Welcome to the Whiskey Rebel's Diary
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Archives: 9/01/01 to 09/30/01------links at bottom of page
9/30
I spent a while this weekend with Boy George and June Carter Cash. Well, you just know THAT'S a bit too ridiculous to be literally true..I did in the sense that I skimmed their autobiographies. I've been buying more and more books lately many of which I wouldn't buy to read ordinarily..I've loosened my standards up since I'm selling books on Ebay now. May as well give them the once over before they leave the house.
Boy George's book is a detailed chronicle of many years of drug use and homosexual relationships which tend to be filled with upheaval by his own admission. My friend Joe Hornoff worked the board for him in a studio and says he's a nice guy; probably so. His accounting of his appearance on the "A" Team was lackluster though and after a half hour of browsing I set it aside even though it seems to be well written overall. Maybe I'll finish it some time down the road.
June Carter Cash's book was written in 1986. I'm NOT just a fan of her hubbie Johnny Cash...I'm a fan of June and Anita and Maybelle and all the rest of the great Carter family. There are some great stories about Hank Williams and Elvis and other legends and a doozy about June and Johnny and their Son on a rafting trip in Alaska. June writes that they all sang "North to Alaska" around the campfire..and missed their pal Johnny Horton.
Damn, I would've done that!
Her story about getting to know her Son-in-law Nick Lowe in London was great too.
I've read several books this week in between writing and my Ebay work. Burt Reynolds autobiography was great...and I read a collection of short stories collected from 1920's-30's issues of a detective/crime oriented fiction magazine "Black Mask". I also read a couple hundred pages of Western short stories from an anthology.
I have a title for my book about "moving"...
It came about as a result of a brainstorming session with Elvis. We do a lot of goddamned brainstorming around here..including a session tonight to help him select a topic out of a jillion possibilities for a very lengthy screenplay (120 pages or so) he has to write for his class at the creative and performing arts high school.
Anyway..the title of my book should be "HOSTILE CITY or BUST" unless I change my mind.
I've got most of a half gallon of JIM BEAM here beside me and a damn big load of cold beer, enough stuff to list on Ebay tomorrow night without going out..and Marla's taking Elvis to school; so, hopefully I can finish the absolute last few words before emailing it off for the editing process.
9/29
Here's some bad news from Andi (from BORN BAVARIAN)
Hey y'all -
one more is gone: just heared from Andi Sturm that Roland "Uncle Drunkle" Holler is dead. Sturm got a letter by his parents saying that he was found dead in his apartment. He died between July 6th and 14th, but the doctors couldn't find out the reason (he didn't do drugs for sure). He was burnt in Munich end of July.
Roland kept very much to himself and just appeared on some concerts or shit. I knew that he was in a real bad mental and physical condition after he lost his job one more time, but I didn't know it was that bad. He was a big supporter of all our bands who always meant what he said.
there might be a few people who remember him from the cos shows 98 and 99 and give a damn.
Andi
Hell yeah we remember him. Roland had longass hair and a big beard that was greying when he was here for the Hostile City SUPERSHOW just in case some folks remember him more by sight. He and Andi Sturm were the first two people to check into the hotel (remember that great big round tower?) and Elvis and I ventured over to visit them and kickoff the supershow week of big drinking for me. We got ripped and talked about music and bands and concerts and shit for hours and hours. I'm very damn sad to hear he's gone.
Unless there's more to the story we haven't heard yet, It sounds like he died sad and alone. I hope that when my time comes to go that at least there'll be some people around for me to snap at rudely. It sounds as though his job..or should I say loss of his job contributed to his demise. I SURE AS HELL have been down that road before as Hank would say. It's terrible, but losing a job..especially a job you HATE..can be depressing as almost nothing else. Maybe he just couldn't think of his next move..and his health slipped away during weeks and months of worrying. I sympathize.
I've already given him a multiple shot salute last night...I may as well double up and do it again tonight; I think he'd want it that way.
At a thriftstore today Elvis was sitting reading a book waiting for me minding his own business. A kid who was about 3 years old spotted a toy gun and declared out loud (although no one by Elvis heard) "I'm gonna get that gun and shoot everybody here..and run away..nobody will know it was me!" or something to that effect. Kid's say the darndest things, EH?
The goddamned mummers had another party on 2nd street half a block away today. Marla woke and went to drive our van to work..but it was gone! Being familiar with the way the mummers work she walked around a few blocks away and found our van had been towed WITHOUT WARNING so that they could close the street off and have a party complete with hideously loud antiquated 70's-80's pop schlock Karioke all day long. Yeah..THAT'S RIGHT..enough mummers are cops..so they figure it's legal and constitutional to tow any cars blocking their path and dump them at random without warning or apology.
We've hated mummery since the day we moved into this neighborhood..To quote our RANCID VAT song "mummer massacre" (from "31 flavors of HOSTILITY") "Champagne tonight..the Mummers are gonna die..we hate their fucking guts..let me tell you why". I wish we could kill all 50,000 of them. Why couldn't Bin Laden target the next mummer's New Years day parade for a suicide sneak attack??
9/28
I'm only now reading Jesse Ventura's 2nd book which was published over a year ago. It's titled "Do I stand alone?".
It's not as entertaining as his autobiography..it's not meant to be. It's focuses on his views of our political system, directions our country should/could be heading, an informed view of the realities of dealing with the media and career politicains.
