29 Mar 1993
"...Last night after going to bed I began meditating but must have fallen
asleep. Sometime before daylight I awoke to go to the bathroom. When I
laid back down I asked if I could see or know what [J] looked or was
like. Soon I realized I was viewing as if I was standing up and looking
down my chest area. I could see the pattern of my shirt, insides of my
arms, on down toward my waist but this was the limit of my field of vision.
I gradually became aware that there was a woman standing close in front of
me. Her back was only inches from my chest. She was shorter than I, as I
looked down upon her hair. I saw the soft white material around her
shoulders, back and arms. Her redish, brown hair was pulled up lightly into
a roll rising from her right upward, over and under to her left reaching a
peak slightly forward of the center of her head. I could almost smell her
lovely hair. I then sensed that we had moved closer together as my chest
touched her back and my arms were wrapped gently around her shoulders with a
very warm and caring feeling. THEN I WAS ME AGAIN!
"Awake again I could hardly believe I saw and felt what had happened! I
thought I wanted to make sure to remember this so I could tell U about it.
BUT THAT AIN'T ALL!
"I dropped off asleep again. Then I had a dream: the scene was set
around some narrow streets with buildings made of brick or stones. I was
with some men-friends or brothers maybe. I was wanting to speak to the
girl. We were by her house outside the street. I spoke to her up to her
house to maybe someone in the family. I heard her say to them that she
wanted to go to 'somewhere' it being obvious she did not want or expect to
see me here. I called out that I did not want to talk to her and walked
dejectedly away around the back of a building on the street feeling very
sorry. In a moment or so a friend called me to the building edge as there
was someone to see me. And there she was. I urged her to come around back
of the building which she did. And I said to her why are you here? I
looked into her face. I noticed how small she was, barely up to my mid-
chest. She looked as if she was in her teens, or twenties. She didn't
answer but gave me a look which said "are you alright, how do you feel, I
don't want to talk to you!" She then turned around and stalked her tiny
self off. As she moved away she muttered "It's over for you, Catherine!" I
was dejected! The wind picked up and I saw the dry, broken leaves whirl and
blow against the stone wall nearby.
"...a scene from far ago, I'm sure."
...this was the first time I ever knew or heard the
name, Catherine! When I had the dream I supposed that the tiny girl said
"It's over for you, Catherine!" as she walked away just as I reported in my
writeup. Later I realized what I suspect happened was that as she walked
away I was so focused on watching her! THEN a voice said "It's over for
you, Catherine!" meaning that catherine's long effort in reaching thru to
[B] was at last accomplished... [you know how thick headed and dense those
earthlings can be even when a spirit works SO very hard and SO very long to
try to get one of them's attention [GGG]?]. Notice the two different ways
to interpret what I thought had occurred with quite a difference in
meaning??? Also the ACTUAL dream itself and my perceptions within the
experience are poorly reflected in the telling via words - much stuff like
feeling, where focus is drawn, the strength of the power of the look between
the dream-me and the tiny girl doesn't get into the words (losses also to
forgetting some stuff by the time I wrote it down).
***
16 May 1993
"...I had a very interesting meditation experience last night again! I
went to bed around 9:00 pm or so. I went thru my meditation preface as
usual asking to be shown more about what alternate forms of money making
might be and to be shown more about what my purpose in reincarnating might
be. I also talked about the 'initiation dream' from the night before and
asked if I could see catherine or somehow know that she was there so that I
could reach out to her if I am unsure or a little scared in these
experiences. ... Then I settled into looking and watching. I think I have
found out what it is I have been doing lately while I am in meditation but
can't remember anything later. It seems to be that I am learning and
practicing to turn on and watch in the other reality with my spiritual eyes
or so that was what was going on last night!!! I was trying to focus my
sight on my chest and legs, my arms and hands, etc. And I was getting it
done too with varing degrees of success! After I had done this for a while
I felt I wanted to stop the 'formal' meditation part and just roll over on
my side and continue the looking and watching. So I did.
... I was still looking and watching when I must have slipped into a
reverie. At first I didn't know I was there as it was dream-like. There
was a machine over to my left in front of me that was running (kind of
reminds me of a newspaper printing press). I noticed that some cloth pieces
or something would fly by. Then I looked up at the machine and noticed that
there was some cloth material that seemed to be caught in the gears and
levers which would sometimes tear and be slung out from the machine. I went
over to the door and noticed [P]? looking thru racks of clothes as if in a
kind of store's room. I hollered to her to come in here and check that
machine to make sure that it doesn't let cloth get caught and shredded in
it. Then I went back to what I was doing. ... I was looking at the fabric
of a chair which fabric looked like imitation leather pattern. The chair
was like a reclining chair, not a soft cushy one but one more austere and
upright. I noticed loose dirt scattered upon the seat of the chair. I used
my hand and brushed the dirt away wondering how the dirt had got there.
...AS I DID THAT, I noticed that someone was sitting in the chair. I
leaned back to sit down in my chair which was facing to the left of the
other chair. The fronts of the two chairs were just a little forward but
side by side whereby our knees were close enough together that I could reach
out and touch the other person's knee. As I sat down I reached out and
placed my hand on the knee of the other person. As I was settling into my
chair I said "Let me sit down here in this chair, honey.!" I was startled
and looked up when I saw a woman sitting in the chair. She said to me
"I like honeys. I use to know a honey a long time ago."
The woman was looking directly at me. Her eyes were soft and knowing. She
was in her 60's or 70's with grayish hair placed up upon her head (not
hanging down about her neck). She seemed to have dark eyebrows. She was
slender wearing a long dress that filled the chair in which she was sitting.
As I had sit down I was feeling the kind of feeling when one stops to rest
and justs lets being in the same room with another loved one relax you. As
I looked up at her I really didn't know her but she wasn't a stranger
either. In a way my feeling was kind of blank and I was puzzled. When she
said she use to know a honey a long time ago I was thinking this must mean
me/us when we were younger as she seemed quite old now. After a few seconds
of gazing at the woman sitting in the chair the scene ended and I
immediately awoke.
... Immediately I thought I wonder if that is catherine? I laid there for
a long time talking softly to myself about what I had seen and felt and
understood (so catherine could hear if she was around). I speculate that
this was catherine in a form calculated to be most likely to be one I may
have known in the time and place when I knew her. She phrased her words so
as to increase my curiosity and want to know more i.e. she did not say what
her name was or why she was there in front of me!!! She must have chosen a
tender moment from a common experience which we had at some former time. I
had felt when I was sitting down in the chair that I was much older. I had
said then to 'let me sit down here in this chair, honey' suggesting that I
knew her very well. I think I was old like her, a male I think, maybe her
husband but don't know. Maybe I had a pet name for her, 'honey'. She
certainly had a warm feeling about her as I watched her face when she said
'I like honeys. I use to know a honey a long time ago.' We were just
talking like two people do who have known each other and are very familiar
and close. ... When I was little I use to get this feeling that sometimes I
was old and would like to know and sit and talk to old people. I don't know
where that feeling came from. But it would come and go. I haven't felt
that feeling for a long time. In fact I had forgotten about that, not
remembered that feeling for many years"