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Diary Archive: 10-19-04 to 12-30-04

whiskeyrebel@whiskeyrebel.com

12/30/04

YEAR END ROUND UP.

First off, the biggest hoax of the entire year is the sudden nauseating and very PUBLIC wave of "concern" since the big ass tsunami hit. Thousands of people die in that part of the world everyday..what's new??

Don't get me wrong..if you're the type who cares year round about world hunger, the massive number of aids deaths, etc. I'm not attacking YOU.

If you're a bandwagon jumper out thumping your chest..suggesting I donate to the victims...GET OUT OF MY FACE. Show that YOU care for a couple years on a daily basis and then come around.

Of course all the "concerned" politicians are flapping their jaws about tsunami warning systems; it seems to me that since the damn things hit so rarely it'd be wiser to spend the money assisting people who are dying daily NOW in other ways.

It's just a sign of our times that people seem to think that no death can take place without a new law or two being passed...and enough money spent to convince voters that politicians are doing their jobs.

Personally, as sick as you may think I am...I DON'T FEEL SORROW over a big body count many thousands of miles away. I'm not proud of my lack of compassion..I'm just being honest. I have my own problems to deal with. My life is not an easy, happy one. Just getting along with all you humanoids on a daily basis is time consuming.

On the other hand..I felt sorrow immediately over the 9/11 victims and their families. Why?? It's simnple. I've spent a reasonable amount of time in NYC. I've been to the spot where the WTC was. I know a lot of New Yorkers.

On the other hand...I hated my one visit to D.C....and never established any friendships there. Perhaps as a result I don't ever think of the 9/11 disaster at the pentagon. It just never crosses my mind.

Again..I'm not proud of that. I'm just stating the truth. I'm sure the victims in D.C. are very missed by their families. My attention is just naturally drawn to NYC...and of course tragic doings closer to home.

Anyway, everybody talks about how concerned they are after disasters..for a week or two. Most people I know and have known over my lifetime don't REALLY care..they just say they do. If you think I'm full of shit..PROVE ME WRONG. Tell me 6 months from now you still think about the tsunami victims on a regular basis.

Alright. ALBUM OF THE YEAR. There were several fine, fine C.O.S. band releases this year..and they always rank highly. The live Wayne Hancock CD was great. Of course you'd expect me to pick from those obvious favorites of mine..but you're in for a surprise. The absolute best CD of the year probably by unanimous choice by we Irwin's is the "ZOLAR X" retrospective "Timeless" released by Alternative Tentacles.

I really, really suggest you find a copy of this. The recordings were released on a very, VERY obscure level for the most part in the 70's and early 80's. Zolar X spanned the glam and punk eras nicely. They combined the energy and melodic hooks of the loudest stuff by Bowie and the Sweet with a unique batch of in charachter lyrics written by an..uh.. eccentric band leader. ZOLAR X stomps the living hell out of slower, more commercially viable bands like Kiss. It's a top notch combination of the better aspects of metal, glam (REAL 70's glam..not the bogus 80's crap) and early punk rock.

ZOLAR X's look was their strong suit. The CD and LP packages both show tons of photos. These guys looked like a cross between the Spiders from Mars and the goddamned Teletubbies!! I kid you not!

Evidently they were famous for staying in charachter. WOW! I wish I had seen them play live. BUY THIS DAMN CD (no...Jello didn't put me up to this).

WRESTLER of the year: Eddie Guererro. Best new wrestler..Gene Schnitzky (sp?). It's been a bad year for wrestling. On a scale of 1-10 about a minus -3.

BOOK OF THE YEAR: "first off the tee" by Don Van Natta Jr.

I think it was first published a couple years ago...but our library just got it this year. That's new enough for me. This book details the golf habits of all the Presidents since Harding (only 3 didn't golf). It'll tell you more about politics than golf of course.

RADIO SHOW of the year: Phil Hendrie (syndicated show from L.A.). Once again he's the King. Funnier than TV. Funnier than even Stern in his prime. Maybe the funniest radio show ever for people like me with a cynics sense of humor.

RADIO TALK SHOW: Neal Boortz (syndicated from Atlanta). He uses his button to shut up callers who try to snowball him with a barrage of banter the same way I would. You can't tell off callers any better than Boortz does without cussing them out. A "good" Libertarian as opposed to the ones who make me wonder why I registered as one of their party members.

WEB SITE of the year: THIS ONE stupid.

2nd place WEB SITE: Kayfabe memories.com

An amazing website simply LOADED with enough reading to last a wrestling fan weeks. You won't be disappointed.

POLITICIAN of the year: __________...sorry! no one qualified!

TV EPISODE of the year: SOUTH PARK's "woodland critters" Xmas show. You've got to see it...all the little soft little creatures of the forrest like bunnies and squirrels and huggy bears reveal their satanic impulses at Christmas time.

MOVIE of the year: "Spiderman II"..it has to be my pick..it was the only movie I saw in a theatre. It was good though...very good.

CHESS GAME of the year: Goldin vs. Stripunsky U.S. championship final round. I watched it live on the net. Stripunsky's attack was blistering. Goldin defended well. At one point every piece on the board was hanging. One for the ages.

DUMBEST COMMERCIAL of the year: The one for some sort of candy in which a couple guys get their asses stuck in a long metal pipe?!?!?! I don't get it. I don't understand quite a few commercials these days because they're either too abstract or they're what we call "hop around" commercials that match the putrid attention span of young Americans by deliberately not focusing on any image for more than a split second.

BEST TV COOKING SHOW: "Good eats". This show has certainly surpassed poor Emeril and his catch phrases..and the new American version of Iron Chef blows beets. I've read lengthy interviews with host Alton Brown and he sure as hell has a fresh take on cooking shows. Each show is like a short film. The true brilliance of this show is the fact that even I have been able to employ some of his simple common sense methods.

PET PEEVE HATE of the year: Cell phone users!!! GOD DAMN I HATE THEM! I fucking HATE watching peoples facial expressions that accompany their verbal drivel. Evidently I'm the last dumb bastard who hasn't run out and bought one. My Wife and #1 Son both have 'em though. Fuck off ALL OF YOU.

MOST AMAZING UNSOLICITED JUNK ON THE INTERNET: The pop up add for an antispam device that WON'T GO AWAY from my email screen. Am I the only one who appreciates the irony of this??

VIDEO GAME of the year: Tiger Woods 2005. Actually, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas is way better action wise and refreshingly violent..but it gives me motion sickness like a lot of other games of this sort. The new Tiger Woods golf game is an incredible value. The courses look so realistic I hardly feel bad about sitting on my ass indoors most of the time.

BIGGEST CHANGE IN MY PERSONAL LIFE: I no longer talk on the phone. At one time I talked for 2-3 hours per night. Now I rarely do. I don't even monitor the phone messages very often. Now I write in a secluded room and study chess.

I might add more to this next time. I've got to go get ready for my chess tournament in San Antonio..the 5 round New Years open. Wish me luck...uurrp.

12/28/04

Yeah, I've been an agnostic for most of my life. Still, like lots of other non-christian folks in the U.S. I participate in the Christmas hoopla that takes place every year. It's not about Jesus..it's not about Santa (well it's more about Santa than Jesus in our home) it's about workers having a couple DAYS OFF from work..I even took a few nights off from Ebay. It's also about getting sauced repeatedly for a period of a few weeks ranging from early Xmas parties to New years day while cramming your gut with festive holiday foods.

It's about hanging out with relatives. In addition to spending rare time with loved ones rarely seen throughout the year, it's also unfortunately about seeing asshole relations you don't want to see.

It's a bitter sweet holiday complete with Christmas bonuses and in some cases unwanted Christmas layoffs. It's about receiving cheerful Christmas cards..and then cussing out loud because you forgot to send one to the sender.

It's a rare time for divorced parents to see their kids..and run up their credit cards buying gifts to try to prove they "love" the brats more than the other parent.

It's a time where TV and radio is saturated with overplayed, hokey, bad music and Xmas episodes that really suck when you think about it.

It's a time for the lonely alkies and drug monsters to gather in the handful of losers lounges that remain open to get plastered.

It's an inescapable holiday season that you may as well learn to come to grips with in some way unless you are a recluse to a magnitude I've never explored. I know of a lot of infamous non-christian people..musicians, writers, etc. who celebrate Christmas to a level that you might have a hard time believing.

There's nothing hypocritical about that. Even members of management and devout union and commie haters take labor day off. Who among us non believing heathens haven't crammed their faces with Easter candy or dragged Mother out to breakfast at some over crowded glorified pancake house on that lovely holiday?? HHMM??

I indulge in a few personal holiday pleasures just for the hell of it. A year round beer and shot drinker, I drink mixed drinks often this time of year...like Seagrams 7 and ginger ale or squirt. What the hell?? We have tons of Xmas lights strung up everywhere. I like 'em. This is the time of year it gets dark early. They're pretty handy to brighten things up a bit. I can suspend my bitter agnosticism long enough to have a laugh or two watching our goddamned cats open "presents" containing their favorite narcotic..catnip. Is that a contradiction of my alleged "evil" philosophical beliefs??

I had a horrid upbringing for the most part thanks to my parents radical fundamentalist church. Should I be too pissed off to eat little spritely spritz cookies at 6:00 a.m. when I'm preparing to sleep off another drinking bout? Christmas was one of the good times of the year when I was growing up. The christians were on their best behavior and made an effort (unconvincing as it was) to declare love for all of mankind. HAH!!

Some people bitch about the commercialism of Christmas..I say BAH HUM BUG!! That's one of the GOOD aspects of it. I've always loved getting gifts and can't remember giving one I didn't feel like giving. It's a nice, quaint but positive custom.