I agree with about 90% of his positions..which is incredible in my book. I've totally given up on the two party system..I gave up on it long ago. Governor Jesse's book is inspiring at times. I've got to admit truthfully that my interest in American politics vanished long ago..just like my interest in the NFL and the NBA...two other "games". We should be electing qualified candidates who pursue the best interests of the people in an intellectual manner. A basic key he explains very well is something I've recognized for a long time..our news media is a total JOKE! I've been questioning whatever I hear on TV or read in newspapers for a long damn time. The media is SO FUCKED UP that lots of people whom I don't consider myself close to politically find all sorts of obvious untruths in the media that I don't catch! I recommend this book for anybody who has doubts about the media and wants to learn more about the way they hide behind a cloke of "journalistic integrity".
Governor Jesse lists the hot buttons that politicians use to get a cheap pop from all you voters..if you don't know what I'm talking about you better go to your damn library and check this book out like I did. It's so good I want to BUY a copy.
I saw a commercial for an "Ebay" board game on TV tonight. Elvis still thinks I'm bullshitting him..but I swear it's true. I wonder if you can draw a card that punishes you by allowing Billpoint (Ebay's convenient billing Nazi's) into your life..as I moaned about a while back they tapped into our bank account..and we don't even have a billpoint account!!
NONE of 3 emails I sent billpoint/Ebay were ever answered..with the exception of an omonious response stating that there was "no need" for me to submit anymore complaints.
We filed a notarized affadavit with our bank which should get our money back. The time I've spent dealing with billpoint forcing itself against my will into my life is probably up to 60 or 70 hours. I never would've believed it if I hadn't experienced it firsthand.
I picked up a case of 16 ounce Schaefer's in returnable bottles today at thee Whiskey Rebel's official beer store.."BELL Beverage". A construction worker picking up a case of "Miller Lite" (Yuck!) saw it and was inspired enough to spontaneously sing me an old Schaefer commercial song that we have on a video tape of old commericals. WOW!!
I'm preparing to send over the smaller of two books I recently finished for Leslie Goldman to edit (who else could handle the job?? thanks!). I was amazed with almost every word of the first part of it when I reread it last night; I found one damn thing that had always bothered me about it that I could never put my finger on. NOW it's ready for the fucking world to see..as soon as I correct the problem which will take about an hour. The topic is one that is rarely written about unless I'm seriously mistaken...the physical difficulties (which are comical but seem tragic at the time) and the mental challenges and trauma of moving with your family cross-country. I had set this on the back burner to write the other book I just finished. My learning of my ancestral pioneer root's this Spring made this one seem important to finish ASAP. I truly believe that my "travelin' bone" is a genetic thing..how many people can say that they honestly don't have a "home town" that they recognize?? Everybody fucking does..except for we Irwin's.
Wow..what a joy. I left a can of warm PBR up here hours ago sitting by the open window. The brisk weather has chilled it..thank you Satan.
9/27
Larry and Leslie brought our pal Rev. Axl from Chicago over here Wednesday night. It was good to seem him. I was gonna describe him as our "wrestler" pal..but that seems demeaning. As if the only reason we like him is the fact he's a wrestler and we want to hear all his inside stories.
WELL, I DO like hearing his inside stories..but he'd be my friend even if he wasn't a wrestler. Just like I'm sure he'd still call me his pal if I wasn't a philosopher/rock star/noted columnist/etc. He smokes cigars..and I got to smoke one from Nicaragua as a special treat.
I got fairly drunk..good and drunk. And then I stopped off at the computer to make a brief diary entry. A half hour later I was looking at a page full of angry drunken ranting towards people expressing various opinions about our "new war". I wisely hit the delete button and wiped it all out.
I've already ranted on the subject carefully..this was an idiotic blind rant. It would've been entertaining to read, but it would negate whatever I have to say in my normal "borderline-drunk" intelligent fashion.
I read so many stupid editorials and articles on a daily basis on the subject that I feel it's my duty in a way to express my views. I'm non-partisan..and a student of history. I'm eager to seek out the weak points in arguments from all ends of the spectrum.
All you hear about on talk radio is the war..even on Art Bell's show. It's a subject that isn't going to go away soon.
As part of an on-going comentary on the situation..here's the stupidest remark I heard today on the subject. The lead letter ran in a local weekly paper ("the South Philly review") was written by a person who advocated that our leaders should crawl on their hands and knees to plead for whatever terms the terrorists will grant us to end the possibility of a "Vietnam like war".
What kind of person is ready to throw in the towel that quickly?? We have the strongest military in the world. We should proceed conscious of lessons we paid dearly for in Viet Nam. It's two entirely different situations however. To start with, there's the matter of 6,000+ random casualties!! And we're dealing with a multi-millionaire RELIGIOUS-WACKO who is bringing trouble and sacrifice and danger to an already dirt-poor nation who are undoubtedly pissed off with their current regime to begin with. I can't believe that women WANT to wear those uncomfortable veils. And of course most of the men would be happier in a country with titty-bars and corporate beer. Now that's a situation which is FAR removed from the early days of our involvement in Viet Nam which was a much more prosperous country from the get-go undergoing a political struggle.
Granted, if the war is poorly executed it can indeed turn into a disaster. But we don't want to throw our hands up in the air and surrender..unless we're willing to flush our economy and way of life down the toilet.
The person who wrote that editorial would undoubtedly be punked out in prison without a fight. I wonder how this person survives the streets of South Philly?? I really do.
Enough of that for today.
Elvis and I went to the last regular season Philly's game tonight. We primarily wanted to bring home a couple bobbing-head Larry Bowa figures. They turned out to be made of porcelain and rather sophisticated to be given away at a damn ballgame. The crowd was FUCKED!! We waited a total of 50 minutes to buy tickets and enter the stadium. I used to sympathize with the ballclub for being disappointed that fans haven't been coming out..but NO LONGER. They can't even deal with the fans they have.
