There are brilliant yellows and oranges about you that swirl and dance about and these show the intelligence and profound thinking that you do and you have formed this question many times. The lavenders and blues show that you do know the Lord for you have been with Him before and He knows you well. The silver and gold that turn about you are the glimpses you have had this time and they move quickly and mix with reds for you are excited now and looking for the way in which you should proceed but know dear [B] that you will find these answers only within yourself for God is there and love is there and these will be your guides. You are an old soul, one who has traveled many times through this place and you have worked to help mankind before and you will do so again. You do so now. There are light and airy greens for your love of nature is strong. Do not separate yourself from those things that you do love for you have built the walls yourself and you must break them down. There is grey and pink about your heart and it is loneliness that causes this but how can one who is filled with God and love be alone? You fool yourself sometimes and see things that are not real at all, and they will melt before your very eyes if you will meditate on them and understand that forgiveness is the greatest healer, and love. Do not let your loneliness make you ill for this it will unless you release it for it is simply an illusion and you may have the answers any time you would but choose to listen for God has sent you as He has sent us and we will help you but you must slow down and be still inside and listen for the whispers of the truth. We are with you always and will stay with you for we love you as God loves you as all life loves you and you know this in your heart and thus you see it in the nature and the Earth. There are points of your energy streaking outward from you and these would be better used within. Meditate upon them and you will turn them back and receive them as you are receiving an old and dear friend for it is yourself and you may give this freely but only when you may hold it. There are sparkling colors of silver and white that show your knowledge of the truth; you hold within you now that which it is you search for. There is an inflamed redness about the spleen area, that appears to result from a life you led with roman people. There was unrest and poverty and disease abounding and the people would form crowds and rampage through the cities. You lost your hold upon yourself and rampaged also and took the life of an innocent who is with you now, again, in this life and you fear that you do not have forgiveness although there is nothing to indicate that you do not. It is guilt and anger at yourself for you failed to complete the work you chose to do in that cycle and now feel that you must do twice as much to make up for it. You will not believe the beauty and freedom of loving yourself, of forgiving yourself. All has already been forgiven and forgotten by all but you so release this anger and guilt and bitterness and you will discover the way in which you need to go now. The Father watches you and loves you and knows already that you will find that which you seek, and He waits for he knows that this time you will not fail as you did before. Love... [J]