You may think I've flipped my wig, but I think noisy atheists who kvetch about public Christmas decor or crosses posted on hills over looking their home towns make asses of themselves. Where are these people the rest of the year?? Why aren't they fighting the Christians in August or February?? If they were really committed we'd see them year round instead of only this time of year taking cheap shots for media attention.

If you're truly a commited heathen (and I know of a few who read this diary regularly) I suggest you walk the walk year round and not just try to piss on a rather harmless holiday that in actuality twists religious hokum into a ritual of bacchanalial indulgence. If you actually are able to ignore all the trappings of Xmas...and express your loathing of Christianity and it's assinine symbols year around...well, I admire your individuality. I don't see how you're able to pull it off...although I've been around drug users with habits who came damned close; most of them wound up at Mom's place on Christmas eve though.

Bottom line: I suggest you emulate our wise dumbass cats Dixie and Mr. Jinx...and just suck up whatever holiday treats come your way. Cram your gut with available food...drink with gusto. Accept gifts that come your way. Gaze at the pretty little colored lights. You don't need to take it anymore seriously than Dixie who has never heard of Jesus H. Christ...and gets so wiped on catnip he ends up trying to eat pine needles from the frigging Xmas tree.

12/24/04

It'll be a cold damned Xmas here in Texas. We've got a bigassed orange tarp covering our lovely cactuses (cacti?). We've got plenty of booze to hold us whether it's 70 above or below...so what the hell.

We have lovely, spritely, music to fill our hearts with glad tidings...the brand spanking new ANTISEEN cd "Badwill ambassadors". It is big, bad, mean spirited, totally unapologetic and refreshingly "offensive" in all the right ways. The riffs set my toe to tapping and my beard sways in time to the music as my head bobs around...a slave to the beat.

It's available from the fine TKO label and you just may want to seek it out with a chunk of Xmas $$$$$ you get from selling that dumbass looking sweater your Mom buys you.

We prepared for our annual Irwin Xmas "car 54 where are you?" marathon with a mini marathon of Sgt. Bilko episodes last night. I'll be damned if a careful drunken study of the shows closing credits didn't reveal the fact that Bilko was written and produced by Nat Hiken who was the main man on the Car 54 show.

If your only frame of reference for the 2 shows is the modern movie remakes..you really don't have any idea how great these shows both are.

Elvis told me a story that Bill Griffith (Zippy the Pinheads creator..HHmm..2 Zip references in 2 diary entries) related somewhere (?!?) about a lady wearing a T-shirt with Bilko's Phil Silvers lovely face on the front on a trip to Tibet. It seems that the ignorant locals became outraged assuming that Bilko's mug was actually that of the frigging Dali Lama (sp?). Hey Bilko fans..wouldn't that have been a great plot for an episode??

Oh dearie me..I hope I'm not offending any George Harrison fans.

If so, I hope you come back in your next life as a hunk of corn in my day after Xmas shit.

Oh shit...I'm not being very jolly, am I?

I'll be very jolly tomorrow as we get plastered and celebrate the TRUE meaning of December 25th; it's the anniversary of the death of a very, very great man..the consumate cool guy DEAN MARTIN. We'll crank out his great renditions of "Houston", "standing on the corner (watching all the girls go by)", "little ole winemaker me", "memories are made of this", "everybody loves somebody some time", "volare" and of course the anthem "that's amore". We'll knock back tribute shot after tribute after tribute shot...and sing along horribly out of key and laugh...LAUGH. Then, we'll pour more and start all over again. I don't wear tuxes like Dean and Frank and the boys did....but I'll put on a clean T-shirt out of respect.

If you don't like Dino, RAM IT UP YER Dolly Llama lovin' rump.

Say, did you know that "swami" rhymes with "salami"??

And this from Elvis: "how many buddists does it take to slaughter a sacred cow"?? ANSWER: "I dunno..but they sure do look funny!"

UUURRRPPP. HO HO HO.

As my Daddy used to say (believe it or not..he really did) "may the bird of happiness crap on your Christmas pie".

Speaking of Daddy...when he first married dear Mother a half century ago he got dragged out to all her nutty Scandahoovian relatives homes. He told me about how all the old heads would sit around noisily slurping up this smelly, fishy mess called "lute fisk". They evidently took this traditional slop very seriously and would be so overwhelmed by the delectable decomposed sardine like flavor that juices would accumulate on their miserable old chins. Hearing that I used to always feel glad that I was adopted.

12/21/04

As Uncle Goddamn himself once said..GODAMN. I just read over the new Carbon 14 "PUKE SPIT & GUTS" interview photo-fest I helped with..and it makes my whole damn week. It's rewarding in its way of course for me to write columns and diary entries to blabber all my thoughts and wacky notions..it feels way better to spread the word about a band so great.

They are already beloved by family and friends who remember the PSG project..and of course by likely any of the record collectors lucky enough to own their precious album..but they deserve more; WAY THE HELL more.

You need to read the interview with the man known formerly as Donnie Death and look at the pictures to get the full gist of what I'm saying. THEN you'll know what influence they've had on my life.

If you're a regular Carbon 14 reader..you're in for a treat. If not, you'd better go to their website and figure out how to order a copy or find a store that sells it in your area.

My column on love and romance in this issue ends with a thought that has been on my mind quite a bit all this calender year: you CAN'T judge people simply by dumbly taking them at their word.

Frankly, I didn't remember making that statement. I've been kicking around an idea in my head to write something here to that same effect based on my recent reading of the Green River murders book by one of my favorite authors Ann Rule.

Ol' Green River was able to get away with chalking up serial killer numbers that make even his fellow Washingtonian Ted Bundy look sick (indeed Ms. Rule says he made her old "pal" Ted look like a "piker"). He did so because he 1) didn't have the need to brag or tell anybody what he was doing and 2) he seemed like such a dork that most of the detectives who checked him out in the 80's thought he seemed too square and too much a rube to be a vicious strangler.

You just can't judge a book by it's cover the tired old bromide goes.

It's the flat out truth.

I was a damned poor judge of charachter up until I was in my late 20's or so. Up until then I had a lot of leeches in my life who had me conned into buying beer regularly for them and accepting their bullshit spiels as the truth.

I eventually wised up with age..although not ALL people ever become accurate judges of people merely by getting older. Age helps thought. Getting burned a few times is an effective training tool..although it's not enough for some people who never learn.

I suggest that while you're at the book store picking up a copy of Carbon 14 that you also snag a copy of Ann Rule's book. If THAT doesn't wise you up..you're probably just a natural born rube. When some two or three or four faced puke burns you (and rest assured at least one will) I hope for your sake it's just for money. If I had a Daughter..I'd do everything I could to get her to read this book.

HEY! I talked to Mom (my adopted one...who raised me) on the phone the other night. We had a good talk. We discussed Dean Martin and an old Al Hirt record that's very good. We DIDN"T discuss religion at all. She didn't slip once. She's been conditioned to keep her (with all due respect) damned yap shut about that. It's taken her until she's over 80 years old to finally realize that she only drove me away with her constant preaching.

A lot of you reading this will be subjected to judgemental rants from domineering relatives this coming holiday. I really do strongly suggest that if you're sick of it you put your foot down...quit being a damned pussy!! Don't wear that dumbass looking Christmas sweater one of 'em bought you if you don't want to!! GROW THE FUCK UP!! Turn the tables....go on the offensive. As we chess players say, take the INITIATIVE! If you wind up storming out of some family gathering realize that by standing up for yourself NOW you'll be saving yourself trouble down the road.

Simply go home..get a bottle or a smut DVD or a handful of sweet sweet pills or a VHS tape of "Mr. Ed" and blast off. Don't wallow in their world. You're not a little child even though they may treat you like one. FUCK THEM.

Go back when they're deserving of your respect. Stick to your guns. Email me if you need any specific help. YES..I've helped total strangers with these sort of situations before believe it or not.

Elvis's quotation of the day (think about it): "reality is a sandwich I did not order"....Zippy the Pinhead.

12/16/04

BE A MAN..BREAK UP YOUR BAND

Oh, if only more people would bite the bullet and pull the plug for good on their musical hobby. What a wonderful world this COULD be. The problem with the old punk rock / New wave notion of "hey...ANYBODY can be in a band" is the fact that unfortunately so many people thought that was such a cool idea that it's rare for me to meet anybody under the age of 40 who hasn't been in a band or two at least at one time or another.

What's wrong with that you ask?? The problem is that there's only so many clubs and promoters and the way things work lots of putrid bands that are unoriginal, tasteless and downright useless wind up being booked regularly because they have terrific ass kissing, schmoozing skills in spite of their lack of musical worth.

In so many cities I've been to the whole club/schmooze/booker/crappy band/ass-kiss thing has produced such an array of low quality bands being booked consistently that it's just a big sick fucking JOKE. I wish somebody could pull the plug on it since it's rare...DAMN rare...that decent bands receive the attention they deserve.

In a way, I CAN'T BLAME all the lethargic former music fans who only go out twice a year or so to see some band from 20 years ago go through the reunion motions. It's just a bad gamble in almost any city in this country that when you go out to see local bands on any given night in any given club the bands are gonna sound like 3rd rate knockoffs of bands you hated years ago.

Oddly enough the tar pit of mediocrity that rock and roll has sunk into parallels that of the Professional wrestling scene. HEY!! If you're a "musician" (and I bet 95% of the people reading this fancy themselves part of some frigging stale band) and a wrestling fan too..why don't you subject your band and other bands in your burg to the same sort of anal exam given by armchair internet wrestling "experts" week in and week out??