My least favorite thing in the world to do is wait in a line. I'd rather be kicked in the balls or eat a moth. I thought I was having a panic attack for awhile. The worst part is hearing what other people say to one another..and looking at their faces no matter which direction you turn. They grin and are in fine spirits..content to wait patiently while I crackup inwardly.
The crowd tried to do "the wave" for awhile; I told Elvis he was out of the family if he participated. He was a bit pissed off that I felt like I had to accuse him of being the sort of fool that would do something that embarassing and degrading.
A male/female couple..kinda chunky physically..both of them with a 16 ounce beer in each hand sat close to us even though we were 30 rows from anyone else. The Wife said to her hubby loudly "it's not like there isn't 800 empty rows..and we're sitting here?". I wanted to stand up and say "that's right baby!". But her silent beer loving hubby merely grinned and sat down. Elvis wanted to move at first..but I soon realized we were dealing with kindred spirits. They were more interested in drinking beer than "the wave". I theorized to Elvis that it was good to have them sitting next to us..they might help ward off Christian types with screechy kids.
Beer's are $5.00 at the stadium. $5 fucking dollars!!
The damned thing is, everybody but me seems to always have a couple that they're working on. Along with huge cardboard platters of fast food that cost about $5 per item. How do they afford it?? We're not destitute..but EVERYBODY but us seems to buy beer and snacks by the armload. I have to guzzle cheap cans from home in our van and walk into the stadium with a gallon of brew sloshing in my bloated gut. I always sober up by the 4th inning and feel dehydrated.
The best answer I've come up with is the fact that athletic events are possibly outside of church the only hobbies these people spend money on. We do a helluva lot of things that cost money to entertain ourselves...travel, music, computers, etc.
Is it that?? or are these baseball fans so damn dumb?? 2 or 3 beers do me no good. I need at least 10..usually more. That's $50-$60...I can buy 4 cases for that kind of money. Or, A half gallon of Jim Beam and pay our cable bill. SHEESH.
9/25
I was up all night finishing off a lengthy column for HITLIST. I finished it a little less than a couple hours before it was time to take Elvis to school. I was fairly drunk, so I switched to caffeine to minimize my shot at a drunk driving rap. It's always been a special thrill driving him to school when loaded. I'm never all that far gone anymore, but back when he was really young I'd be so shitfaced I could barely walk..driving around hundreds of squeeling kids at the school. This was back when we lived in Portland. I'd always stop for more beer after driving him in at a grocery store that was usually empty that time of morning. Beer looks really great at night after a day of work. It looks even better though in my when the sun is freshly risen and everybody else is drinking coffee and hustling off to crappy jobs.
Drinking is almost always the ultimate goal and objective at the end of the day. If I wanted to as a self employed man I could drink first thing out of the sack. It's not like I never have. It's a rare thing though these days. Since I don't have a boss to report to I don't NEED to drink first thing when I wake up. I'm aware that you can burn yourself out by drinking day in and day out 365 days per year. I'm drinking for the long haul. I pace myself to getting drunk in most cases once per day after several hours of activity. I've switched from only writing when drunk or drinking to being able to write any time of the day with my sobriety level no longer mattering much. Sometimes I guzzle a pot of coffee while I write. That NEVER would have worked before I realized that the need to be drunk was a barrier I had erected without logical reason.
First thing in the morning (actually MY morning is the afternoon) I look in my refrigerator and do a quick beer count. You can't buy beer by the case here in Hostile City after 6:00 pm. I often TCB first thing on the way home from the post office. I made a solemn vow to NEVER BE CAUGHT without alcohol many years ago. I believe in holding a reserve amount in case I'm notified of a death or a bit of happy news. That's how it works 365 days per year. I'm a pro and am never without.
It's a more complicated matter when I travel which is fairly often. When I'm staying with someone I never count on them to have beer I want to drink. Happily even thoughtful non-drinkers (Thanks Rev. Axl!) often have appropriate beer waiting for me. When I stay with someone for the first time I try to warn them ahead of time that there's gonna be a lot of empty cans laying around. I ask 'em up front where they want them disposed of. Some people cash 'em in..some people throw them in the trash or recycle. It's always a relief when I'm staying with people who's drinking pleasures are similar to mine..yunno: beers and shots. When Travis and Liza put me up for a week I was handed a cold COORS at the door. Now THERE'S some kindred spirits.
Likewise when we have company I try to buy extra beer that my guests might like..within reason. I like YUENGLING and ROLLING ROCK and MOLSON'S alot..but I don't drink them everyday. I'll buy a case of each and a 30 pack of good ol' corporate beer that I usually drink everyday.
When I check in to a motel..which is often..I immediately set into motion a beer chilling plan. If there isn't a frig I use the bathroom sink and instruct anyone with me to wash their fucking hands using the bathtub faucet. I FUCKING HATE icing beer down in waste baskets. As B-Face of the Tunnel Rat's wisely observed at the supershow..you never know how many people have heaved in the damned thing. I don't like even touching waste baskets in motels. I wouldn't even heave in one unless I had no choice.
Anytime you're traveling South of the Mason-Dixon line it's wise to have an extra case of beer in case you wind up in a town with "blue" laws. And always pack along a plastic "traveller" fifth of Jim Beam. Glass bottles can break too easily which means you're out of booze..AND your clothing is going to be drenched in liquor.
