Dearest [B],
I hope, now, to be able to clarify for you some of what you asked.
I do believe that you could probably clarify these things for yourself by
slowing yourself and listening, for the answers are there for all of us. I
am delighted to help, though, so do not think that I am not.
In Rome, you were a man in the city who, like others, was unable to
care for his family for there was no work, no money, no food, and much
unrest. When the people began to, well, riot for lack of a better word, you
lost control of yourself and joined in the rioting. An innocent person
caught in the middle was brought down by you. You swung a blunt object over
and over until it was done. It was the sight of what you had done that
caused you to leave then and to do no more harm, but nonetheless you took
with you guilt. You hold it still and it causes you problems. You did not
recover your purpose in that life, and died a miserable soul, eaten away by
guilt. The one whose life you took Is with you now, possibly a sister, or
your wife. You still seek forgiveness for that deed and yet there is no
sign from this person that all is not already forgiven. The lack of
forgiveness is yours. Forgive yourself, my dear, and you will feel better.
In the process of letting the guilt eat you up, you forgot why you had
incarnated that time, to serve the Lord in the way that you could best. I
see that you were a gentle and loving man, as you are today, and it was by
what you did and how you held your eyes upon the Lord, not by what you said,
that you served him best. You failed to serve after guilt took over, and
thus in this life you try too hard to accomplish what you feel was left
undone then. Ie: the serving of God. You serve God now, and you serve Him
best by listening to the inner voices for they will guide you to do what you
have come to do. Now as then, it is by what you do and how you do yourself
that you may serve best, not by what you say. But you are searching, and if
you listen you will not be able to help but do what you came to do of your
own choice.
I cannot tell you how I do what I do, I just listen. I do not hear
voices, nor do I "see" the things I write about. I do not use a trance. I
simply type the thoughts that come to me when I pray for answers to help
someone. I look at the "book of all knowledge" so to speak, and I get the
answers. I am blessed to be here now helping with the work of the Lord. I
have always been empathic and intuitive, and I do visualize. I have not,
though, always known that I served God. I searched for many years before I
began to understand why I am here. Know this, that you will find your
answers and you will choose what you will for we are always free to choose,
but you came here to help too. Love, [J]