Do you ever subject your own bands performances to the same 1-5 star ***** rating system that you judge wrestling matches by?? HHMMM??

Of course not. If you did you'd likely throw in the towel and make a little room in the pool for the few bands left with some potential for exciting audiences for a change.

Now look...I know a lot of people from bands that are actually good read this "wisdom" I spew out. I DON'T MEAN YOU pally; you KNOW who I'm talking to..OK??

Having played in the same damned bands for 24+ and 16+ years I can't help but point out in the interest of fairness that yes..I DO regularly subject my bands to quality inspections on a show by show basis. I've been doing this so long that when I judge mid-set that we've screwed up to some extent I know right there on stage it's time to pull a rabbit out of the old hat and do something over the fucking top to save the show. We don't always turn it around...but we do more often than not by sheer power of the will. It's part of my conscious SCHTICK to make people think I'm braindead on stage but I'm always thinking...well, OFTEN thinking.

When it comes to rock and roll the GOOD ones know how to think on their feet...know how to take even a bit of adversity and turn it into something entertaining. For instance....I know of a few guitar icons who change strings so fast in the middle of a song that I suspect some of them deliberately break 'em. Dick Dale is one of 'em.

Most of you just bore the audience during a string change..if that's you..maybe it's a sign you need to quit?

You know what?? I can truly say that you don't have to like my damned band to be my friend. For the last 24 years I've been taking heat from my old pal Mike McNally about how shitty we are. I've met like scores of folks over the years who enjoy what we do..but reveal that their spouses or bed partners fucking HATE IT. That's fine. LOVE IT OR HATE IT. That's the way it always is with our bands. Which is one reason I know we're doing ok.

The vast majority of of the huge herd of derivative, pretentious band projects aren't loved or hated..they're simply there...filling in with some sonic racket at some club cuz somebody in the band either literally blew the booker or..in some cases sweet talked them and got a booking without getting their knees dirty.

HEY!! A HOLIDAY OFFER! BREAK UP YOUR BAND..AND RECEIVE A $2 DISCOUNT ON A CD OF YOUR CHOICE FROM MY EBAY STORE!! Offer expires 01/01/05..so get busy and flush YOUR band down the rock 'n roll fraud toilet today!

12/14/04

Here's some new developements around here. OK...my swell Wife got us a King sized bed. For some reason that seemed to coincide with us completely reorganizing the house. We got rid of our sectional "pimp" couch. That meant we moved the TV and me and Elvis's thrones to the living room by the fireplace. That created room in our former "entertainment" room for our computers. It's now the "computer room". That's the room I'm writing in now. I'm facing a wall that part of the old couch sat up against. Magically, directly in front of me are 2 framed Elvis Presley photos and a tapestry. I have to look to the side to see out the window. This has somehow effected my writing.

I'm writing like crazy...so much that it seems like I should have noticed a slowness in production being in the old spot by a front window. Now instead of gazing at old farts walking up and down the block for their excercise I can enjoy staring at our two cactus's which are getting to be damned tall.

Since we don't have the pimp couch when a fella gets sleepy around here he can either flop on the bed or drink coffee. Our thrones don't recline. As a result me and Elvis's sleep schedules are becoming shockingly NORMAL without us consciously trying to make any change. I leap out of bed about noon feeling rested instead of rolling off the killer futon cussing at 3:30 or 4:00 looking forward to a panic trip to the post office.

Elvis just turned in at 3:00 a.m. even though his classes are over and he doesn't work tomorrow. For years he'd be staying up with the PS2 'til past dawn. Nope. Why?? He got up about 8:30....and by noon had run errands, eaten, done a crossword puzzle, etc. As for me..I was in Austin by 2:00 p.m. hitting the thrifts. I'll likely rack out about 5:00 a.m....compared to 8 or 9.

We recorded 6 A.U. songs the other night. We'll do 6 or 7 more and have a full length release. Marla and I did our usual jobs. It's fun to watch Mark play and sing since he's both talented and experienced (we share the vocal duties). It's easier to see and hear what the fuck he's doing with A.U. than R.V. due to the nature of the music. Our secret weapon drummer is Elvis. We ordered a drum kit by mail and he picked it up damned fast..faster than anybody I've ever seen. He missed a few beats in the 6 songs but it can be easily edited..just like sour notes by me. He crooned a song too in a groovy vodka fueled manner. I won't disclose the entire batch of songs we nailed..but I can reveal that we did a version of "Drunk" a classic old R&B number (when R&B fucking MEANT R&B in 1951) by Jimmy Liggins.

I made a meat loaf the other day for the first time in maybe a year. I ate the first hamburger I've had in a few months the same day. My fling with ground beef only lasted that one day. I literally HEAVED brackish liquid out of my butt...making a couple dangerous dances to the bathroom. The waters of the stool were as turbulent and treacherous as a mans poo poo could make them. How in the hell did I ever eat the stuff day in and day out??

Hey...I'm not down on beef; it tasted GREAT. I just had to swear off it for the time being. Come visit me and I'll make YOU a meat loaf (wait for an invitation of course!! ).

Damn. I'm in too good a mood to continue this journal today. Everything I write seems a bit too cheery. I don't like reading it back off the page. I'm leery of being cheery...dearie.

12/08/04

Sometimes I watch informercials for the hell of it. I got into the habit by hanging around with my weird son Elvis. I've learned to howl with laughter at a couple of these particularly cheesey sales productions. I just saw one for the first time that made me want to storm over to this computer and tell the world how pissed off I am at the LIES being spread by the fucking dickheads squawking into the TV cameras.

Yep...you guessed it (maybe); I just saw the Ebay infomercial by the bizarre looking..BAD acting "power seller" dude who looks like his eyes were blackened the night before the shoot by a rough gay lover.

I hope none of my jolly gay friends take offense. My point is to try to convey how bizarre and out of sorts and disturbed this guy seems to be behind and beyond his bogus, full of shit and lies script. Of course for all I know he's a paid actor...but if he was..why would they hire such a fucked up dude to con folks into selling crap on Ebay?? Why not hire the usual preppy looking type??

Anyway....I'd love to tee off on Ebay...but I can't; the reason is....I have a secret to divulge to the world...and I'm doing so here and now for the first time. The reason is that I've been working on my own Ebay oriented book and I don't want to "give away" anything that belongs in the book.

The book isn't completely about Ebay; the straight up Ebay poop dovetails nicely with yarns from my 20+ years of hitting thrift stores....a hobbie I RARELY ever write about even though it's been my major obsession for many years. I'm revealing virtually every hot tip for finding stuff I've learned over the years in this book; as well as revealing the holy secrets of my competitors who hawk vinyl at record conventions and stores like the Mom and Pop dump in YOUR town that you've sworn your allegiance to.

The book is about 40% Ebay...an outfit that I have mixed feelings about to say the least. My main complaints with Ebay aren't all that secret..the fact that it's near IMPOSSIBLE by their own design to deal with somebody in their employ personally when you have a problem their computers can't sort out. Even more frustrating is the fact that no matter how bad THEY fuck up....they will ALWAYS slap a pre-chosen computer spiel message at you blaming it all on YOU instead of their own down time.

Still, I trudge on....like a maggot buzzing around a dead dogs ass...selling my own crap on Ebay.

And why?? Well, wait for the book to come out.

Just don't you fall for the hoakum on that infomercial. You're better off at your crappy job where you only have to work 40 hours per week. If you need more money...go get a part time job WHORING OUT YOUR MOM or your Sister or your frigging Wife. It'll leave you feeling better at the end of the day.

UUURRRPPPPPP....BBBRAAAAAP.

12/06/04

Either I've gone completely off my rocker from on again off again (mostly on again) brackish liquid black colored diareah..or I just heard a choir rehearsing in the distance when I walked outdoors a moment ago at 4:13 am Republic of Texas time.

Elvis says maybe somebody just died and it's angels singing their spirit home..yeah...SUUURREEEE. It's likely a neighbor playing churchy Christmas music too loud on their damn stereo.

Oh fuck. At least I can have a GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP tonight.

Yeah..you read it right.

After one final foot injury caused by my Wife's killer futon you've read about here often (if you're a regular reader) that prevented me from going to roller derby..my Wife proved she is the best Wife in the whole wide world by going out and purchasing a quality KING SIZED BED.

Thank you dear. Well, unless you've concocted another plan to kill me somehow with this deluxe bed that is. I'm a chess player and can see ahead a few moves in most situations in life...but I can't yet see a bad angle to the lovely bed with it's welcoming black sheets.

I can get more rest..more REAL satisfying rest from a 2 1/2 hour r.e.m. in this bed than 5 hours tossing and turning in the killer futon which began it's 11 year life as a decent thing to sleep on..but wound up with a sloping mattress that twisted the tendons in my precious, but brittle feet and knees.

For once I can sleep as well at home as in a motel.

I'll still opt for the motel as often as possible of course..their impersonal yet comforting atmospheres being an important part of the escapist Whiskey Rebel lifestyle.

Now I switch on the overhead ceiling fan over the bed of joy..and unplug completely into a happy sleep that usually leads to me dreaming sexual or musical or chess oriented dreams.

Now I dream every night on a quality bed and usually remember what I dream about for many hours. I can usually direct my dreams into constant instant-replays of happy projected moments.

I even had a happy dream about old H.H.H. from the WWE!! We were buddies..I learned that he was a widely misunderstood great guy. I can accept that dream. When I start dreaming about scenarios that involve me buddying up to Al Sharpton or certain pushy Christian relatives...I'll start worrying.