Once long ago a bottle of aftershave broke in my suitcase. Since I never shave I guess it's obvious this was back when I was a pink-cheeked young lad. The aftershave dried quickly onto my apparel. I find myself pulling a pair of damp undershorts on that smelled really strong of aftershave. What the hell...I was selling encyclopedias door to door..I had no chance to buy new stuff or do my laundry. A strange thing happened. The aftershave residue created a tough leather-like layer of skin on my goddamn balls!! I was TERRIFIED!! Luckily it went away as mysteriously as it developed.
That's a good reminder to always travel with a plastic jug of booze whenever possible. A flask should suffice also in most cases as long as it's big enough. Lot's of them look deceptively much bigger than they actually are.
One last trick. If you have limited ice and a lot of beer to chill stick 6 cans or bottles under the ice at once. After 6 or 7 minutes these beers will be COLD. It doesn't take long. IMMEDIATELY exchange the cold beers for warm. The cold ones will stay fairly cold for a few hours. This way you can cool an entire case of beer with only one ordinary sized bucket of motel ice.
It's time to crack open my brand new half gallon of JIM BEAM. I've got a 30 pack of PABST BLUE RIBBON to enjoy it with. Another night of having everything under control alcohol wise here in HOSTILE CITY USA. REMEMBER!! NO NIGHT can be TOO bad if you've properly planned and provided yourself with suitable and sufficient alcohol.
9/23
Today was Elvis's 17th birthday. I'm saluting him here and now with an ice cold can of COORS. This year we're celebrating his birthday over a 4 day period..one day isn't enough to do all the things we want to do. I'm sure as hell glad that he's wound up on the verge of manhood as a INDIVIDUAL. He makes his own choices for himself and is suspicious of all the sheep he goes to school with. He plays games with them in fact that amuse me....games designed to toy with their minds.
Even though he's 6 feet 4 already he's NEVER bullied anybody in his lifetime. He's had a few problems with small guys with the ol' "Napoleon" complex..guys who are offended by his height that he had to back down over the years..but he's learned to use his mouth and his brain to solve problems.
That's best.
He hates rap and hiphop..as I've said before in this diary that's INCREDIBLY GREAT. I lucked out in a way..but, of course I created my luck by playing ALL kinds of music for him since day one. He never needed rap metal when he had MOTORHEAD or the DEADBOYS to listen to. Whenever I've had albums by groups I'm not wild about around to sell at record shows I've gone out of my way to play them for him.
It sounds corny..but I love to hear him laugh...that's where my parents went wrong in a nutshell. They lost sight of wanting me to be happy. All you new or aspiring parents take note!!
Marla's Sister visited us tonight here in Hostile City...the NICE one that is. I got to see one of my Nephews for the first time. This is a new one born a month ago. I have a couple others and a couple nieces..almost as old as Elvis. I've never seen 'em in person though.
I had a falling out with my inlaws 17 years ago that created the situation. My Father died right after we got married and my Father-in-law who is a know-it-all type got lippy with me one night when he had to leave his warm recliner to jumpstart my van during a visit to them in Seattle. I don't need to go into all the details here. I embarked on a boycott of Marla's parents of my own choosing soon after. Marla's Mother went to her grave hating me..and her old man eventually remarried. A couple years back I actually shocked Marla by telling her I was ready to go around her people again. The catch was that I would be myself this time..and not be a phoney, smiley, agreeable guy.
After years of the grudge being MY fault it's hers now; she has no interest in my rekindling any sort of honest relationship with her old man and his new wife. Fine enough.
What sucks is that as a sidebar to all this grudge holding I've never seen my nieces or nephews..even though I've always wanted to be an Uncle.
It was fun to see one tonight..although I know I'm kidding myself to think I'll ever have an important part in the life of any of them.
Which makes me all the more appreciative of my blood relatives I located earlier this year.
The day is drawing closer when I won't allow certain selfish new relations to block my contact with my several half Brothers and Sisters from two families. They deserve to decide for themselves whether they should associate with me.
Meanwhile I can look forward to my return to GRANTS PASS OREGON at some future point to actual meet several blood relatives eager to meet me. If I walked into some money I'd go buy a ticket tomorrow.
On to something more important than my personal woes.
I belatedly read email from DUKE from the TUNNEL RATS a few days ago. It turns out that a friend of his..a GOOD DAMN FRIEND went down with the airliner that crashed outside of Pittsburgh on the big day. His name was Jeremy..and his story was covered by most news agencies. He placed a cellphone call from the airplane in anticipation of he and some other passengers attacking 3 Arab male hijackers sporting red bandanas.
Oddly enough, while driving home through Texas the 5 of us heard the story on the radio of Jeremy and I was very impressed. I had no way to link him with a friend whom I had just seen and drank with for days.
In the midst of alot of fund raising requests..if anybody reads this and feels compelled to help Dukes friend's family I can put you in touch.
I've sat and listened by now (I've forced myself to) to several "apologists" for the WTC and Pentagon attacks. They all claim to be concerned for the victims and the families and friends of the victims who are going through living hell. They all claim some highbrow horseshit excuse for not retaliating citing a "cycle of hatred" that more deaths will only enhance.
Well, these folks are lucky to live in a country where they can express pacifist opinions in the face of an enemy that has CHOSEN to kill thousands of our people in mad-dog random fashion. Whereas I feel that some vocal pacifists are sincere and well meaning, I know goddamned well that a lot of them are naive boobs who pump themselves up by playing out the part of the "concerned campus radical".
What would these same people be saying if a group of Jerry Falwell loving hardline conservative Christians had hijacked a few planes bound for the Middle East and taken out several thousand random lives in the name of Jesus??? Their pigheaded political agenda depends on the U.S.A. ALWAYS being in the wrong.
Don't read me wrong..some people sincerely don't have the stomach to fight back even when they are personally threatened. They aren't bad people for that reason in my book.
