 2 hours. I admire their courage and tenacity....urppp..here's to 'em!
1/24/07
Slogging through the rain and the mud to get to the shuttlebus this morning I realized I felt OK in spite of the short term misery. Once I get to the campus I get to see lots of kids who can't adjust looking very concerned and in pain.
Of course the slightly older students in their 20's handle it like Texan's. In other words, with a "bring it on" mentality. A little rain and muddy shoes for a couple weeks isn't shit compared to REAL winters elsewhere.
Global warming? I seriously doubt it. If Al Gore is the prime spokesman for a cause, it's likely a contrived bit of exaggeration. There might be something to it, but I'll worry when G. Gordon Cranium Liddy expresses fear.
Due to my German class being located way the hell out of the over a tall hill LBJ undoubtedly bitched about, I'm getting a real workout. It's held in a building in which the ever popular ROTC and criminal justice programs are based. It's clear when you think about the liberal nature of the University administration and faculty why these departments are stuck in the Siberia of San Marcos.
My legs, feet and ass muscles are howling...but I supposed it'll just make me stronger.
I've developed a brisk new method of drinking for all these nights in which I read text books until the wee hours. I switch from reading and listening to classical music in my throne with Dixie perched asleep on top to a vigorous couple of hours at the PS2. The game I'm focusing on has been Tiger Wood's golf for 8 months. I'll be switching to baseball and poker soon.
Anyway, I don't drink whiskey before an early morning of classes. I drink about 10 beers or so in about an hour and a half and stay up for another half hour to piss most of it out. Then, 4-5 hours of sleep hopefully and up to greet the new day.
I've had a rule for years: I don't play or study chess while drinking ( well, much )...and I don't study for my classes while drinking either. When I change channels I start pouring it down, hell bent for leather ( whatever that means..lickety split ). 10 beers spread out over 5 hours is pitiful...10 beers in an hour and a half is soothing.
It makes me sleepy much of the time..and I never have hangovers from nice, pure corporate beer.
An unexpected dividend of my present low sodium eating routine is the jolly fact that I don't fart very often at all...go FIGURE? It's beyond the limits of my comfortable crassness to break wind in small classrooms. I bet I did when I was in my 20's and was less disciplined.
Of course good old cheap pruney beer that sells for $4.99 per 12 pack of 12 ounce cans will make you fart like hell compared to the discreet, cosy fartless wonders of Bud, Coors and Thee Highlife. Guess which I don't drink much of right now? Yeah...you got it....UUrrppp
1/22/07
Damn. My brother's nestled in the other end of the state 10 hours away...El Paso. He'll be flying to Kuwait to work on a contractual basis ASAP. I won't see him after all until he comes back here to muster out of the work crew contract.
Where-upon, I have confidence he won't leave the continental U.S. after getting paid without coming here to San Marcos where we'll have a damned mighty shindig.
I'd hate to have to chase him down in Italy to whup his ass like big brothers need to do to little brothers occasionally. The fact that he's 10 years younger and appears in pictures to be in top ass-kicking condition doesn't matter. I'm the better chess player; I'll figure out how to out-fox him. Well, he'll visit here and not test me most likely.
I had a wild dream during one of my naps today. I dreamt I rented my services out in lucrative fashion to local students who wanted a REAL BONA FIDE drunk at their gathering. I think I had about a 2 foot long dick in this dream...and talked like the Fonz.
In reality, I've been studious since the semester began.
I enjoyed the best lecture today since my "come back" to the U. It was 10:00 a.m. I was operating off of only 3 1/2 hours of sleep but managed to grin mightily when my topnotch Roman history Prof. gave an argument about the BENEFITS of being a slave under the right conditions in the age of the Roman Empire. What a cool guy with an inquiring mind. He stated his case in an apolitical fashion..but let's face it...it's very un-p.c. and gutsy to teach these sort of notions. It's only the first lecture of his I've heard. I can't wait for more. I've earned my spot in his class...I'll try to live up to it.
1/19/07
Had a full brace of classes today; it's good to get back to the damned grind. My earliest class M-W-F will be with a brilliant PHD history Prof. who established his veracity in my mind by wearing a tweed jacket to this first class session. He has a French accent, wore a Kravatte as we say in German like Thurston Howell III's and undoubtedly is more plugged in to Rome 100 B.C. than our era.....he's my kind of guy. He's the real McCoy Daddy.
My second scheduled class is so fucking bizarre it deserves full commentary in a roomier format. I won't spoil my long term efforts at relating my experiences ( clearly my strangest course at Texas State hands down ), but to point out the fact that it's so designed for 18-19 year old's I felt almost like a sick old bastard being in the room ( am I that? Well, OK.)
My Political Science class will be all about yelling this semester...quarreling about topical issues. I'm planning on sitting in the front row and only occasionally getting involved. Should be fun to watch.
My German class is with a Prof. who seems like a likeable bloke who keeps things light. Good. No need for too much pressure in a tough class like that. The fellow who got me through my first semester Dr. Brister has retired. I liked him. His last stand left those of us who took his class a chapter ahead of the class I've just joined ( the same text is used throughout the department ). It gives me a workable edge.
The imminent visits of a couple out of towners blows away all my academic thoughts. Mike Schuppe will be visiting in a week. We've known him since 1979 or so. Of course he's a great guitar player ( you'd be wise to get his band the SWINO'S latest cd's ) who I've played with on a couple other projects, but mostly deep down he's our pal from a long time back.
To my way of thinking guys like Mike Schuppe and Mike McNally whom Marla and I have known for so long ( hell I met McNally when I was 16 ) are like Brothers really..I feel the same way about happily a few other friends ( many of whom probably don't suspect I value them quite that much ) I've known for less years...but there's no doubt these 2 guys have been a huge part of my long term stint on this shitty planet.