I came within 20 hours of a degree in history. I had a real problem with changing my major a jillion times over 8 years in quest of a 4 year degree. One of the subjects I studied was psychology. One course spent a lot of time discussing various cultures methods of interpreting dreams. I learned of a band of "sleep people" from some ancient tribe in South america whose lives centered around dreams. I was told that the highlight of their day was discussing them in detail. I also read about the falling sensation in dreams..and claims that you automatically wake up before hitting the ground and dying.

I don't know about that. I had a recurring dream for years and years that usually wound up with me dying in the final reel. Oddly enough it featured me sitting around a fire...just like the ancient folks sitting around THEIR own fires discussing their dreams.

I'm a firm believer in listening to the possible wisdom of your dreams..although lots of them are nonsense. I've risen from a very light sleep many, many times to write one of these damned diary entries after becoming inspired by some notion or other.

It was while trying to drop off to sleep when I was a 9 year old that I had my greatest stroke of wisdom that's effected my life in a positive way. I was somehow compelled to get out of bed and stare into an orange night light. In front of that light a certainty washed over me that my parents and relations were all nuts when it came to their screwy 200 hundred member church that was declared by them to be the ONLY true church. I have no other way to explain it...I just KNEW suddenly they were all full of crap..and that my mission was to survive my childhood years until I could get away from their nonsense. Of course..that's essentially what happened. They never managed to "save" me..no matter how many revival ministers, youth for Christ counselors and threats they brandished at me. I saved myself..by getting the hell out unscathed. Luckily, it's led to a life of my not having to worry..EVER for even 5 minutes about some bullshit supreme deity. If there is...he she or it or "they" may reward ME for not falling for such crap. Who knows??

OK. I'm getting off the basic subject here. I won't rehash the "meaning of life" that was revealed to me while living in Philly in a dream; I'll just point out the importance of my sleeping adequately to my existance. And I repeat..I've got the most wonderfullest Wife in the world.

Oh yeah..the futon of death has been folded into it's alternate sofa/day bed position. maybe if you're lucky enough to be invited to pass out here from alcohol one night you'll be able to experience it's unique joys.

Just kidding. I'd roust any guest and send them to the drunk tank or a bed of leaves in our backyard abutting the cemetary before watching somebody pass out on that thing.

Of course, Marla naps on it all the time still..and saws logs like she's enjoying pleasant rest on a feather soft cloud; as the great Sam Clemens used to say...HUMPIN' JUMPIN' JESUS!

11/28/04

We played again in San Marcos last night at the lovley Triple crown. It was a fun show. I like the audiences I've seen there better than what I've seen in San Antonio and Austin actually. They seem to be out for a fun time rather than mired in the past (like S.A...a lot of people I see down there don't seem to have ever gotten past a show G.G. did there years ago; I admired G.G. myself..but it's time to MOVE ON...). We've got a show in Austin at a place called Headhunters in December with those fine role models for youth the Bulemics.

I wound up with a knot in my forehead that looks like a 3rd eye..I hope somebody got some pictures.

I'm still pissed off I had to miss a chess tournament in order to do the show last night. I'm still 60-40 on playing music instead of chess...but the margin is closing.

I watched the U.S. chess championship games all day on the internet and had a fucking ball. I later sat down and watched 15 minutes of an NFL game. It STUNK. Football is just goddamned boring. I hate it when the announcers hype a play loudly that I've seen a million fucking times as something astonishing.

I thought it all over for a while bearing in mind that for many years during the 70's and 80's I was as big a football fan as you were going to find..so was Marla. I think there's just way too much "jargon" and analysis for a game that is played for the most part by fucking clods...for the enjoyment of for the most couch potato's.

I respect people that go out to games live and get drunk at 11:00 am and scream and live and die for their team way the hell more than I do pussy boys who sit on their couches ogling hard hits and injuries when they'd cry if they got a nose bleed or got the wind knocked out of 'em even.

I see fucking BEAUTY in TV rugby matches. I swear, I WILL go out to see live rugby as soon as I figure out when and where I've gotta be at the field 2 blocks from our house.

As far as the NBA goes...Elvis and I are still mulling over the Detroit-Indy fan fight debacle. We've changed our initial postion on whether we want to cut slack to the players back and forth. Yeah, yeah...the players should stay out of the stands..but I admire an overamped basketball player a lot more than I do some chickenshit throwing shit at the players. I sure as hell don't wish the modern conception of "anger management" in all it's pacifistic glory on anybody. Go watch any "King of the Hill" episode relating to anger management and you'll see where I'm coming from. Mike Judge understands damnit.

I read a book of Mark's that Ted Nugent wrote. Of course he dwouldn't approve of my alcoholic lifestyle...whether I "function" or not; and we sure don't see eye to eye on religion...but I enjoyed the book and respect the mans love of guns, guitars and wolfing down platters of game on Thanksgiving day.

I don't write about guns much..because I don't own one. Why?? because my Wife thinks I'll lose my temper and kill myself or all of us or somebody else in anger. She may be right. If I had a gun around here I might've used it on somebody by now. I go through severe mood changes. Luckily, alcohol puts me in a better frame of mind.

I do completely believe that society is better off with guns in the hands of individuals who have been trained how to own them safely. I back my gun totin' friends to the hilt. I don't hunt...but that doesn't mean I don't back my hunter friends right to do so. I'm on Ted's side here for damn sure.

Get this...I'll reveal a little bit about a subject I usually steer clear of..some genetic family history. Oddly enough as it may seem to you, my paternal Grandfather (NOT the Father of the man who raised me up) hunted and fished in the hills of Southern Oregon to feed his family into the 1950's. This isn't a pipe dream...I've discussed it in depth with an Uncle an Aunt and of course my Grannie. He was evidently quite a marksman. The mans genes contributed to my make up obviously. I may have a lurking talent for the outdoors I've never had a chance to explore. Who knows?? If I hadn't spent my childhood weekends mowing lawns on Saturday and going to church services all day Sunday maybe I could've wound up with a whole different set of hobbies. Maybe I'd take up where ol' Grandpa left off??

As it is...I went fishing several times as a teenager..but when I eventually caught fish I couldn't eat 'em. Sorry...it's a psychological thing. It's probably like Ted says in his book...you have to be raised up to the ways of tracking and killing your own food by the time you're 10 years old or so.

I don't expect everybody to be like ME. If you hunt and fish...or just like to collect weapons...BULLY FOR YOU. I've gone to many a gun show..it's fun. Like my pal Jim Goad wrote somewhere (I believe in an issue of Answer me!..I'm not quoting him..) you meet an interesting breed of people at gun shows.

Back to Ted. His book was fun to read..even though he hates drinkers like me. His political "involvement" is admirable. He's got some great child rearing techniques (many of which are identicle to mine). If nothing else, I'll understand certain songs of his much easier now..and so will you if you read the book. Ask Santa for it. URP.

11/22/04

Good news and bad news. First the good; we've got studio time booked in a few weeks for a brace of Alcoholics Unanimous songs. 6 to be exact.

Now the bad.

I've been bitching for years of course along with a lot of other people about the declining quality of televised wrestling. Ratings have been sinking for WWE shows for a long time. Many, many of my own friends have quit watching Monday & Thursday night wrestling all together. These aren't casual fans..these were folks who grew up on wrestling and had to get good and disgusted before giving up on it.

TNA has popped up as an alternative some people are interested in.

This week both promotions completely have hit absolute fucking ROCK BOTTOM. TNA has always bugged me because they seem to automatically hire WWE washouts rather than blaze their own trail....like ECW and SMW did. I've been wavering and almost ready to give them a chance anyway...until just a few days ago.

They goddamn hired those overated NWO dudes Nash and Hall to reprise their old bit from WCW....which was a rework of a Japanese script incidentally.

And now tonight...WWE fucked up BIG TIME...their worst move in years in my book.

Their biggest problem of course came about in most experts opinions when HHH married into the McMahon family and began putting himself over the entire roster to the point where the other guys look mediocre...and HHH keeps doing the same shit over and over and over and over...from spewing water (?!?) during his entrance to the phoney rubber sledge hammer.

As I've written before.....YEAH..he's a credible champion and should have held it a reasonable amount of time over the years. Unfortunately Triple HHH has turned RAW into triple ZZZ by beating his schtick into the ground year after year.

Tonight the show went surprisingly well for the first 1 and 3/4 hours. It looked like HHH's "bodyguard" Batista was gonna turn on him from the beginning of the show. GOOD! Put the strap around Batista's waist..hell..around Mae Young's waist!! ANYBODY!! They did a skit were Flair discovers HHH laying face down in a pool of bllod...and Batista leaving the room in a hurry. All the wrestlers come into the room stunned. Next Batista calls HHH out to face him.

At this point...Elvis and I were casually watching the show from seperate rooms; yunno...we don't get intense about it anymore like we have about wrestling since 1967 or so in the extended Irwin family. We almost bumped noses walking to talk to each other during the commercial.

Could it BE....we both hoped...that there was a chance that maybe Vince has wised up and was finally responding to overwhelming slumping ratings and attendance....and was FINALLY going to reinvent the show as "RAW" instead of the HHH show?? We both agreed that the only bad ending that could come from the show we were watching is if once in the ring HHH and Batista and their pal the Nature boy Ric Flair would suddenly start laughing...that the entire wonderful night of the decline of HHH's over long reign was just a cruel JOKE.

I'll be goddamned and double dipped in nun shit; that's EXACTLY what they did...it might have been amusing if it weren't for the fact that we've come to expect so little from WWE that we BOTH SAW IT COMING A MILE AWAY!!!!!