I'm personally disgusted with naive peaceniks who can only find fault with AMERICAN'S and AMERICAN military and foreign policy. C'MON you dumbshits!! Fucking conservative Muslims would be 100 times tougher to deal with than any Republican you bellyache about here in the US.
I'm a fucking Agnostic...I KNOW how hard it is to deal with conservative Christians sometimes; but they're a piece of cake compared to conservative Muslims who have ZERO tolerance for use of drugs or alcohol. Hey all you gal's who are expressing your concern towards policy "mistakes" made in the past by the U.S. that the nobel terrorists are "responding" to..how'd you like to be forced to wear veils from head to toe?? it's NOT NEGOTIABLE in conservative Muslim countries. I feel choked to death often in the U.S. from all the laws, taxes, government approved religion, etc..but I'd be an idiot to expect anything but a quick execution from Osama Bin Laden and his ilk.
In spite of what you've heard at idealistic peace rallies, many..MANY times throughout world history a violent and lethal retaliation to an aggressor is often quite successful at nipping future problems in the bud. This is proven on schoolyards and in prisons on a daily basis. Look back to how pacifist strategies worked against Hitler to name the most obvious example. He laughed at the weaklings who thought they could negotiate with him.
Like I said..some people just aren't capable of lifting a hand to defend themselves. Fair enough. As pure and noble as these people may seem on the surface, we don't need them making decisions for us nationally at this point. They have the disposition of cows. Goddamned cows. And I AM NOT A FUCKING COW..goodnight.
9/20
We were called in to play with DEAD MOON at the last minute tonight. We owe Fred and Toody more than anyone else when it comes to longterm inspiration; even though we've been at it for over 20 years they've been at it much longer..and we all seeped out of the same Portland Oregon cesspool around 1980.
They kicked ass..and we played a non-aggresive set (minus Jimmy Satan who is still in Tennessee) intended to make the bookers think we are cooperative, pacifist music scene types. We are merely playing possum of course...
We learned our cat Jinx is a homosexual...Elvis says we knew it all along. We don't hold it against him.
This is Elvis's Birthday weekend...hopefully we'll go see the Phillies play tomorrow night....
I better go..I puked 3 times before we even got to the club. UUUURRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.......
P.S. Cosmo publicly blamed the recent disaster on Skandor Akbar and Sheik Adnon Al Kasie (Sp?) why didn't he recognize the role of the Iron Sheik in this calamity??
UUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
9/19
Hell, I'm not going to get sucked into dwelling on the war every day in this damned diary. When I feel inspired I'll do so..but really, I'M the star of this diary...I'M more important than the war..at least on this website.
I'm getting an unprecedented number of humongous leftwing propaganda emails. I only read a page or two out of 30-50. The article titles are right out of the enquirer in my book. Yunno, like the allegation that the Bush administration bombed the WTC so it could earn support for a campaign against poor innocent muslims. If our government is truly THAT EVIL and THAT MANIPULATIVE then we're doomed anyway. At the very least the dumbfucks that send me those emails would've been shutdown LONG AGO if our government was what they claim it is.
I don't care how corrupt, greedy or manipulative our politicains are..politicians and religious leaders and terrorist assholes from other countries are lying Motherfuckers too.
I Support President Bush in this crisis if for no other reason he's OUR lying motherfucker. He's OURS folks..and all you fucking jackass voters elected him. I DIDN'T vote for him..remember?? I'm the guy who refuses to vote until all you two party kneejerk fucks dump the two party screwjob and nominate a man of charachter...such as Governor Jessie.
I've finally had a chance to play some of the CD's bands gave me at the supershow. The pick of the litter so far is by a band called "SHIT" from San Antonio. It kicks ass and is funny. I love the color pic of the guys in the band all sucking down LONESTAR beer. That's the way band photos are supposed to be..not sensitive, moody, artschool pictures.
During our set in AUSTIN, our singer thee COSMIC COMMANDER of wrestling thought up a good bit to fuck with the heads of native Texan's in the room. He declared he was going to bring out their State flag to pay tribute to them..instead he pulled out a Puerto Rican flag..which looks a bit similar. When certain confused and angry members of the audience took offense he said "what does it matter? it probably looks the same to all you drunk fucks" or something to that effect. Some guys in front of the stage were getting steamed..so, Cosmo admitted he had been kidding..and whipped out a Texas flag. After waving it to coax a brief positive pop from the Texans..he proceeded to wipe his brow and his ass with it!! (he told me earlier he was going to burn it! that might've been going a bit too far) It was fun to try to spot which audience members were in on the joke..and which were really pissed. our last song was a tribute to the late great Texas wrestler Bruiser Brody..so we won most of the fans back anyway. It was our first time to play down there..and I suspect that some people didn't know that we always try to rile up yocal locals in a new town. That's OUR JOB.
Oh yeah....when we played "Hostile city USA" I looked over at Widowmaker and introduced us as being from "Hostile City Kansas". He beamed back his approval. Cocknoose had declared the city "Austin Kansas" the night before..so I was merely continuing along the same line of reasoning.
Two topnotch bands were inducted into the C.O.S. over the weekend: BEFORE I HANG and HAMMERLOCK. Both groups are like family members to me..so it was a pleasure to see 'em added to the fold.
