Libra
Act II

Prologue to Act 2

RENATA
Alone in a spotlight, speaks directly to the audience, with bitterness.
Lies, secrets, and silence. The story of my life since the day I walked out of that jail. To get a job, to make friends, to be accepted into Wild Wind Community, and now into Libra.
Accusingly.
People on the outside can't handle the fact that I've been incarcerated. You rest easier if bad people are locked up . . . and you need to believe that the people locked up are bad. Bad people can't be trusted. Not ever. When they get out, let them live somewhere else, work for someone else . . . fall in love with someone else.

It gets to be a habit--the lies, the secrets and the silence. So why am I taking up with this man who believes in total honesty between lovers? Go figure.
Her tone softens.
But damn it! He's really got it together! He walks his talk. That's important to me. And I like the way he . . . well, maybe we could . . . . No, . . . I'm dreaming. It'll never turn out all right. I'm a fool even to hope. How dare I take a chance?

Act 2
Scene 1 The living room of Capricorn's farm house the following Monday
morning.

There's an old couch and a coffee table. Grace and Juno are seated on the couch, looking at a photo album. A pile of photo albums is on a coffee table by the couch.

JUNO
What happened here? Your head and both hands are all bandaged up!

GRACE
We were protesting after I was fired for being a lesbian. Several men attacked us with pipes and bottles. They broke the fingers in both my hands and gave me a concussion. Several others who were picketing were injured, too. Including Leah.

JUNO
Takes Grace's hands in hers to look at them closely.
My god! No wonder you have arthritis in your fingers now!

GRACE
I guess I was lucky not to have any after-effects of the concussion. And I'm grateful that I can still make myself useful around here.

JUNO
Puts an arm around Grace, then turns a page.
Oh, what's this? A group picture of the founders of Capricorn, right?

GRACE
Yes, that was our summer solstice celebration the following year. It's a great life! I wouldn't live any other way.

JUNO
Was it difficult to have a group that included both gay and straight? I've wondered why you didn't just found a lesbian community.

GRACE
I was worried about that, too, at first. There were some rough times, but we all grew from the experience. I'm glad now that we made Capricorn more inclusive.
Closes her album, lays it on the table.
Now let's look at one of your albums. I'm eager to know more about your life, too.

JUNO
Picks up a small album, opens to first page.
OK, here's a good one to start on. I pulled pictures from several albums to make a perspective on my son Nathan's first eighteen years. Here he is when we first adopted him just out of the hospital where he was born. . . . . . . And here's his first birthday.
Flips to the back of the album, laughing.
And here he is on his high school graduation day. Look at his expression in this one; it's the same look as that one-year-old with frosting all over his face!

GRACE
What a happy guy!

JUNO
Her mood shifts to sadness.
The week after he started college that next fall--that would have been 1988--we dropped a bombshell on him, poor kid. Roberta moved into her own apartment and began dating Janice, one of our long-time friends. I'd known for years that she wasn't in love with me anymore, but I kept hoping that we could work through it and stay together. She was just waiting until Nathan graduated. When he went off to college, she moved out.

GRACE
Did you break off contact with her then?

JUNO
No, we kept in touch because we had the same circle of friends. And because we didn't want our alienation to make life harder for Nathan. After awhile, I let go of my disappointment, and we became friends again.

GRACE
Why didn't you find another partner right away? That was twelve years ago!

JUNO
I decided to try the single life and pour all my energy into my ministry. By that time I was the pastor of a fairly large Unitarian church. I'd just retired when I found you on the Internet.

GRACE
Lucky for me you retired and began looking!

OX
Enters from the door to the kitchen.
Oh, there you are, Juno. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to Prairieville tomorrow morning. It's our weekly delivery of produce for the CSA. It'd be a chance for you to see our sister community, Libra, and meet some of their members.

JUNO
I'd like that, Ox.

OX
I'd like to introduce you to all the Libra folks. They've got a new member, too, just joined a week or so ago. Name's Renata. That's her community name. I forgot her real name already.

JUNO
What time do you want to leave in the morning, Ox?

OX
Could you help me load the car right after breakfast? I always like to get an early start.

JUNO
Sure thing. I'm looking forward to it. Renata and I can exchange notes on how it feels to be new members.

Scene 2 The front porch of Libra, Tuesday morning.

Ox enters left, carrying a box of potatoes. Juno is right behind him with a cooler of dairy products. Bee comes through the door to the porch.