What a retarded stunt. I've seen that same bit a JILLION FUCKING BLOODY TIMES.

As Elvis says....ALL THE BAD STABLES employ that same routine..the worst of all of course being the NWO guys...who are ironically doing there thang one more time years after their prime as wrestlers in the TNA...the WWE's only nationally televised competitor.

What's the point of anybody watching their mostly lousy wrestling if you can't force yourself to believe what you see?? It's like that Charlie Brown/Peanuts bit about the girl who holds the football in place for him to kick it...and yanks it up at the last minute. How many times do fans want to be treated like fools...for falling for WWE's little skits and scenarios. How are they ever going to get the fans involved in the same skits and their wrestlers in general if they can't believe what they see?? What does it say about a company that aborts their best storylines in months as a big laugh at the expense of the fans who were dumb enough to get involved in the show???

I remember the way that the writers of "Dallas" bailed out after an entire season of episodes that weren't cutting the mustard. They wrote off an ENTIRE SEASON in which there were deaths and relationships altered...as a dream of one of the main charachters!!!

That's the cowards way out!!

The writing of the WWE show is so bad it very clearly can't hold a candle to 90% of the territorial promotions that Vince forced out of business in the early 80's.

I miss Saturday TV wrestling..but lets face it..it's GONE.

We should all go out and support our local promotions more than EVER. I fucking MEAN IT...no chickenshit excuses.

Go hug an indy wrestler today...and thank 'em for their hard work won't you??

11/19/04

For years I've enjoyed writing about my bowel movements. For years I've had to jump on the pot within 5-15 minutes of waking up to deliver alcoholic beershits.

That all sadly changed when I altered my eating habits almost a year ago giving up eating anything fun. Except for special occasions I completely avoid beef, pizza, most massive hoagies, etc. Since I've also sworn off super spicy food that makes my bunghole burn I rarely eat Mexican food including almost anything involving beans or peppers.

Even though I still drink nightly..when the worst I force my system to digest is bland chicken and fish dishes..when I do allow myself on special occasions to indulge in FUN food my digestive system sends it speedballing through my intestines...and blasting out of my bum 3 times as fast as it ever did. This makes for some high stepping to the throne when I awake up from a deep sleep.

I don't get it...I eat a couple bowls of chili...and as much shit as a family of 4 poops out in a 3 day weekend comes flowing out as a result.

Sometimes I have to sit on the throne for 15-20 minutes to let follow up vollys ooze out. It's a fine place to read and all....and I'm fairly comfortable sitting there..but FUCK!! I sometimes have a rough time getting back to sleep.

I haven't eaten a hamburger in so long..I'm actually afraid to. My system isn't used to having to deal with a payload of a half pound of ground beef anymore.

I know this sounds like a line of bull....but I kid you not. I get a cold chill just thinking about what might happen if I were to eat a double bacon Whataburger (I think I could handle a single without TOO much fuss).

When I do eat Marla's salsa (yeah..ironically it's one of her greatest culinary creations) it's tastes SOOooo good..but the next day the fire in my innerds is way the fuck more intense than it ever was.

So, it's back to chicken oriented soups seniors would eat.

Luckily, pork seems to flow out my anal aquaduct alright. I don't eat all that much of it though.

Thank the non-existant gods that I prefer asian food to any other. I can eat rice daily (believe me..I DO). Curry chicken prepared with vegetables is a frequent favorite..and a plate of General Tso's with a little broccoli means as much me as a big Mac does to you. I eat at asian buffet joints..but it's not like the old days when I crammed all I could down my gullet to "get my moneys worth".

I reward myself on special occasions every once in a while with a pizza...(my favorite is pepperoni, sausage and onions) but when I do I'm asleep within a half hour..and I can expect a massive blast of doo doo in the morning.

Sadly, it's almost not worth the "special occasions"..ALMOST.

I don't get it; I remember when a vegetarian buddy of mine switched back to eating meat he lead me to a truckstop where they served ONE POUND BURGERS. He wolfed one down with gusto and apparent glee. Why can't I do that?? If I ate a ONE POUND BURGER I'd have somebody rush me to the emergency room.

Besides the physical fuss of processing a meal like that...since I gave up FUN food I can't eat all that much when I do. So, no more being a GLUTTON DAMNIT. I miss being a glutton. Being practical and intelligent SUCKS.

Well, at least I still get to DRINK every single blessed day. In a world in which at least half the former gung-ho drinking guys my age have visited rehab I'm damned thankful of that.

Drinking is MORE important than eating..without doubt. Always has been..always will be.

Will you join me in prayer: (read along out loud)

"Oh holy bottle..thou art my best companion. The rest of the frickin' world can PISS OFF..as long as I have you to cradle in my arms. Your familiar charms always delight me...yet you still surprise me too at times. I never tire of beng with you...even after all these years. I pity the fool who tries to wrench you from my grasp...!!"

AMEN.

11/14/04

YEAH for fucking me.. I kicked ass fairly well in Dallas at the chess tournament. I played 4 experts and one guy rated well over me almost in that class..and finished with 2 wins 2 draws and one loss to the highest rated dude they had to offer this weekend. The one loss came VERY close to being a win whuch would've left me tied for 1st after the 1st day of competition. I had to look ahead 9 or 10 moves in an endgame for the win..and I slightly miscalculated. Oh well. I believe I'll win a small cash prize that they'll mail to me.

I'm still not quite where I want to be..after hundreds of hours of study..but I'm getting there. The best sign is that the areas where I did study (for instance my new opening as black) payed off with points. I had a couple results this stong when I was a kid..one when I was 14 and in my initial prime...the other when I was 20 or so. Really though, all the times I won trophies and money way back when was against competition not as strong.

That's what matters....the strength of the competition.

A couple of the guys I played practically snarled over the board at me prior to the game..in a COMPETITIVE way. I gave 'em the one eye right back. After the game there was time for back patting. It's the way of mental warriors. It's all about the goddamned EYE OF THE TIGER (imagine the "survivor" cheesy 80's pop hit in the background).

My last game was grimly fought..if either of us had won we would've taken home low three figure money. We battled clear down to a rook and two pawns lined up symetrically..a dead draw. The draw placed us out of the better money..but what the fuck. it was an honorable fight...and not agreed to early.

Friday night at the hotel with Marla along I knew I was gonna have the fight of the weekend trying to get to sleep 6-7 hours earlier than usual. I dined at a Chinese buffet at 9:00 pm and managed to sack out for 8 hours..almost an entirely alcohol free night. WOW. The end of another streak of who knows how many hundreds of nights.

Saturday night I drank 8 beers in an hour and a half before bed..and tossed and turned. I worried about Sunday mornings game being very fucking tired...but I STEAMROLLED the guy quickly..and managed to get back to the hotel for a nap (thanks to the "late checkout" option) to prepare for my last game.

It was very satisfying of course..since nobody wants to admit that they reached their "prime" at anything when they were a kid. Also, anybody who wants to write me off as a braindead drunk loser...a borderline insane housebound loner...they can just JAM IT UP THEIR ASS and try to explain the intellectual accomplishment I've achieved by getting farther from hard work at the game..than I ever got from being a "gifted" youth who it all came naturally to.

My next tournament is New Years weekend. I'm pissed I have to miss a Thanksgiving tournament for the good of the band; OH the sacrifices.

HEY..in a week we're destined to check out a night of Womens roller derby in Austin. HELL YEAH. We're probably going to play at a match in Tucson next Spring..this will be my first in person look at it.

Chess?? Roller Derby?? Insane loud music..What can I say..I'm a well rounded man..a modern day Gomez Addams.

11/10/04

I'm playing in another chess tournament in Dallas this weekend. I'm better prepared than ever. I'm miles beyond when I took the game up again after a 20+ year break. I've studied two more openings in depth for the black pieces...but most importantly I've been studying the end game in depth. The more I learn the more I realize how I only THOUGHT I knew what I was doing. I can't even look at my games from when I was a "young lion"...BRRAAAPPPP!!!!! I got by on instinct and luck alone. I no longer have any positive luck in any phase of my life..but I've got knowledge to back up my chess game now at least.

Not that anybody reading this gives a shit....but then that's never stopped me from writing about anything "boring" in the past.

I expect to face some young players up at the Dallas chess club..and I hope to ream some assholes with my endgame patience and knowledge. The young shits get antsy when a game runs too long don't ya know. It's all part of the chronic limited attention span of American youth..fostered by too many video games that move incredibly fast..and TV commercials that can't focus for more than a split second.

I'm into tediously long commercials, baseball, rugby and long books. I fucking hate limited attention span entertainment ESPECIALLY music videos that keep hopping around.

Well, it's time for another CONTEST!!

The prize will be a copy of our new Rancid Vat CD..or a T-shirt for folks who may have that already.

What I want is emails with stories about NIGHTMARE experiences with scumbag crooked promoters. I'm particularly interested in hearing from folks who quit playing music all together or at least dis-banded from a fucking over....either a single experience or a suckass tour where everything went wrong.

I'll post some of the tales of woe here..so others can enjoy a laugh or two at your bands expense.

OH YEAH!!! Extra credit for anybody who actually got revenge later after being fucked by a promoter, clubowner or booker at some dirtbag club.

11/05/04

Damn. It's never too late to admit that you were wrong..or in this case a bit off the mark. I think I think my comments yesterday about "Stampeding cattle" were a bit humble. I explained how the album came about..but I failed to point out a lot of it's unique brilliance. First off, some of the lyrics were fucking incredible. The "ballad of Brigham Young" was not only a catchy tune..it's one of the nastiest, disrespectful looks at a religious icon ever.