I usually have to drink from 12 ounce cans. Recently Marla put her foot down about all the goddamnded cans laying around. She insisted I start buying returnable bottles. That went well for a few weeks..but there are only a few brands of beer to choose from that come in those cases..SCHAEFERS, GENNESSEE, Miller Genuine Draft and Rolling Rock. Those beers are all great..but I crave more variety. Today I found an upper shelf at my beer store (BELL BEVERAGE) that had cases of quarts and 40 ouncers. YEEHAW! They aren't returnable, but they aren't as big a mess as all those crushed up cans laying in piles and heaps. Also, remember: the bigger the drink the less often you have to get out of your chair to get another. I got a case of Miller high life quarts. UUUMMMM...UUMmmmmmm.
9/18
"God bless America" my ass!
"Bless America" or "go America!" or "fuck Osama Bin Laden!" are all OK with me..but it seems to me that people are missing the fact that a religious zealot is responsible for the turmoil our country is in. When you drag "god" into the equation it becomes an ugly "Christian vs. Muslim" war that I want no part of.
When Bush asked that all Christians, Muslims and Jews pray on their Friday lunch hour last week, I felt left out as an agnostic. And what about Atheists, Satanists, Pagans and other social outcasts?? Why are we left out?? HHMMM???
If Bush had suggested that those of us without churches to go to should spend a quiet hour meditating or have a couple belts of booze I would have answered the call of my country's President and made my way to MY HOUSE OF WORSHIP..a bar at the appointed hour.
No, I'm not trying to be funny. Well, maybe a little..but I'm trying to make a serious point here.
More than ever it's time to keep church and State seperate. MORE THAN EVER!!! There's a lesson to be learned from these fanatics ridiculous desire to martyr themselves so they can reach "paradise".
Don't get me wrong..if they want to go to "paradise" so bad lets help them!! Let's send to paradise as many of them that need to be annihilated to assure our future safety.
I'm not impressed by what I've seen written by most extreme-left people either. They seem to want to cite underlying political reasons why this could or should have been avoided. I say HORSESHIT!! They're just as wrong as the Christians with their "my god can beat up your god" attitude.
The Muslim religious kooks responsible for the attacks don't represent any nation. They didn't do it in the name of politics..they did it in the name of their god. They won't state what it is they want from the U.S....HELL! They won't even stand up and admit to the attack.
If one of my neighbors has a complaint with me they'd be much more likely to gain my cooperation by TELLING ME why they're upset instead of sneak attacking me with a baseball bat. I'm only going to get really pissed off once I get back on my feet. They're not going to get anywhere with a cowardly attack.
Anyway, It's disgusting to me the way that the left is trying to make a vague..VERY vague "see we told you so" statement which only exploits the death of thousands of people in my book.
The extreme left and right wings AND the more middle of the road Republican's and Democrat's..I couldn't identify with them for the above (and other) reasons BEFORE the attack..and nothing's changed.
I support and respect all the poor bastards in uniform who'll have to go dish out punishment in fucking ass-backwards Afghanistan. It's time to annihilate some stubborn, ignorant religious freaks..and I don't believe that prayer meetings are going to do a damned bit of good, but if you feel better about this situation by going to church..PLEASE DO SO!!! Just remember that there are a lot of us out here who resent attempts to make this a holy war from the American perspective.
One last point...I heard that the U.S. government has announced that henceforth military plans will be kept from the press. I'm relieved to hear that. That's the only way to seriously wage war.
Since getting home from Texas we've spent the last 3 days or so with Andi and Claudia from Bavaria. I'm still way the fuck behind on my email, my ebay listing, my running battle with billpoint, my writing (it's time to work two completed 1st draft books into more or less finished states..and I'm starting immediately no matter how busy I am in other ways) I have a half dozen phone calls to return and about 20 emails that require thoughtful responses rather than 2 sentence blow-offs.
It's time to grab some beers and wade into it.
9/16
ME AND ABDUL.
I've been an outsider my entire adult life. I hate network television and popular music. I don't believe in the god's that organized religions worship. NONE of them. Some of my friends are homosexuals of both sexes and satanists. I've only gotten excited by ONE politician in my adult lifetime (Jesse Ventura)...the rest are ALL either too moralistic, too obsessed with give-away programs, too this too that. Liberals think I'm a right winger...because I disagree with them. Likewise conservatives brand me as left wing. The U.S. has a stupid political system that guarantees that the best CAMPAIGNER'S will be elected instead of the best qualified to do the job. So, I steer clear of it all.
I have enough problems simply getting along with the dumbass moron's on our street to spend time worrying about national or international affairs for the most part.
I've had problems at most of my jobs over the years getting along with the boobs I'm stuck working with. Whether they're old ladies or college age guys I'm such a weirdo by their standards that I can't be myself or communicate my true thoughts without attracting attention or being branded a kook.
A long time ago during the Iran hostage crisis I was at a low point in my work history working for goddamned Radio Shack. Yep, that's right. It's the only place I could get hired at due to my being in a constant beaten down, depressed frame of mind when it came to jobhunt's.
By the time I had spent a couple years with them working at a busy mall store and a rural store with little business the division managers decided to transfer me to the store that the district office was located at. This was where they eventually sent all weirdo's. The store manager was a homosexual....the assistant manager was black. Both were considered as such suspicious characters. I was suspicious due to my short, dyed black, slicked back hair and loud hot pink and purple shirts that I wore with vintage 1950's ties that were obnoxious even to me. My trousers and shoes usually cost about 50 cents each at a local thriftstore. I was a great salesman, but they were suspicious enough of my ways that they wanted to be able to check me out on a daily basis.
Like I said..the Iran hostage crisis was in full swing; so I wasn't surprised when they transferred to our "nuthouse" store a full blooded Iranian guy. His name was Abdul.
What a foursome we were...
A "fucking faggot", a "goddamned nigger" a "fucking punkrock faggot" and an "Ay-rab bastard".
