Last time I wrote I was getting ready to "nudge" [B] but he was not
interested in doing anything... I was really keyed up from all the good
things that happened all day, I didn't feel like sleeping... He was a little
upset with me when I started to get back on the computer to write you some
more, so he turned off the computer and said to save it until morning... I
was a little put off at his attitude but now I understand that I was not to
get on the computer at that specific time as I had some "things" that needed
to come out... By denying me the use of the computer, I was forced to go to
bed... I looked out our window as I saw flashing light, thinking maybe the
sky had cleared enough to see the meteor shower... alas it was just heat
lightning... I decided I was going to meditate on why [B] was upset with
me... As I went deeper and deeper I saw the Earth circling below me...
reminded me of pictures from space... then I saw an opening and I was being
pulled down into a long dark tunnel, spiraling as I was going down... I
finally quit spinning... I asked where I was and was told I was in Rome,
Italy during the Roman days... I was being chased and was running so fast
but whoever was chasing me was catching up fast... I could see off in the
distance what appeared to be fires all around the city... When I turned
around to see who was chasing me I saw this big black glove and it was
trying to smother me... I was having a hard time breathing and [B] woke me
up and got my breathing back to normal... He said to go and ask my guides
why this was happening and who was doing this to me...The person chasing me
was my father... I asked him why and he said he had to do something to me
that would hurt me... that he loved me very much and this was going to be a
very hard thing for him to do... I asked him what and he said he has to kill
me because he does not want me to be raped by the Roman soldiers who are
chasing him... They have orders to kill all the woman and female
children... so he starts to beat me with a club all the time telling me how
much he loves me and that this is really hurting him so very much, he is
crying as he is beating me... I finally am surrounded by darkness... I feel
myself floating out of my body, to a spot just above my body... I can see
the Roman soldiers catching up to my father and they are beating him because
he has already taken my life... they are mad at him because he has denied
them any chance of raping me... they beat my father to death... My father's
soul rises out of his body and I tell him how much I love him and he tells
me how much he loves me and how sorry he is for what he had to do and that
we will always be together... always... We were being killed by the soldiers
who were given orders to kill by the emperor Ceasar, the one who was in
charge when Cleopatra was living... we were not Roman citizens... My
father's name is Joseph Henry and my name is Katrina and my father is my
husband [B] today... [B] is calming me down and telling me to ask my
guides why I had to go thru this experience and what it means... I needed to
release this bad event and know that my father really did love me and that
he killed me because he did not want me to suffer at the hands of the
soldiers... he gave his life too because he loved me so very much... [B]
then gets me to calm down once again... Soon I am relaxed enough and [B]
asks me if this has happened any more times, in past lives... I drift off
and soon I am Sarah, age 14 and my mother has instructed my father Jacob
that he is to break my hymen so that I will no longer be a virgin... this is
what was done to Amish girls by their fathers back in the old days... So we
went off to their room, just my father and me... He proceeds to just enter
me enough to break the hymen... As he is doing this he starts to move back
and forth causing me intense pain... He tells me that it will be better the
next time... He is playing with my large breasts and makes me promise not
to tell my mother... My father's name is ELI and my mother's name is
Rebekkah... Another time a year later when I was 15 my mother has gone to
visit her sister in another part of the county and will be gone for about a
week... I was left behind to help my father with my brothers and sisters...
My father orders me to go into his bedroom and undress... I obey him as he
is my father... He then proceeds to f... me and suck my breasts and makes
me feel his c... and work my hand up and down... He comes inside me this
time and tells me to go wash myself out real good and makes me promise not
to tell Momma... When I was 18, my father became more insistant and I
started to resist him as I was sure my mother would find out about all the
extra times we were together... This last time I started to have stomach
problems a few months later... It was then discovered I was pregnant by my
father... My mother made arrangements for a midwife to come and perform an
abortion on me as that would be called incest... I was glad it was over as I
did not want to have my fathers' child... I was then introduced to Jacob
who would later become my husband and the father of my children... [B]
instructed me to relax again and asked me if I wanted to share any other
lives with him at this time... I told him I was an Indian woman who lived in
Wyoming... I, Rose Marie, age 16, was on a wagon train headed for
California in the 1830's when we were ambushed by a group of Indians... I
was literally picked up by one of the braves and taken back to their camp...
I was later told that all my family had been slaughtered and I was taken
because I was the right age, with long red hair and green eyes... I was
presented to the Chief as a gift from the massacre... There were two braves
who wanted to make me their squaw... they fought over me and "Laughing
Waters" won, made me is squaw and named me "Sweet Leilah"... we had two
sons together... then he was killed in a bloody massacre by some soldier
from a nearby fort... this man who was my husband reminds me of [RS],
a guy who does cabinets for us at work... He is a seventh day
adventist... The chief decides I need another brave, and finally I end up
with "Laughing with the Earth" the brave who originally lost me to "Laughing
Waters"... We had two daughters and lived a very long fruitful life
together... We have many grandchildren and great grandchildren and they are
very kind to us and take very good care of us... My two sons from my first
husband are [D] and [N] today... One of my grandaughters is [R] and one
of my great grandaughters is [E] and another grandaughter is [C] and
a great grandson is [T]... Laughing with the Earth is [B] today... You
see we have been in many past lives together.
One BIG HAPPY FAMILY... [B] has now instructed me to relax, breathe deeply
and wake up... WHEW!! I feel calm and relaxed and not at all upset...
What a trip this has been... [B] said I was a very busy time traveler...
What I wanted to tell you before I was so rudely denied access to the
computer (I love you [B], I know now why you did it, smooch, smooch) was
that in the thing you were talking about earlier about the types of dress
at the orgies... caftans and the women seemed to have very elaborate hair
styles, all tied up with gold strings and pearls and lots of jewels on their
necks and arms... There eyes were made up very heavily with lots of
turquoise, brilliant blues and greens... really made their eyes stand
out...
[B] is most anxious to send this off... It is still thundering outside..
Looks like it will be an all nighter, the storm "silly" not [B]... Talk to
you in the morning, sis...
Love,
"Katrina, Sarah, Rose Marie, Sweet Leilah"
I forgot to add one significant detail last night that the midwife in the
Amish part of my dream is my Aunt [B] now and she is still watching over me
and tending to my needs without me asking... In the "Indian dream" there is
one particular squaw who seems very interested in helping me adjust to my
new life... She is small, dark brown hair, very expressive eyes... Her
names is "Smiling One"... she is a teacher of sorts to me as I do not know
very many of the customs of the Indian people... I learn how to cook from
her, how to make clothes, how to skin a rabbit, deer, and buffalo... I can
see her face now as she is turning to me... very very beautiful... Big
smile with big sensual lips... I asked my guides who this is and they tell
me it is [C] who is in our life now... I ask how can this be as I am being
told that [C] is one of our grandchildren... I am reminded that the older
[C] died before any of our grandchildren were born and was quickly
reincarnated into one of our grandchildren... in the Indian custom,
reincarnation comes very quickly as I am being told... You have been with
me all along, through all kinds of lives and experiences... we are so
connected we will never be able to break the tether line... unbreakable,
unbendable, unsnapable...