I quote: "When the saint was just a lad..he poked heifers with his dad..once he fucked a goat near dead...gave the horses head...kept the livestock bred"...."shot a bucketload of cum..into Joseph's hallowed bum..like a rifle being shot..blew a wad of pecker snot".

HO HO. And how 'bout these immortal lines from "Puke on my face":

"Children singing..flowers in bloom...cascading waterfalls..no sense of gloom...I woke up this morning with PUKE on my face..and nothing but hate for the human race"...

Bitter, eh?? And then there's Steve Wilsons ode to the lovable and under appreciated Viet Nam war vets: (from "hot cages in Viet Nam rattle")

"at Kent State they're killing commies...wish we could run home to our mommies..Nixon will welcome us with all his charms..'til he see's we've got no arms".."after this one we'll burn Peking...march on Moscow and install a King..shoot our loads in Madame Mao...piss on Brezhnev's sacred cow"..."what the world wants is hero's...not delayed stress syndrome zero's...where's the fancy cars and jobs??..we're a bunch of no-count slobs".

I pointed out the fact that we were all playing unfamiliar instruments on the album. I failed to mention the fact that some of us played OTHER instruments well. Yeah..I could barely pick out the "Marlboro theme" on guitar during the Brigham Young number..but I was only a few years down the road from a likely bassoon scholarship if I had wanted it. AND I was a good enough drummer people kept trying to recruit me for their bands. AND I studied music theory and learned to function on all but a couple woodwind instruments in high school. AND I played with skilled youth orchestras on more than one instrument. AND I played in pit orchestras for musicals...which required me to switch back and forth constantly between several instruments.

When I was wailing away at my $30 guitar wrangling feedback out of it for the LP...if you listen closely you'll hear me guiding the feedback into actual notes. My guitar part for "puke on my face" sure as fuck sounds swirly and vomitational...perfect for the song.

Listen to the theme music from "space ghost coast to coast"; the music is performed by an avant garde jazz guy..who is making his axe sound deliberately spazzy..much like mine on "Stampeding cattle"...I'm NOT KIDDING. His name was Sonny Sharrock I believe.

NOW DON'T think we fancied ourselves jazz musicians!! We've always been suspicious of jazzbo's who've applied to play in the band (one of them lasted ONE gig...and then commited suicide a few months later).

Marla had the pleasure of working as a sound assistant for a weekly jazz radio show that featured some older guys whose heyday was the 50's and 60's. In spite of her near pathological hatred of jazz...she warmed up to those guys as people. I got to meet a couple of them too. I own a couple dozen weird ass free jazz LP'S..but I didn't own any at the time we started the band.

So, were we part of the "art" scene in Portland??? HAHA!!!!! HAH!!!

You've got to be out of your pig fucking mind. We were too rude for those folks. Those that came around to see it live were offended for the most part. We were booked early on with lots of "noise" acts...some of whom I thought were pretty good even..but there was a BIG difference between us and them; we played "normal" rock and roll instruments very loudly..while they were tossing handfuls of rice at autoharps and shit like that.

In the late 80's artsy-music people in certain circles made their love of our early music well known; I still have their letters and copies of zines where we were brought up. Our second LP "Burger Belson" ran most of those folks off. It's songs are catchy, melodic and ROCK oriented enough that the album made a "heavy metal" too 500 albums book (along with Antiseen's first LP).

Speaking of Antiseen...they've been a tight, ass blistering machine for years..and one of the best 5 bands on earth for a good while...but if you go back..WAAAYYYY back in the time machine you'll find that they performed some feedback oriented songs that were off kilter and "long" by some peoples standards. "Surfin' bird" and "mill working man" come to mind. They weren't a "noise" band though...the MC5 weren't a "noise" band...the early Alice Cooper band weren't merely a "noise" band...well, um er..maybe for a little while.

We've been battling the "noise band" stigma for about 20 years since we could be fairly classified as one. Our years in Philly we'd play a couple long songs per set loaded with theramin or guitar feedback...but the rest of the set would be filled with songs with a normal bonehead 3 chord structure.

When I switched to playing bass fulltime a few years back to fit Jimmy Satan into the band I was conscious of the fact that we were going to sound just like jillions of other bands musically. It was always a challenge for me to stay in tune playing live...if some people thought we were a "noise" band it would likely be because when they saw us play I was so out of tune. Nowdays we play in tune...just like ALLLLL THE OTHER bands. It's sad in a way. We raise our fair share of hell in other ways though I guess.

I might mention the fact that when we played the songs from "Stampeding cattle" live in Portland Oregon in 1981 peoples jaws dropped. We'd play in square clubs partly filled with loggers and their girlfriends who had wandered in expecting to see a local bar band mimic Journey. People screamed at us...threatened us...blah blah blah. We'd get right back in their faces and tell 'em to fuck off...it was hilarious.

It wasn't the "good old days"...I'm still waiting for them. But it was a real laugh riot to see how upset people got. Like the time we had the plug pulled at a gay night club and were told that if we didn't have our equipment out in five minutes there'd be 20 men in leather with flashlights (?!?!) to escort us out. (I wonder what they were gonna do with the flashlights??). What were we thinking bluffing our way into that place???

The one ETERNAL constant in Rancid Vat history is the fact that we've ALWAYS sent club owners regularly to the master electrical power switch. We're playing in San Antonio tonight..could it happen?? Are we so tame we'd never cause the plug to be pulled??? HAH!!! They did the last time we played the same club...SO THERE.

11/04/04

WHISKEY REBEL'S EMAIL BAG

"Hey man, how's it going? I really dig your online diary..I discovered it amonth or so ago, and really enjoy reading it. I think you write very well. I am a big fan of Antiseen and the other COS bands, which is how i ultimately came across your site. A long time ago, I bought the Stampeding Cattle cd from your ebay store, and at the time, i guess the best way to put it is, "i didn't get it". I have since learned to appreciate that disc. Some friends have let me heard other rancid vat stuff, which sounded really cool. Soon as i round up some cash, i will be expanding the collection of stuff you have done, including the jobjumper book.

Bill"

Hi Bill....I can identify with (and I can certainly laugh along with!) your reaction to "Stampeding Cattle". I'm proud of it and all..but it was recorded almost a quarter of a century ago and meant to piss off early punk rock people in our town of Portland Oregon who thought they were expressing their" uniqueness" (GOD I hate that word) by dressing up like Sid Vicious or Devo. We had tried to please those people by playing normal 3 chord music..but we very soon learned we were expected to dress like the dumb bastards and kiss up to them or they'd hate us anyway.

So, we switched instruments..dreamed up a band name and song titles over a ouija board and played live for the 1st time at a huge benefit in the middle of an 8 band bill. We played only two songs..wailing away with tuneless feedback...and doing several false endings MEANT to make people think we were finally stopping...HAH HAH HAH!!! We lasted about 25 minutes..and CLEARED the damn club expect for about 5 people (2 of whom later joined the band). It felt better than moving 10 pounds of turds on the stool. We were ecstatic..pissing those people off. Several of them said we weren't a "real band"..one guy (who thought that my wearing gloves when I drummed was "imitating" him) said we wouldn't last a month; here we are almost 24 years later.

STAMPEDING CATTLE was recorded on a 4 track unit in a basement without heat during cold weather. I had a temperature of 103 recording some guitar parts. It is what it is..4 people playing instruments they don't know how to play on purpose. We tried to play them as loudly and in as annoying fashion as we could most of the time. You can tell by a couple songs that we were already developing fundamental musical skills. By the next time we recorded we weren't any rawer than the Stooges or early Alice Cooper band really. Our sound quickly became more civilized. That's the difference between us and a lot of noise bands who came in our wake....who often consisted of talented people TRYING to sound like shit. We were playing sincerely about the best we could.

The album has an audience of its own. One guy sent me a review from a semi-scholarly psych magazine that lumps it in with psych bands. We haven't sounded like Stampeding Cattle since 1983. We've been known to make maybe a 3rd of a set very noisy over the years...but that's in the tradition of bands like the MC5. It's almost disgusting how tight and "conventional" our new CD is. Well, I'm proud of it too...but that's another story.

Sorry for the longwinded response..I;m making a diary entry out of it for the benefit of all those folks (including our guitar player Mark) whose eyebrows were raised..and maybe singed a bit.. upon hearing "Stampeding Cattle" for the 1st time.

Whiskey Rebel....

11/03/04

Hey out there all my liberal voting pals..does life seem to suck after last nights election??

I want to sympathize with you...but it's hard to considering that as a mutant agnostic, functioning alcoholic weirdo I've gotten used to a LIFETIME of day after election disappointment.

Things may indeed SUCK over the next 4 years..but they won't suck NEARLY AS BAD as predicted by Bush's partisan critics.

For some of you, maybe TODAY IS THE DAY that you should finally WAKE UP about the reality behind American politics...all the gloom and doom that precedes elections is mostly empty fucking rhetoric meant to sway voters.

This year brought in a bumper crop of conspiracy theories...most of them involving the Bush family. There were so many whacky theories they conflicted with each other..and cancelled each other out in many cases.

I remember back a few years one of our elderly female relations had taken to listening to Art Bell's show every night. She was sadly sucked in by all the conspiracy speculation Mr. Bell aired for entertainment purposes. I mean, this poor lady was terrified about black helicopters!!

I sense that some decent people in my life are almost as terrified today waiting for Bush to announce the opening of concentration camps..or make daily prayer mandatory under threat of the law.