Wouldn't you know it..we ALL got along just fine.
It was pure bliss to work with those guys compared to the "normal" dickheads at the other stores. We were all OUTSIDERS of different types; we KNEW THAT..and bonded together.
We'd cover for one another if one of us was late or needed to call in sick with a hangover. On Saturdays when the district office was closed we'd bring beer and booze to the store and take turns drinking while one guy handled the customers. When it was time to inventory the store we'd get shitfaced and end up cheating and making up numbers so that we could get back to our drinking.
Abdul looked and talked like other Iranian students. When asshole customers would start giving him a hard time, one of us fellow freaks would step in and solve the problem so that he wouldn't get into trouble. Likewise when some prick had a problem with Butch's blackness or my goofy wardrobe Abdul would step in.
We never discussed the fact that we watched out for each other..it just happened.
I've never set out to be a social crusader. But I've wound up a few times over the years standing up for various "outsider" co-workers. I led a brief rebellion of Filipino employees working with me for Chief Auto Part's in L.A. They befriended me and shared their food with me. I became so dedicated to watching their back's in return that In the end I wound up quitting my job over the way that they were being illegally exploited to do things outside out of the job description.
I've wound up aligning myself with other "weirdo" non-christian/straight/anglo co-workers over the years. I don't feel I need to cite every instance.
You know what??? At other jobs I've befriended jocks, Michael J. Fox types, white-trash, etc. because for some reason they treated me right.
I wonder during all this anti-Arab sentiment what the hell ever happened to Abdul?? He was a damned nice guy..and he had as little interest in religion and politics as I do. Somewhere tonight, is some mis-guided "patriot" throwing eggs and shit at his house...are old ladies swinging their purses at him? are "Beavis and Butthead" types giving him the finger??
What about the Saudi and Iranian guys I used to play chess with about the same time I knew Abdul?? Are they dead and buried under some sandy middle-East battlefield?? Or are they alive somewhere in the U.S. scared shitless because mis-guided dumbfucks with good intentions are taking cheap shots at any Arab they can find?? How about Iranian immigrant Lily and her Father and Uncle who all worked at the same Sears store with me in North Hollywood...do they still work there?? Are total strangers walking up to them and spitting at them?? Their family was as gung-ho American as most you'll ever meet. THEY LOVED America!! By moving here their lives were saved from a crappy muslim-law existance.
I hope the U.S. strings that terrorist leader clown up by his own towel. Life would be hell in a world where his values are enforced. Likewise, life would be nothing but worse if conservative christian values were shoved down our throats any more than they are.
Anybody who wipes out so many lives randomly needs to be taken down..no matter who he is or what non-existant statue he prays to. It's a state of war..and I don't care if they bother to take him prisoner. I likewise don't care if some so-called "innocent" people around him are killed too. Anyone around him should feel forewarned. If a massive strike is made now it might discourage a repetition of gutless sneak attacks within our borders. I value MY FUTURE SAFETY. I don't care how many Afghan's or assorted nut-case conservative muslims from the nations of the world have to die to get the point across.
But for fuck's sake...leave Abdul and Lily and other nice people out of it. Leave it to law enforcement people to mete out punishment and terror as neccessary. They get PAID to know the difference between solid citizen's and terrorists in disguise.
That leaves you and me free to crack open a bottle or two and settle back to watch the round-the-clock news coverage. I think I'm gonna go do that right now in fact.
9/14
It's early Friday evening and we just got back from Texas. I suppose we're the last people to make it home from the C.O.S. supershow. We were supposed to fly home on Wednesday, but when the news broke on Tuesday we were in possession of a rental car; we kept it (smart move) and obtained permission from the rental car company to return it up here essentially without penalty. We even were refunded for half of our ticket expense. We picked up Jimmy Satan and his girlfriend who were also stranded and crammed into the tiny car to drive home.
It was a helluva trip with the world seeming to be falling apart back up North. I resolved to have fun. We didn't make a marathon trip out of it..it was miserable with 5 of us in a tiny Mazda. We stayed over in Texarkana and ate at a Texas steak house. It was a fine feed. The next day we made it to Nashville where it just so happened our passengers needed to be at a wedding early next week. We left them with the bride and groom after a night of in depth boozing at "Roberts Western world" behind the old Ryman auditorium. We literally followed Hank's footsteps through the alley he got drunk in so many times. Porter Wagoner of course shot a couple album covers back there for that matter....and Nat Stuckey too if my memory is correct.
We saw a country band that mostly consisted of a rotating group of kickass musicians..they played for 4 hours. They knew about 40% of the requests we demanded! A great night that got our minds off our woes. The next morning with a BAD hangover I went with Marla and Elvis to the new Country music hall of fame. We rushed through..but enjoyed it alot anyway. Definetly worth driving 500 miles or so to see if not more.
Afterwards we got a late start heading East. We made it to Roanoake where I drank in a motel room for the umpteenth night in a row. It's fun..I could live in one. Of course my Wife and Son think I'm nut's..which I am.
We barely missed Andi and Claudia from Germany..they were here at 6:00 and we got home at 7:00. Whoops..I'm now told they're on their way over. Gotta write about the incredibly great supershow tomorrow. Everybody said it was the best yet.
Thanks to everybody that left a phone message or email of concern..I was amazed that several people did. We were inconvenienced, but WHAT THE HELL....I'm still not sure we didn't lose a friend or two trapped at the WTC. We know a lot of people in NYC.
I wonder how many workers were browbeaten by ruthless bosses to stay in the building after the 1st crash to continue working?? Most of my old ones would have for sure.
