7/06/1993 at 6:43a
any more thoughts about "our" puzzle dream... [P] was having a dream late
this morning... i heard her say "...i don't like that dream"... tho she
was still asleep i told her to remember her dream so's she could write it
down and send it off to you...
and i had another myself a little later than she... had some "alice in
wonderland" stuff in it... like this sweet old lady dressed in some black
clothes who was saying some sweet old lady things to someone... then turned
to me and with a grin on her face said... now to change in to my snow white
clothes... then later i was around a table or set of shelves with different
nick-nacks on them... i had my hand in and around the stuff on the
shelves... and kept feeling something nibbling or rubbing against my
fingers... and i kept thinking where are the little baby kittens at... i
think they were playing games with my hand there in the shelf... and then i
caught a glimpse or two of the little things... little black baby
kittens... then later i was with some people who were sitting at a picnic
table... i wasn't sitting just walking near... when i could hear a louder
voice... and thought it must be {C} near... so looking for you i mosyied
on down along by the table looking... and finally i could see fairly
clear... there was a woman with auburn hair... kind of heavy set...
almost sitting in a big man's lap on the far side of the picnic table...
the man looked huge compared to her... with his brown tossled hair... and
she had on the prettiest sky blue dress to see... i stood there watching
her a bit... then felt as if she might be going to look in to my direction
at my eyes... so i waved my left hand back and forth to her... so as to
let her know i was there... and i saw her eyes start to focus and look
toward me... then she seemed to realize that i was really, really there...
and upon her face came the most surprised look... and then she sort of
faded or lost it... and seemed to fall back into the man's arms...
NEAT huh, dear?...
***
93/07/06 at 07:32
OHMYGOSH!! This is so NEAT...or weird, or whatever... I say "I have to
change into my Snow White clothes" when I'm getting "girled up"...Are you
sure I haven't mentioned that to you before??? And the picnic table thing...
On the 4th, I was sitting next to my brother, [G] at the picnic table by
the pool...really close to him, and my neice, [M], was sitting on the
other side of me. [G] is a huge man, with dark brown, tossled hair...I
didn't have sky blue on the day [G] was here, but I did yesterday... And
the nicknack shelf...My blackish colored cat, Yoda, got in trouble yesterday
because he way laying on top on a fake blueberry pie that I have on my new
baker's rack next to the table in the kitchen!!
WOW!!! It's almost 8am, so I'm going to send this off to you! This is so
very, very NEAT!!! oh...Do you wear glasses???
***
7/06/1993 at 7:21a
yes i have glasses... but lately can't seem to stand to wear them... as
they block my "soft color and tones" vision... looks like we are really
connecting now... i don't remember you telling me about "snow white"...
but then i seem to have trouble remembering stuff... you know... dear...
well, oz off to visit mom in the land of puzzles...
***
93/07/06 at 07:57
And yes...the Snow White thing is very NEAT!!! That's been something I've
always said, or at least very similarly, for as long as I can remember. I
always would ask [N] when he was smaller "Who is Mommy?", and I had him
trained to say "Snow White". And I do really say I'm going to go get my Snow
White clothes on!!! so very very very very NEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
And...Why I asked about the glasses...A couple of nights ago...I'm not
sure exactly when, but I think it may have been Friday night, I woke up and
saw a face in front of me...I wasn't asleep, but kinda "inbetween". It was
just there for a second, and then it was gone. Now, you've described yourself
to me, but have never said anything about glasses, at least not that I can
remember...This face was a man's, it kind of looked like a drawing made the
pencils. I don't think it was "in color", but more like a gray pencil drawing
or charcoal drawing. The man had a few bangs, sort of brushed over to the
sides, a beard and mustache, and glasses, and very kind eyes. I thought of
you when I saw it, but kind of dismissed it because of the glasses. The man
in the dream at the school (like your hospital dream) had glasses, too...But
since I thought it was [J R], I never gave that another thought, because
he wore glasses...but not the kind in the dream...His were the "John Lennon"
kind. The ones on the dream and vision man were more "regular" glasses.
***
93/07/06 16:57
I wouldn't be afraid of the dream at all...Maybe that's where we "know"
each other from...I've told [B] that I often wonder if I had ever been a
member of a harem, or a geisha, or...HORRORS...a prostitute in another life.