I remember how legitimately scared a lot of dopey punk rock idiots were when Reagan was elected. No..I didn't like Reagan..not al all. But I knew the morons running around predicting he was bent on "pushing the button"launching nukes his first five minutes in office (I remember a LOT of people saying that!) were full of horsepoop.

I think that ordinary people who get all hysterical about politics should give it a fucking rest. Just like we counseled our elderly relation to restrict her listening to Art Bell's show..it'd be a good idea if your pulse is pounding over the election results to back off from the source of propoganda that's been getting you all worked up.

I'm a HISTORY BUFF. I came very close to earning a college degree majoring in 20th century history. I judge modern politicians and political rhetoric in the light of what I've learned by my extensive reading on U.S. and world history.

Believe me...whatever you heard about the evil Bush administration pales in comparison to what was said about Abe Lincoln. On one side of the spectrum his opponents cooked up all sorts of terrifying nonsense about how mobs of former slaves were going to over run all the delicate white folk if Lincoln was re-elected. On the other hand, abolitionists were pissing all over him for not being radical enough to please them. He got it from all directions. Of course..JUST LIKE TODAY..it was chic for folks to declare that if he was re-elected they'd pack up and leave the country.

Now I'm not postively comparing Bush to Lincoln..I'm just saying that if you study about over-the-top political propoganda it won't frighten you...well at least not AS MUCH.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...most politicians including Bush and Kerry are prevaricating slimeballs at times. But I don't believe any of the doomsday conspiracy theories about either of them. As has been pointed out a jillion times they both belong to the same Skull and crossbones collegiate secret society. Professional politicians over the years have often revealed a stern face to their opponents publicly..and then later behind the scenes drank with 'em..or maybe played golf together. Professional politicians learn early how to take personal insults and hyserterical nonsense rhetoric in stride..just like theatre people learn how to kiss one another or romp in bed in front of a camera in a "professional" manner. If they can take the results of an election in stride..shouldn't YOU be able to??

I remember many years back when the NWA world heavyweight wrestling championship meant something...I'd get all upset when Ric Flair would drop the strap for a couple months. I'd likewise be disappointed when Playboy Buddy Rose dropped the PNW heavyweight strap. Of course...I was being as silly then as some of you are today moping around. Eventually over the years I gradually came to appreciate the fact that even the brave warriors of the squared circle need some time off to go lay on a beach for a while. Likewise a democratic loss yesterday could be a key factor in a string of success for them beginning next election..who knows??

For those of you who are really into politics..I suggest you ponder over the negative impact of all the "Bush=Hitler" and "Bush is a cokehead" and "Bush hid like a coward on 9/11" rhetoric from this campaign. It was a close election...it's damned likely in my opinion that if the democrats had focused on their own candidate and criticized Bush in a more mature upbeat fashion they might have succeeded. Negative campaign rhetoric can backfire on the people spouting it..and It's possible that's what happened this time around.

Anyway...to those of you who feel "sad" today: go get plastered tonight. I mean REALLY shitfaced. Tomorrow, make a trip to the damned library and begin researching American political campaigns of the PAST and how the exaggerations and conspiracy theories actually played out in the long run. Strive to rise above political rhetoric spewed by partisan mouthpieces. Become an "insider" in terms of understanding what's going on by freeing your mind..automatically doubting ALL partisan spin (including 98% of what you see on TV or read in mainstream papers).

If you study American history you'll learn to be able to interperate what's happening beyond the rhetoric in the next campaign. GET TO FUCKING WORK...and for Christs sake remember to take a goddamned flask with you to the library.

11/01/04

Occasionally even chess players do incredibly stupid things. I daily visit a chess news website based in Germany that is sponsered by the folks who manufacture the "Fritz" chess computers that can play at the level of the strongest humans on earth.

I was disgusted to see an article ( at "chessbase.com" ) written in the fictious guize of a commentary on a chess game between Bush and Kerry. It was LOADED with every idiotic exaggeration imaginable about our election suggested by the most extreme partisan Americans ranging from Limbaugh to Moore. It especially grated me to see a German website ragging on an American President for a pre-emptive strike; It takes a lot of fucking NERVE for Germans to criticize anybody considering the hell they've raised over the years.

I don't want to insult my German friends. I know that most of them couldn't have sucked up to every partisan lie spread by the tabloids of the world (at least I hope). I did feel like I needed to email the chessbase people...here's my complaint:

"Hi Chessbase. I usually enjoy what I see at your website. I've got to say though that today I was disgusted by the political overtones of your "Bush vs. Kerry" piece. I'm an American..and just for the record I don't belong to either dominant political party (I'm a Libertarian). I think whomever wrote the piece has completely accepted as the truth most of the less reputable partisan lies brought up during our election process. Why perpetuate partisan propoganda at a chess website??

Wouldn't it be insulting if a U.S. chess website perpetuated nonsense about Germany..making you all out to be a bunch of goose stepping, sausage gobbling, lager slurping nazis??

I have many German friends..most of whom have visited me in the U.S. I discuss politics on occasion with them in depth..and can say that if we've learned anything it's not to believe the exaggerations cited by the world media about either Americans, Germans, French, etc.

It would be unfair and juvenile for me to suggest that the "Bush vs. Kerry" article is something worthy of Joseph Goebbels..let's not go down that road!!

Let's stick to CHESS..a subject you folks cover very well.

Thank you....Phil Irwin".

SHIT. I wonder if the tiddlywink and bongo drum afficianado websites have published anything as insulting to Americans in general. I've come to expect better from chess players.

10/30/04

I'm feeling very down...down..down...I'm sorry to admit it..but I feel like it would be a relief if life cancelled my fucking subscription. So..as my Wife might say..what's set me off THIS time?? I wandered to the Goodwill store today....bored..not expecting much. But not expecting anything BAD either. I walked into a scene from hell..MY envisioned hell that is. There were 50 more people walking around the store than I've ever seen. Most of them were groups of ditzy looking sorority girls. They evidently were there slumming it at Goodwill to find cheesy Halloween party costumes. I overheard snatches of conversations such as: "what are we doing here again..??" and once when a lone girl obliviously strolled by squeeling with delight into a cellphone I heard a catty voice say: "everybody's talking on cellphones" from some little twat who probably was kicking herself for forgetting to bring hers in from the brand new convertible sports car Daddy bought her.

I can just imagine what great partys the braindead flock of cunts will wind up at tonight. The world is their fucking oyster...well let 'em CHOKE on it for all I care.

I want no part of this fucking species. That was the fucking capper on a crummy life spent in the shadow of large groups of suckass spoiled cunts. Their male counterparts aren't any goddamned better. I know that somewhere out there a few sympathetic souls will read this and agree...which is great I suppose...but then again maybe there isn't anybody out there who even understands why I'd get so depressed over a store filled with soft, spoiled cunts who've never known any REAL trouble....or heartache greater than breaking up with some thick headed jock asshole with one big neanderthal eye brow that stretches over both eyes...and a jaunty collegiate cap..and a pickup truck that's never hauled anything but kegs of bad light beer..paid for with Daddy's money..back to the frathouse.

If THIS is Halloween....I say FUCK IT.

This surfeited crew reminds me why the poor hate the pampered wealthy and why the bearded sourpuss Moslems want to slaughter Americans in droves. How can you blame them?? It reminds me all too much of my shitty cookieland childhood..being forced to be around them constantly. NO WONDER I mainly associate with so called scumbags, drunks, druggies, perverts and misfits. Aw...fuck it.

10/26/04

For a long time I haven't voted. My reasoning was the old "cold shit" vs. "warm shit" analogy pointing out the ROTTEN fucking choice of candidates. Of course I heard the argument a million times that if I didn't vote I somehow had no right to complain. That's plain bullshit. I stil don't buy that. But, at any rate I joined the Libertarian party this year after witnessing the inspiring example of Joe Young running for office. I've followed the election for many months trying to decide who to vote for..COLD SHIT..or WARM SHIT.

You see, it turned out after I did a little research that the Libertarian candidate this time around is a frigging WHACKO. His idea of defense evidently is to stand in front of your own house with a shotgun in case a band of terrorists brandishing weapons should happen by. Since 9/11 I think we have to take the fight to the fundamentalist Islam Motherfuckers who hate us.

I don't like Nader..and besides..he's not even on the Texas ballot..neither is the Green party candidate.

See what I mean?? We're back to Cold shit vs. warm shit....Bush vs. Kerry.

Today Elvis and I proudly cast our votes. In the end...the decision was made for us by our focusing on the last year we've had to listen to the UNENDING, NONSTOP, TEDIOUS LUNACY OF OVER-THE-TOP BLIND BUSH HATERS.

It's become so "fashionable" to blindly hate Bush and chatter out the usual cliches: "Bush is an idiot!" "Bush lied!"....that I'm running in the other direction. Hey all you Bush haters...you've DRIVEN me to vote for Bush..who is SURE AS HELL not my idea of an ideal candidate..by your collective overstated crap.

Hey Michael Moore: you've DRIVEN ME into the Bush camp..with your smarmy oh-so-hip propaganda film. If you had made a bona fide "documentary" based on facts and not soley devoted to a personal attack...I might've been drawn to your side of the fence.

Hey all you folks with your Bush is Hitler rhetoric: You've DRIVEN ME to vote for Bush. You people are fucking spitting on the graves of the REAL German nazi's millions of victims when you make such a cheesy comparison.

Dan Rather: You've done your bit too to drive me to vote for Bush with your bogus story about his national guard service. (You've also driven me to change the channel away from CBS on my TV set PERMANENTLY).