BEE
Hi, Ox. I'll take the box.
Nods to Juno.
Hello, I'm Bee.

OX
Hi, Bee. This is Juno, Grace's new partner. Juno, Bee is a long-time member of Libra.

JUNO
Pleased to meet you, Bee. Shall I carry this to the 'frig?

BEE
Good to meet you, Juno. Sure, come on in.
Juno, holding the cooler's handle in one hand, opens the door for Bee who is holding the box with both hands. Then she follows him inside. Ox turns to go get more produce when Renata enters right, coming along the side of the house, pushing a wheel barrow. There are several bags of leaves down stage right which she loads into the wheelbarrow as Ox and she talk.

OX
Hi, Renata. Gathering your compost materials, eh?

RENATA
Hi, Ox. Yeh, it takes a lot of compost to garden.

OX
Juno is here with me today, Renata. You know, Grace's new partner? I want you to meet her.

Ox's back is to the door when Bee and Juno come to the porch from the house. Juno and Renatta recognize each other instantly, and both show their surprise and consternation. Renata abruptly turns the wheelbarrow around and wheels it out of sight of those on the porch but still visible to the audience along the side of the house. She stands, still grasping the handles of the wheelbarrow, listening to the others. Bee has taken all of this in, watches Renata retreat, then looks at Juno for an explanation.

OX
Turns and sees Juno.
Shoot! I didn't get a chance to introduce you to Renata. She's the new member of Libra I told you about. Used to live at Wild Wind Community. She visited our community before she came here to visit. I kinda hoped she'd like us better than you folks, Bee, since she's such a good farm hand. Seems a waste for her to live here in town.

JUNO
She's covering for Renata, realizing that Renata has not told Libra about her past.
That's OK, Ox. Another time. She's probably real busy with yard work.

BEE
Not that busy. What's going on? What made her so upset?

OX
Blamed if I know, Bee. We was talking about compost when suddenly she up and left.

BEE
Something happened between you two, Juno. I saw the look on her face when she saw you. Do you know each other?

JUNO
We've met. But that was a long time ago. Thirty years.

BEE
Thirty years. Exactly? You mean in 1970?

JUNO
Well, yes. It was in 1970.

BEE
Please tell me about it, Juno. I really care about Renata. And that's the year she won't talk about.

JUNO
I can't do that, Bee. I'm a minister. It's a matter of professional ethics to keep people's confidences.

BEE
Oh. So you were her minister. You know something about her that she doesn't want us to know! She doesn't even want us to know that she knows you! Something about this is very strange. I don't like it.

JUNO
I really can't talk about it at all, Bee. You'll have to ask Natalie, . . . I mean Renata. But I will say that she is a good person. I thought a lot of her; she was one of my favorite people at the . . .
She stops, realizing she has said too much.

BEE
At the what? You almost let it slip out! Where did you know her? In some kind of an institution? Oh, god! How can this be happening?
Bee's anguish shows in his body language. Then he gives up trying to get information from Juno and goes down the steps and around the house to where Renata is. She sets down the wheelbarrow and turns to face him. He puts his hands on her shoulders, looks into her eyes.
Please tell me what happened thirty years ago. I can't bear to have secrets between us. Having everything out in the open is the most important thing in the world to me.

RENATA
Her voice is cold and hard; she has given up all hope of happiness at this moment.
All right. I'll tell you. I met Rev. Cadeau when I was in jail and she was the chaplain. I was there because I killed two men, my husband and another man. I'm sorry I deceived you about my past. I'll go pack now and leave Libra tomorrow morning.

Bee is stunned, not only because of the information, but also at her tone. He takes his hands from her shoulders and stands watching her in bewilderment as she exits upstage right with the wheelbarrow.

Scene 3 The kitchen of Capricorn Community, early that afternoon.

Ox, Juno and Grace are still around the table after lunch.

OX
. . . then Renata told Bee that she'd murdered her husband and some other guy, and then she offered to leave Libra. I was flabbergasted! How could such a solid, reliable person . . . hard worker and all . . . be a murderer?

GRACE
Did you know she was in prison for murder, Juno?

JUNO
She wasn't in prison; she was in jail. If she had been convicted of murder, she would have been in prison. She might have been in jail while awaiting trial, though. But to answer your question, no, I didn't know why she was there. My policy was never to ask an inmate what they were in for. During my years as jail chaplain, I was careful not to read newspaper accounts of arrests so I wouldn't be prejudiced against anyone I counseled. I believed my most important function was to counteract the depersonalization and alienation of being branded as a social outcast, a throwaway.