They've both seen waves of other "friends" come and go. Do you have friends like that?
The best upcoming visit I'm crossing my fingers on. it seems to good to be true.
I came home to an email out of the blue from my Brother in Italy saying he'd be arriving on Texas soil within 24 hours.
In this case my "BROTHER" is definetly not a flattering, exaggerated term.
He fell out of the same womb I did. I've deliberately not gone into too much detail about my blood relatives I've discoverd over the last few years. A waiting period has seemed in order.
I lost another Brother ( well, ok...half ) from my biological Father's side in 2006. I never met him.
This guy, whose been living in Italy with his Wife and 2 boys for a few years oddly enough grew up in a family I wasn't destined to be a part of A FRIGGING 1/2 MILE or so away from where I grew up in Beaverton Oregon.
He pumped gas at a station a friend of mine worked at.
I was a high school student "teacher" at the grade school my siblings including him and 3 Sisters attended. One of those Sisters is also gone now. Too late. I'll never know her. Another Sister chooses to have nothing to do with me and ANOTHER Sister also given up for adoption ( !?) whom I have met a few times and feel very close to. I'm still waiting to meet another Sister in Colorado who acknowledges the reality of having 2 extra siblings but I've been unable to get together with.
My only surviving biological Brother on earth will be pulling into Houston or maybe El Paso within a few hours of this writing.
I've never seen him in person. I've emailed him many times and yakked on the phone for a long time once. From what I've experienced meeting several other blood relatives for the first time as a middle-aged guy I have to admit I'm better prepared for it than him I guess. I've met in person two Sisters, Aunts on both sides, Uncles, numerous Cousins and of course my hillbilly Granny.
Honestly, to me a Brother is somebody very different from all of those folks though.
You get shitfaced drunk with your Brother and if he pukes all over you..well, he's your Brother. Even though we haven't met in person, if he needed a place to stay for a fucking YEAR he'd get it....I'd take a beating for his Sons..and maybe sacrifice my life for them...or his Wife.
But I've never met him in person. Yet.
If it all happens this week and I get to...I'll be so fucking happy. I don't get happy in a giddy way very often.
Maybe we'll put a picture of us on this humble, often negative and scummy website to further the cause of the rights of adopted people to find out who their blood people are at some point in their life.
1/17/07
It's been cold as fuck for a few days now. My first couple days of school were cancelled. Luckily, we'll be back to the academic grind tomorrow. It's high time for a mood of scholarly pursuit to descend back over this city. The students seem to be in a state of non-stop frolic; I want to see them with their noses in books...and if they aren't up to that, I want them to begin feeling sensations of dread in their bellies. The fear of FAILURE.
I've really missed not going to the library to buckle down to a nice long study of German. They've had the whole place locked up for days now. You'd think they'd get it open by escorting librarians on snowmobiles if neccessary. A library is the heart and soul of a University. I can't fathom how they can leave it closed...worse yet, NOBODY seems to care.
Elvis and his fiance stared at me like I'm a nut when I pointed this out to them. They're fine kids, but have been obviously conditioned to be like all the rest.
WHERE are all the serious intellectuals prone to study and hard work in this burg with the library inexplicably and rudely closed? IHOP? Some laundry mat? There must be a few likeminded souls with superior minds who don't have cellphones glued to their ears jabbering to their imbecile friends like magpies..who aren't dependant on TV crap like American Idol or Springer or Dawson's Creek re-runs during this inclement weather. Where do THEY congregate? Is their a Mensa clique I need to meet up with?
To prepare for my most difficult class ( Daily life in the Roman Empire ) I went to Halfprice books the other day and picked up a broad overview historical account of Rome. It's not my area of expertise at all. I'm looking forward to it though..and expect that my fellow classmates ( many of whom might be grad students ) will be more up on things such as a basic timeline of rulers and significant cultural accomplishments. I only know what I've seen on the History channel, and ..that's not gonna cut it.
I've been reading it the last few days while housebound.
The Roman's 2,000 years ago seem to have been way the hell more advanced than quite a few "modern" 3rd world nations. Of course, no professor will be insensitive enough to admit to that publically. The p.c. police would run them out of the University. It's glaringly obvious though. They layed down 52,000 miles of roads that weren't improved upon until the 19th century I am told. They had a form of air conditioning and enjoyed lots of sex. I can't wait to find out whether the "commode's" we enjoy were named after Commodius.
I wonder if they had a fascination with shitting and puking at the same time like superior intellectuals in our day? I know the Roman's loved violent sports including chariot racing, gladiatorial battles to the death and naval battles theatrically re-enacted in flooded amphi-theatres. I know they dug wrestling..what was their version of "professional" wrestling like? I can't wait to find out.
The talk radio host I'm listening to in the background just joked about how rough 3 1/2 days of contact with peoples own families has been in iced up Austin. Cabin fever is roughest on the stupid. Take out their TV and game systems and they're only left with their cell phones and their neighbors. YUCK.
The first days of this cold snap we were totally without heat and our hot water wasn't heating too well. Marla got those problems fixed. She installed a new thermostat. Right now, she's up at work and I'm here sweating it out with the cats. It's BLOODY HOT in here; the damned thermostat is so complex she couldn't figure out how to set it right. It's 82 frigging degrees in here. I peeled down to my underwear and am about to ditch that final layer. I better go wipe my ass thoroughly so I don't leave chocolate kisses on the chairs. Maybe I can get one of the cats to clean my bunghole..they seem to be damned good at it...here kitty kitty kitty......
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