I have always had a need, or an "inborn urge" to please men...in all ways,
not just in bed. You know how they love to have their ego stroked, and I
love to see the reactions when I do just that. Plus other things like
dressing for them, and making sure I wear cologne and makeup...You know the
stuff I mean. I get as much from it as they do...Maybe that's where your
"loose woman" comes from...I know that there's one in me, too! Such fun!
The snow white dream was [B]'s, not mine, but since he said it's okay to
tell you, I will...Then I'll "report" why it was special... These will be
[B]'s words, as I'll just use a little trick he taught me...
[B]'s dream...
and i had another myself a little later than she... had some "alice in
...
faded or lost it... and seemed to fall back into the man's arms...
The reason this is SO neat, is because it all really happened, at least in
a round about way. Like, whenever I'm going to get all "girled up", I say
I'm going to change into my Snow White clothes!! Really! I've said that
since [N] was a baby...I had him trained to say "Snow White" when I would
ask him "who is Mommy?".[G]
And, in another dream that [B] thinks was about me and him...I was an old
lady and he an old man...
Then about him seeing "me" at a picnic table sitting very close to a huge
man with brown tossled hair...That really happened on the 4th. I was sitting
in the middle seat at our picnic table by the pool, right next to my brother
who is over a foot taller than me, and has huge broad shoulders, and weighs
probably 250 lbs. He has brown "tossled" hair... I didn't "see" [B], though.
[G]
And the part about being around a table or a set of shelves with nick-
nacks on them, and the black kittens...Well, in my dining area, there is a
bakers rack right next to my kitchen table. Yesterday my cat, Yoda, who is
very, very dark grey, got in trouble because he layed on a fake blueberry
pie that's on the baker's rack!!
And the skyblue "dress" part...I had on sky blue yesterday!! (Well, since
I had no clean clothes...I have the same thing on today, too...See why I'm
doing laundry??!??!)
Isn't this all SO neat?! And now you're starting to have dreams and
feelings that I can relate to, too!
Well, that's all I have to "report", but isn't it amazing!! This is the
best "confirmation" yet! Pretty cool! Either it's an amazing confirmation,
or [B]'s got a camera here someplace! HMMMMMMMMMMM...
***
93/07/06 21:13
I read a couple more chapters in the John N. book today, and was struck by
a line in it. It was: "I am halfway convinced that there are dynamic
patterns in our cosmos; that somehow some of us are caught up in such
patterns and must fulfill them at any cost. I don't know just what I mean,
but I suspect I mean something worthy of consideration". YEAH!! WHAT HE
SAID!!! That's exactly what I feel is going on here. I couldn't stop this if
I tried...Not that I want to. I think it's so awesome (and not in the "teen"
sense of the word.) and wonderful...Why would I want to stop it??? And to
try to explain it to someone on the "outside"...like [A], for instance,
is almost impossible...Anyway...I loved the line. It will help me explain
this whole thing, I think. At least it seems to explain it to ME.
***
93/07/06 at 22:45
...I don't think I'll be surprised at all
when I see a picture of [B]...I've always pictured him as handsome. He's
never said as much to me, but I just "thought so". It wouldn't matter to me,
anyway. I always seem to "attract" that type, though...As much as it has
always surprised me... I told [B] one time that I usually dated men that
were much "prettier" than I. And stuck on themselves!! I hope that's not
[B]!!! I don't see him that way. I've gotten away from that, though...Well,
of course I've gotten away from dating...I'm MARRIED...But, how [D]looked
didn't matter to me at all. He is definitely not the most handsome man I've
ever been with, but the best. I felt good being with the "pretty boys", but
I don't think they helped my self-image a bit....The image I saw was of a
sort of charcoal drawing of a man with very "strong" features...salt and
pepper hair, beard, moustache, glasses, and very kind eyes that were
"medium" in color...It's hard to tell color, because it was a "black, grey
and white" sort of drawing. I only saw it before my eyes for a very short
time right after waking up in the middle of the night a few days ago...either
Thursday or Friday. I thought it was probably [B], but wasn't sure, as he
had never mentioned glasses. They could have represented "insight", I
suppose.