Hey all you folks who automatically spout "Bush is an idiot" on cue...you've helped drive me to vote for him. Why??? Well..he's not my idea of a supreme intellectual. The fact is I can't remember a super intelligent candidate in my lifetime who stood the chance of a fart in a whirlwind of getting elected President. The "people"..the "masses" want charismatic candidates...not EGGHEADS. Bush graduated from Yale...did YOU?? Bush had the brains to fly a jet fighter....do YOU??? Could you last five minutes in a nationally televised debate?? Yeah..I've heard the "hilarious" Bush blooper recordings...but frankly, I doubt many (if anybody) people reading this have the "BRAINS" to be able to fulfill the man's duties on the piss poor amount of sleep Presidents get.

Yeah..Bush might hate my guts on a personal basis..and I might hate him if we were introduced..but that's not likely to happen. If you've met him personally and you hate him..well..that's PERSONAL. That makes sense. I can't say I agree with many of his Christian based philosophies..but he isn't an "idiot" because he's a Christian. I have lots of Christian friends.

It reminds me of when it was trendy to tout President Ford as a "clutz". He was a STELLAR fucking college athlete...and even today in his 80's he could out swim and out golf ANY of you.

Did Bush "lie?" I'm sure he has about many things. Has Kerry "lied" during the course of this campaign?? Yep. Will he "lie" if elected?? Of COURSE. Did Michael Moore lie?? Did Dan Rather?? Do you lie when it suits you??

Do political activists "LIE" when they exaggerate in their rhetoric against a candidate from another party??

When the sheep following the activists repeat distortions of the truth..are they "LYING"...or merely "IDIOTS"????? HHHHMMMMMMMMM??

How can Bush be part of a devious conspiracy (or should I say several devious conspiracies) and be an "idiot"???

It's not that unhealthy to harbor a bit of hatred for a politician. To be consumed with burning hatred 24/7 for an elected official is going overboard. Even if you think it ISN'T going overboard...I don't think it's wise for any of us to blindly accept the dialogue of "haters" of politicians from the left or the right. I didn't HATE Clinton....I disagreed with him when it came to torte reform...but I had to shake my head at the hateful Limbaugh army who seemed totally OBSESSED with dragging the man down due to his sex scandels. I did hate Reagan...but just a little bit; and I rarely talked about it. I never liked Jimmy Carter..he was pushed as a major bible banger back in the day. I thought he was a weenie...but I didn't HATE him.

I don't HATE Kerry; I'm beginning to hate his WIFE...and I think Edwards is a slimeball...but I don't even hate him.

Now, AL SHARPTON I fucking hate. But, that's another rant.

If Kerry is elected..I hope he does well. I hope the terrorist groups magically disband...and that our economy continues to come back no matter which party takes credit. I hope the flowers on the Whitehouse lawn bloom into splendor...and the world will all join hands and buy each other fucking COKES. AND...I don't want Kerry to fail just so that the Republicans can come back in 2008. REMEMBER!!! I'm NOT a Republican.

I'm just an agnostic, Libertarian, functioning alcoholic, self proclaimed philosopher who COULDN'T WAIT to vote early for Bush thanks to being driven to do so by having a GODDAMNED BELLYFULL of anti-Bush baloney for the last year.

10/24/04

Saw a great Wayne Hancock set at the Continental club last night. I yakked for a while during set-up time with a guy from Boston. He seemed fairly knowledgable about what was going on until he remarked to me.."that can't be Wayne!..where's his hat??"

Evidently he was referring to a hat Mr. Hancock wore on his first CD cover several years ago. The guy seemed very seriously upset. I inched my way away from the guy towards the stage. I noticed that the dude had left after a few songs.

The set was very exciting. It was delayed for awhile by a monitor that was providing a horrid raspy feedback to the doghouse bass...which was being manned by a new young guy playing with Wayne and two incredibly seasoned veteran guitar players. The guy seemed a bit nervous as anyone would be with his boss, bandmates and a club load of people wondering why his bass sounded like shit.

As a musician I try to learn in situations like this from stage masters like Wayne. He kept his cool and seemed to be repeatedly yakking in his ear encouraging the guy not to lose it. To be honest...the fella was all over the map chord-wise during a rendition of Hank Williams immortal "lovesick blues". But overall he did a good job of not cracking. The audience judges songs based on the quality of "the Train's" voice anyway for the most part.

It must be intimidating as fuck playing bass along with one of the greatest country voices of our time and two wily guitar players who generally bang out dozens of note perfect improvised solo's on a nightly basis that are bona fide goddamned table thumping smashes to paraphrase Hank Jr.

We had a drunken escapade around here that might sound on the surface like another "cute cat" story but was really much more indicative of the level of intoxication reached around here on an average night.

A few nights ago Elvis and I were several big drinks along; for some reason he happened to look out the damn window..and he promptly saw a black cat that looked like our demon cat Dixie. Regular readers of this diary will know that Dixie has a doppelganger that lives in our neighborhood...as well as an albino double. Both cats press their damn noses against our windowglass on occasion to piss off Dixie and our veteran older cat Mr. Jinx.

On this 4:00 a.m. drunken evening Elvis became so convinced that it was Dixie outside that he grabbed a bag of cat treats to lure the feline inside. The cat was making slow steps towards him and the door...when El had second thoughts. He assigned me (I was drunk as a lord of course) to watch the cat outside as he searched the houses nooks and crannies for Dixie. Sure enough...he managed to locate Dixie sleeping like a log under a bed.

DAMN. He almost brought a neighbor cat into our fortress of solitude. If he had, no doubt Mr. Jinx would've called his ass out..and the fir would've flown for sure. We later laughed and speculated over what might have come about.

Oddly enough even though we keep our dumbasses indoors Mr. Jinx was accidently let out by a sauced guest once....so it CAN happen. The cat COULD have been Dixie.

Years ago I hated the cats we had for the most part..because Marla insisted on female cats that were prissy and psychotic..and she ruined them with babytalk. Mr. Jinx and Dixie are a couple goddamned eunuch's with personalitys that make me think on a regular basis that they are indeed the devil's agents..particularly my official cat Dixie.

No...he wouldn't lay his life down for me like most dogs would for their owner...but that's ok. I don't require such behavior. I wouldn't die for him either.

By the way..it sure as fuck smells good when you tune in the Yankee free World Series. I'm so fucking happy the Red Sox humilated those fuckfaces. I'm a lifelong Cardinal fan. My favorite team of all time was the 1968 Cards...but I want the Red Sox to win this time around. They're a team of individuals..most of whom must piss off baseball fans that dig a conservative corporate look. What can I say?? They have beards and oddball hair-do's that would put most wrestlers to shame. I like that. For fucks sake..Johnny Damon looked like a yetti for most of the regular season. That's refreshing.

Maybe Scott Rolen's Mom will let him grow a goatee next year to contend with the Red Sox in a hirsute manner??

10/21/04

R.I.P. Vinnie

Yo Vinnie....We Irwins will miss you. He loved to give people shit...but he always watched his friends' backs, and it was always in good fun. He was a good man, and we know for a fact a proud father.

We drank many a beer, many a shot and ate a few cheese steaks together.

Philly won't be the same without you man...

10/19/04

It's hot as a jungle here..76 degrees at 5:30 am. Mid 90's earlier today. Tough shit for all you folks shivering in cold states.

I watched parts of the ALCS game tonight. I was disgusted when Nim-Rod of the fucking yankees contested the umpires call when he blatantly was caught cheating. Don't get me wrong...I'm still into heel athletes. My favorite basketball player all time is still Bill Laimbeer....the King of the phoney foul flop. I respect Ty Cobb above almost all baseball players of all time. Nim-Rod should leave the dirty crap for guys who have the class to acknowledge their guilt when they get CAUGHT.

To quote my boyhood hero...a man who threw many a fastball at the head of many a former comrad in arms..Bob Gibson:

"Why do I have to be an example for your kid. YOU be an example for your own kid."

Thanks Mr. Gibson. Legend has it that he ate dinner at the Orlando Cepeda (my other main boyhood baseball hero) residence one night. They were team mates at the time. One of Cha Cha's kids asked Bob if he'd throw at his Dad's head if they were on opposing teams. He acknowledged that YES...he WOULD.

Well..you know the story..if you don't you're hearing it now. Cepeda was traded away to Atlanta..or some other hell hole. Yeah...Bob chucked one at his noggin following a round tripper by a team mate.

I don't mind the work of heel jocks who don't insult our intelligence by claiming to be innocent when they pull something; I was nauseated by the sight of the highest paid athlete in the world of all time claiming to be misjudged when he clearly swung at another player like Stan Hansen laying a Texas clothesline on one of the dead Von Erichs.

I hear one of my favorite wrestlers New Jack is in deep shit again thanks to a "family" wrestling promotion in Florida that brought him in and then feigned ignorance when he wrestled a hardcore match and cut his opponent up a bit. That is fucking CHICKENSHIT. That's the same sort of B.S. two faced nonsense I've been on the receiving end of in the music "scene" (BARF! I hate that word) for so many years. If you book Rancid Vat..like the music or not...hell will likely be raised. Blood will be spilled. Somebody's. If you book New Jack (who if you recall I had the immense pleasure of meeting..and gargling a couple drinks with) blood will be spilled. If you're a wrestling promoter and he chooses to wrestle scientific..that's when you should get PISSED.

New Jack and Johnny Damon and Bob Gibson and Bill Laimbeer and Ty Cobb are in the long run good role models for kids.,......because they put out in an honest manner in their various athletic fields.

Nim-Rod can suck my balls. PPWWWWWAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

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