The worthless crap page is something people like to call
satire. With this page I am in effect making fun of all those lame ass
personal web pages out there. Sure, you may think that is a pretty bad cop-out
answer but it's true. If you've been paying attention, and using your brain,
then you SHOULD have realized that. Of course, I do put a certain amount of
myself into the page so at least it seems real. In other words, the photos of
me, my bro, my dog, etc. are quite real. the links are quite real, and the
people on my friends page are all quite real, and in a very hacked up way (of
course), fit the descriptions. Basically, I'm trying to epitomize the
bandwidth wasting that goes on in just about every free site in existence.
Type in a random Geocities site, and sure enough, it's going to be some
stupid, lame ass, pathetic page about some dork no one gives a damn about,
well, except for his mommy who is so proud of her little boy making his very
own web page that she must run off and tell everyone about it. Thanks Mom!
Love Ya!
You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that
one out. Just look at the crap all over my damn site. Sheesh, are you alive?
Gawd... I honestly hope that you didn't think that I am anywhere near as
pathetic as I portray on this site... I'm actually much, much worse ;-)
3. If you're not 100% like
you portray yourself via this site, what are you then?
I'm a stereotypical, punk ass, cynical, liberal, college student,
who knows more about computers and such than your average frat boy who can't
get laid (no, I do not live in a frat house). I can get girls, and chicks
really do dig me 'cause I'm a "stud muffin". If anything, I'm only
portraying the "computer geek" part of me. However, I am a very
funny person but I do the very things I make fun of people for such as playing
RPGs, and having my own web page. Call me a hypocrite, but I find a lot of
humor in the whole irony of the situation. If you don't believe me, then fine,
be that way. It's not like I care. I'll kindly direct you to another web page.
Of course, you're the one who came here in the first place, so that makes you
the dork.
The WCP has been around in some form or another since
sometime in 1997. It first started out as a "separate" section of an
RPG page (for the RPGs "Call of Cthulhu" and "Rifts") that
I was hell-bent on making (you can still see the RPG page at http://www.angelfire.com/wi/rpgfreak00).
After a while, I came to the realization that it was just like every other
page out there, and thus, the WCP was born. It started out simple, and you can
view the beginnings of it by clicking on the link "Stupid Worthless
Stuff" on the main page. What you would be looking at is basically the
main page of the first WCP. the other parts consisted of the "My
Picture" and "The World's Hardest Test" links. I haven't
touched the RPG page since 1999, and frankly, I don't even give a rat's ass
about it. The rather ironic thing about it is that I was getting more hits on
the worthless crap page which was a back burner project, than I was on the RPG
page that I worked so hard to make, and thus, re-prioritized the time I was
spending making my web page. The idea behind the WCP hasn't ever changed since
I started making it though.
Well, to start things off, I think we should first ask
the question "What is a Byakhee?" Fans of the horror author H.P.
Lovecraft will have no problem answering that question, but for those of you
who don't read unless asked to by an authority figure, a Byakhee is a type of
monster detailed in Lovecraft's short story "The Festival". Now, on
to the real question. For the fans of Lovecraft AND RPGs, you know there is a
game called "Call of Cthulhu". At the time when I started making my
web page, which happened to be about that game, at the time, I needed a
"handle" as they are commonly called. I would have gone with
"Cthulhu" but every RPG AND Lovecraft fan (and their brother) uses
that name, so I didn't want to take that one. For a short time, I was
considering "Rpgfreak00" (you can see this in my choice of name for
my first web page above) but it sounded lame for some reason... I really
can't figure out why. Sure, there were tons of other possibilities, but
Byakhee just sounded good, and stuck. Don't ask where the 00 comes from,
because I have since forgotten or there was never a reason to begin with. For
you dumb people, "I don't know".
I actually update more often than is noted by the date on
the main page. Maybe once a week. Usually to fix spelling errors, broken
links, etc. Normally, I don't do "large" updates for the sole
purpose of the idea behind the web page, which is to be a satire on all the
other websites out there (which of course, never get updated). But for those
of you who only like the large updates, they come around whenever I feel like
it, which can be anywhere from once a month to once a year.
Please feel free to do so, all that I ask are 2 things.
1. That you don't make any custom banners or anything. Why? because I
have one that I would prefer that you use. You can see it right below. You can
use the code I have posted below, or make your own. I could really care less
what you do. Why? because it's your page, not mine!
<map
name="WCPMap1"><area href="http://devoted.to/worthlesscrap"
shape="rect" coords="98, 45, 370,
59"></map><img border="0" src="LOCATION
OF THE BANNER GOES HERE!" usemap="#WCPMap1"
width="468" height="60">
Now that you've done that, I'm going to ask you to do one
more thing. 2. Please e-mail me
with the URL of your web site, basically, so that I can see what else is being
done across the web, and thus, make my web page better reflect the majority of
the pages out there. For you stupid people, that means I want your URL so I
can make fun of your page via what I do on the WCP and thus, making the WCP
better. Besides, if I REALLY like your site, and I mean A LOT, I'll post a
link to it as well.
Easy question. Because everyone thinks they suck. Well,
except for the people who put them out, and the people who make money off of
them. They probably like the ad banners because they're getting paid. However,
I am not getting paid to make this page, nor am I particularly fond of any of
the products sold via ad banners. Put two and two together, and you'll
understand.
9. What if I'm offended
by something on your page?
If it's something in the forums or guestbook, and I did
not write it, e-mail me, and I'll
have it taken care of. If that's the case, and you're offended by something on
my site that I wrote, then either you're a complete and total moron, and need
to get your brain fixed and get some self esteem, or you're a fundamentalist
Christian, and you read the "Fundies are Dumb" stuff, in which case
I'll reiterate and say that you're a total moron. I don't have an axe to grind
with fundamentalist Christians, I do, however, find their way of thinking
primitive, bigoted, egotistical, borderline delusional and downright kooky. I
don't care to go into it here, but either way, if you've taken offence to
anything on my site, whether you're a fundamentalist Christian or not, e-mail
me and I'll attempt to fix your brain.
10. What, if anything,
do you have "in the works"?
Wow, that's a good question. I'm always coming up with
new ideas for stuff to post to the WCP. Sadly, most, however never sees the
light of day. Because of this, it's a really tough call on what will be coming
next. I'd like to avoid promising anything at this point, but I will try to
remember to post things that are "in the works" in the news on the
main WCP page. By "in the works" I mean that I have started working
on the actual page for it/associated things. The next addition to the WCP
could be anything from a crazy idea of mine to one of my more-or-less failed
programming abominations to a total re-build. Expect the worst, and I mean it.
Of course, I'm always open to suggestions, and if you've got a great idea that
you would love to see, e-mail me
and let me know about it, and I'll make an attempt to make it happen.
