Driven to Death

Sitting, hands pressed on eyes, watching a narrow dark road flow slowly beneath me, feeling the hum of tires in my feet. No wheel in my hands, no windshield or hood between me and what's ahead. Sensing a drag toward the right edge, though never quite going over the precipice. Thinking this is the aftermath of having driven 350 miles today. Thinking this is Missouri highway 64 or Hickory County J. But these hills never rise, only curve downward with dark wilderness on both sides. Darkness deepens, the descent gets steeper. Dim blurry white shapes appear to the right side. Then dark nondescript animal forms appear in the road but are gone before impact. I want the movie to end now, but it doesn't — and I don't know how to bring it to conclusion without simply interrupting it by taking away my hands and opening my eyes. I want Spirit to tell me how it ends, but she just flows the dark narrow road endlessly with shadowy road branches appearing to the right that melt before I reach them. Follow the light, I remind myself. But there is no light.

03/08/03