I bellyache about the religious zealots of the world all the time..now do those of you who have doubted me understand?? Don't make it worse by subscribing to "our" nutcase zealots like Jerry Falwell.
Haven't I consistently and repeatedly blamed in this diary organized religion for the vast majority of wars throughout world history?? This is just the latest case..well, gotta go.
9/3
I've got to restrain myself from getting carried away lengthwise..I've got to hit the hay a couple hours early in preperation for a different schedule starting in a couple days when we arrive in Texas for the 2001 C.O.S. Supershow.
Luckily this diary won't be stopped by the fact that I'm a damn long ways from Hostile City USA. I can go to KINKO's and post all the entry's I feel like posting.
Didn't Jerry Lewis look pathetic this weekend??
I'm a big fan...and I'll cry buckets when he finally goes. I won't shed a teaspoonful during his telethon promo's though. Not that they weren't good..
I hate politics and politicians. I can't help but develope opinions since I'm such a big talkshow listener. I even listen to shows I disagree with which is the mark of a mighty brain.
Thought for the day....
Imagine yourself at a pigroast. The party just ran out of beer. There are 20 or so guests. A couple big shots who everybody knows have a lot of money are in attendance..also a few totally broke people..and a dozen or so in between.
An enterprising person gathers donatations for a couple more kegs to keep the party going. The well heeled people kick in $20 a head..the "middle" people mostly chip in $5 to $10 a head..the people without money don't contribute.
An hour later the volunteers to pick up the beer show up. They picked up a couple fucking kegs..HOORAY!!
They also wound up with $50 left over...
So, WHO DO THEY GIVE THE MONEY TO???
If you say the people who contributed no money in the first place, you are a pathetic kneejerk liberal borderline-commie. Fuckyou. If you said the people who contributed money will be paid back money based on the ammounts they contributed, you are in total agreement with the way I'd split up the money. Why should those who didn't contribute receive a portion of the money left over?? Because they are jealous and greedy??
I'm not a Republican..I'm not a Democrat..I'm not even a Libertarian. I'm fucking thankful for the rebate I received from the current Presidential administration..it's going to make a big difference in our lives. If somebody else paid 10 times more or 100 times more in taxes and receives 10 or 100 times more than me as a tax rebate than so be it; they have it coming to them.
People that didn't pay taxes have NOTHING coming to them..it's a TAX rebate..go eat your government cheese and quit bitching. As my Mother used to say (and it was one of the only wise things she ever used to repeatedly say) "beggars can't be chooser's". Is it a biblical reference?? I dunno, but it's true. Be happy for the handout you already got and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
That's my opinion. I don't expect people to all enjoy the same wealth and life style..because some people frankly work harder. I've lived off of candybars and rice before..when I felt lazy. I had no cause to complain. When I wanted to live better I went out and got a goddamned job. Which I HATED....but it's neccessary I'm afraid for most of us to survive.
Don't you dare try to peg me as a Republican..they hate my guts. I wipe my ass with bible pages..they won't have me. So, if you disagree with me and are looking for a way to pigeonhole me you're going to have to be more imaginative.
I hate the fact that as a card carrying columnist I'm expected to express political opinions..but it's part of the game I guess.
Fuck....the only REALLY important issue is getting drunk. I hope the people reading this who show up in Austin at the C.O.S. Supershow approach me and hand me with a fifth of Rebel Yell..but I won't be surprised if they worry about their own survival first.
Damn..my asshole itches from this "Schaefer" beer. Marla ordered me to turn to returnable bottles..I need a brand of beer that doesn't make my bunghole itch like fireant's.
AAAHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
9/1
I still haven't finally snapped or been dragged off to the fucking boobyhatch....but then again on the other hand I still haven't gotten anywhere with those dirty thieving bastards from billpoint. I got an email today..brief and to the point. It told me (since it was computer generated and in response to my stated 3rd recent email to them) that "nothing further is needed" from me at this time.
Oh swell. What if you were to return a toaster to Sears. You explain that the toaster short circuited and almost burnt your fucking house down..and the "customer service" employee replies "nothing further is needed from you at this time". You'd blow a gasket, wouldn't you??
What if the clerk at 7-11 gave you a few bucks in change too many in error. What if they sent a goon squad to kick your door down and rip your wallet out of your pants..
"we are taking $141.50"...
Then, they came back a few days later to take some more.
This is what I'm up against. Where does it end??
When will these fuckers wake up and respond to my emails?? Will they??
The bank is closed until Tuesday, so I get to stew about it all weekend. Happy Labor day Motherfucker.
FUCK your goddamn labor day.
I tell you what...we got our tax rebate from "King George II" as some of his smartass detractors like to call him. I don't particularly like the dude..but at least we got a bit of our money back instead of having it blown on cause-oriented horseshit.
Fuck Al Gore. The projects they built down the street last year look like a luxury condo. There's NO QUESTION that I'd happily trade places with the people that live there.
What really gauls me is the units are turned over to people evidently for life!! I can sympathize with some temporary help for those down on their luck...but FUCK!! A helping hand yeah..but a permanent gravy train?? fuck no!
I've told the story before about driving through San Francisco with Travis and Liza from HAMMERLOCK. I gazed slackjawed as we passed a beautiful gleeming highrise apartment building. "My Mother visited..and she asked us why we don't live in a nice place like that!" Travis chuckled. The punchline is that it was a brand new "project".
Of course alot of housing projects look like shit..but what do you expect when you depend on charity?? I'd feel lucky to have a free place to pitch a tent. We have neighbors who live in tiny roach ridden dumps that pay taxes to build the brand new highrise units that are granted on longterm basis to luckier poor folks.
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