GRACE
How long was she in jail?

JUNO
She was there for a year. But there's much more to the connection I have with her than that. She was pregnant when she got there and gave birth while she was still in jail. She and I agreed on a private adoption through a lawyer. That way she could choose her child's mother, and I could avoid the adoption agencies that discriminate against lesbians. I wasn't completely honest with her, though. I was in the closet then, and hid my lesbianism from everyone. I told her that agencies discriminated against single parents, which was also true.

GRACE
But why didn't she ask you to be just a foster mother until she could get out of jail in a few more months? Why did she give the baby up altogether?

JUNO
She felt very strongly about not wanting the baby to know his mother had been in jail. She made me promise never to tell him about her. That was a very hard promise to keep after he got old enough to be curious. It was very important to me not to lie to him. But if I'd told him his birth mother didn't want him to know about her, without telling him why, it would have hurt him. So I just went into silence whenever he tried to tease it out of me. He thought I didn't want him to know his birth mother, that I was jealous of her. That seemed better to me than casting any suspicion on Natalie.

GRACE
That must have been rough for you, Darling. Will you have to keep this up all your life?

JUNO
No, it's over now. Nathan told me almost two years ago that he had tracked her down and met her in Des Moines. I don't know what he knows about her, but he can find out from her now, so he won't have to try to pry anything out of me.

GRACE
Is Nathan still in touch with Renata?

JUNO
Yes, I think so. I don't know how often they call each other, though. He hadn't mentioned to me that she was at Libra. And obviously she didn't know I was here. If I'd known, I would have tried to get in contact with her in private to find out if she were keeping her past secret.

OX
So you don't agree with Bee that Libra has a right to know?

JUNO
That's a very difficult one for me to call. Society makes it terribly hard for someone with a record to re-enter society. As I said, I kept my sexual orientation secret for years. So I know the feeling of being an outcast. And I can fully appreciate the pressure to be dishonest about oneself. I don't really think Natalie poses a threat to anyone. I believe she is the person she seems to be now; whatever she was in her youth.

GRACE
When Nathan comes here to visit at the end of the month, should we be careful not to mention Renata?

JUNO
No, I don't want to hide anything from him anymore. In fact, I think I'll call him now and tell him what happened.
She goes to the phone on the wall and dials. Spotlight on her only.

NATHAN'S VOICE
As if being heard on the phone.
Hello?

JUNO
Hello, Nathan. This is Mom. Is this a good time to talk?

NATHAN'S VOICE
Sure, Mom. What's up?

JUNO
Something's happened that I want you to know about, Nathan. I ran into Natalie Fieldstone this morning.

NATHAN'S VOICE
That's wonderful, Mom! I've been hoping the two of you could reconnect and be friends. Where is she now? I haven't heard from her for about a month, and her phone has been disconnected where she lived in Des Moines. I was afraid I'd lost her again. And now you've found her for me!

JUNO
Something terrible happened, Nathan. I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. But Natalie was very upset to see me . . . and . . . I don't know what I can tell you that might be giving too much away . . . .

NATHAN'S VOICE
It's OK, Mom. I know all about her jail term. What happened? Why would she be upset to see you?

JUNO
She's joined Libra, a community in Prairieville only about ten miles from Capricorn here. She didn't tell them anything about her record. But a young man called Bee noticed her reaction when she saw me. He tried to get me to explain it, and I wouldn't tell him how I knew her. But then Natalie confessed that she had killed two men, one of them her husband and the other someone she didn't know. We were all shocked speechless when she said that. Natalie told him she would leave Libra tomorrow afternoon.

NATHAN'S VOICE
Anguished.
Oh, Mom!

JUNO
I'm so sorry, Nathan. I was trying very hard to cover for her. But I'm not good at deceit.
Or at least not when I'm caught off guard like that.

NATHAN'S VOICE
I'm not blaming you, Mom. It's just that I'd been worried about her keeping all to herself the way she has since she left that big community. She needs to have more connections with people. So I was really pleased when she said she was going to look for another community.

JUNO
Libra Community must have been just what she's looking for; she joined right after her visitor period.

NATHAN'S VOICE
But maybe she'll be able to find another she likes just as well.

JUNO
It's worse than that, Nathan. Grace tells me communities have a network, and they share information about members or visitors they have problems with. Natalie may not be able to get another community to accept her. She probably knows this and may not even try. She reacted like someone who had given up hope. I have the feeling she'll pull back into her shell. I've seen a lot of that in my years of counseling. Both inside and outside the corrections system.

NATHAN'S VOICE
That is bad, Mom. I really want to see her change the way she's been living.

JUNO
She may need to change how she relates to people. It's emotionally very difficult to live with big secrets. I remember how it was in the closet all those years. It must be even more painful to live with the knowledge that you'd murdered two men. And have to keep it a secret. And people will reject her for that.

NATHAN'S VOICE
But Mom, don't you know . . . ?
Interrupting himself with sudden urgency.
Mom, tell me how to get to Libra. If Natalie won't tell them the whole truth, then I will.

JUNO
I hope you can patch things up, Nathan. Go to Kansas City, take Highway 35 north out of Kansas City and . . .
Her voice fades out as the instrumental part of "When I Fall in Love" replaces it.

Scene 4 Bee's room at Libra, that evening.

Bee is sitting cross-legged on the floor, meditating, with New Age music playing softly. His tape player is on the floor beside him. Renata is in the hall, knocking softly at his door.

RENATA
Bee, I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. Please let me talk to you before I go.

BEE
Pushes the pause button on his tape player, rises, opens the door. With total reserve, tonelessly.
Come in, Renata . . . Natalie Fieldstone . . . whoever you are.

RENATA
Comes into his room. He indicates the chair and she sits. He resumes his position on the floor.
Thank you, Bee . . . Vince Domingo . . . whoever you are. I have a community name in the same way you have.

BEE
Still guarding his feelings.
Granted. What do you want to say to me?

RENATA
I want you to know that I'm sorry I deceived you. This is going to sound like excuses, I know, but I'd like to explain why I didn't tell you the whole truth. I trusted my second husband the way you wanted me to trust you. I told you a little about that when we were discussing our time lines. But I didn't tell you then what it was he knew about me. He used my past to manipulate me, to put himself in a position of power over me. We had met when both of us were in middle-management positions in a direct-marketing company in a small town. I hadn't mentioned my record when I applied there, because in those days, companies didn't usually ask that question or routinely check police records for every applicant. I did tell my husband after we were married, though.

BEE
After you were married! God! You let him marry you without knowing!

RENATA
I'm not saying I did the right thing. I'm just telling you how it was. I was locked into total secrecy. It was a survival technique. You don't know what it's like for someone with a record to rebuild their life. . . . But, I'm sorry; . . . I didn't want to come here and make excuses. Yes, I lived a lie. And I was relieved to have someone to share my real past with when I finally told him. But I regretted it almost immediately. It became his weapon in a power struggle. He was very much into control.

Five years later, when I finally understood that our relationship was sick and I needed to get out of it, I filed for divorce. My husband took revenge by reporting my police record to the company. I was fired in a very humiliating public scene. . . . I've never trusted anyone since. . . . I'm sorry I hurt you. I was only thinking about saving myself from hurt.

BEE
He has listened without moving or looking at her. Coldly, still without looking at her:
It's one thing to make mistakes in the past. But to live a lie for thirty years! And killing someone! How can you just go on as if it hadn't happened?

RENATA
I served my time. And I pled guilty; I didn't try to beat the rap.

BEE
That doesn't bring those two guys back to life.

RENATA
This brings her to tears, which she keeps silent, her hands over her face for a long moment before she can compose herself enough to speak.
No one knows that better than I. I don't believe in forgiveness. Not by society, anyway. And not even by some god. The only beings who have a right to forgive me are those two dead men. I address my prayers for forgiveness to them. I hope somewhere there's a spirit world where they can hear me. . . . But this morning I didn't quite tell you the truth about what happened. I was so upset I just snapped out what I thought you expected to hear.

BEE
Emotional now.
You lied again to me this morning? Jeesus! You must be a liar in the depths of your soul! Go away, Renata! I just don't want to have anything more to do with you!

RENATA
But I wanted to explain . . .

BEE
I don't want to hear any more of your fucking excuses. Just go away, damn it!

Renata rises and goes quietly out. Bee holds his head for a long moment as if he had a splitting headache. Then he reaches over to start the music again and resumes his meditation posture.

Act 3